This is an article that I did back in 2009.  I needed to read it again to remind me.  The storm I am in now is all part of God’s plan.   Hope this will help you, too.

~Spicy

Last week, I did a short study on faith.   This week, I want to touch on something I was reminded of this past Sunday at church.

This past week ended with a tragedy for a friend’s family, and we were overcome with the “WHY?” question.   At this point, I realize now that I will never really know why.  I don’t really need to know why.  If I did, I would already know why.    But I put my trust in one thing…that God knows why and it happened for a reason.   That’s all I need to know.   Many of my friends and I have been encouraging each other this weekend and the start of this new week.   Something my pastor said this weekend really hit home with me.    Hope.    Here’s the verses we studied this weekend.

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.  (Romans 5:3-5)

Now, when I wasn’t a Christian yet, I suffered a very painful time when I was young.   My grandfather died, and I didn’t understand why.   All I knew was that he was gone.   After his funeral, my family had a party (At least to my teenage mind, it was a party)   Why were we celebrating?  Hello!  Did you not remember that Granddad died?  Why are you all laughing and joking?  What is so funny about it?   I was hurting really bad.   My grandma was celebrating because my granddad had come to know Christ before he died.   Granddad cheated death so many times already, and Grandma knew it was because God wasn’t done with him yet.   So she was celebrating that she would see her husband in Heaven when she died.   But I didn’t understand that fully until I became a Christian myself and I felt my Father’s hand on my shoulder comforting me.     See, God wants us to thank him in times of happiness.   He wants us to be grateful when we get a prayer answered.   But he wants us to know that he is there when we are suffering, too.    Even though we are suffering, God isn’t through with us yet.   Through our pain, through our suffering, the Master craftsman is molding us and shaping us for something new.   The things we suffer make us stronger.  In it’s verb form, Dictionary.com gives this definition for persevere: “to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly.” That’s exactly what God wants us to do….keep on keepin’ on, even in the worst situations.   Keep your eyes on the prize, keep striving toward the goal.    Perseverance builds character.   Integrity.   Our traits that form our individual nature as children of God.  and character builds hope.   I love this next part.   And hope does not disappoint us. AMEN!   Our hope is in the Lord.  He always has our best interest at heart.   We have a hope for the future.  Our future is with our Lord in heaven, going about the business that he has planned for us.   Our future IS NOT eternal separation from our loving God.  I look forward to the day that God decides that my time on this earth has ended and my time with Him begins eternally.   (that is when God decides it is my time)   My hope looks to that future and my hope will never fail me.   God loves me so much that he sent his Son to die for me.   There is my hope.   I have a Savior who loves me and would give anything to have me with him forever.   That, dear ones, is a promise that will never be broken.

So yes, we will go through times of sorrow.  We will go through times of pain.  We will go through times that we just hurt so badly.   These words from God tell us to praise him in this storm.   God holds us all in his hands, and there are no other hands that can hold me so tightly and never let go of me.   God is not through with you, dear one.   When Noah looked out on all the rain that fell and flooded the earth, did he give up hope?  Just because he couldn’t see it through the rain didn’t mean that the rainbow wasn’t there.   God’s word is true forever and ever, AMEN!   God’s promises will never come back with a return to sender stamp on them.   So thank God and praise Him when you are at your lowest.   Take his hand.  There is nowhere to go but up.

We originally saw this survey on The Marriage Bed Forum (see link to TMB in blogroll) and while we do have it on our blog in the comment section of one of our articles it didn’t have it’s own article until now.

The questionnaire below can be filled out and shared with your spouse on an evening away. You can also fill out the answers trade sheets and spend the next few weeks surprising each other. The key is to get talking often simple things are hard to reveal. Some questions use the code at the top of each section, some questions are fill in the blank ,some leave you a place to check your choice and some give you a place to write. Remember the more open and secure we can be with each other the stronger our relationship and the better the sex. Why are you waiting get going!!!

Passion
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ share my fantasies with my partner
I ____ to have sex ___ daily, ___ 2x week, ___ 3x week, ___ 1x week, ___ never stop
I ____ being ravished
I ____ sex in the ___morning, ___afternoon, ___evening best
I ____ to find my partner naked ready for sex
I need to have more sex ___yes, ___ no
I need less sex than my spouse ___often, ___sometimes, ___ never
When my spouse rubs, massages my ______ I want sex instantly
My partner’s satisfaction is just as important as mine __always , __sometimes, __never
I am turned on when my spouse tells me they love me by ___________
I have a lot of fantasies __yes __no
I feel comfortable sharing my fantasies with my spouse ___ yes, ___no

Foreplay
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ it really slow and erotic with lots of touching
I ____ to give my spouse massages
I ____ to shower with my spouse
I ____ to see my spouse partially clothed
I ____ my nipples pinched massaged squeezed
I ____ to watch my spouse masturbate
I ____ to masturbate
I ____ to mutually masturbate with my spouse
I ____ when my spouse offers themselves to me

Clothes
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ it when my partner tells me they are not wearing underwear
I ____ my partner to wear something I can tear off them
I ____ my partner to dress scantly
I ____ to see my spouse in a thong
I ____ exposing parts of my body to attract attention
I ____ my spouse to wear a skirt with crotch less panties / hose

Positions
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ the missionary position
I ____ to be on the bottom
I ____ to 69
I ____ the woman on top facing away
I ____ to be on top
I ____ anal sex
I ____ it Doggy style
I ____ side by side

Places
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ sex in the shower
I ____ sex on the dining room table
I ____ sex on the kitchen counter
I ____ sex in an office
I ____ sex in the living room
I ____ sex in cars or vans
I ____ sex outdoors
I ____ sex in the pool
I ____ sex in the hot tub

Talk
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ my spouse to make noise during sex
I ____ talking dirty to my spouse
I ____ to make my spouse yell out with passion during sex
I ____ it when my spouse uses short phrases like YES, Faster, Harder, repeatedly
I ____ it when my spouse tells me to _____ them now

I climax stronger and faster when my spouse talks dirty ___ yes, ___ no
I am turned off when my spouse talks dirty ___ yes, ___ no
I am turned on when my spouse talks dirty ___ yes, ___ no
I am turned off when my spouse use clinical terms ___ yes, ___ no

Acts
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ to finger my spouse to orgasm
I ____ to be fingered to orgasm
I ____ giving oral sex
I ____ receiving oral sex
I ____ my spouse to perform oral sex without my asking

Misc
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ to skinny dip
I ____ to use a vibrator
I ____ to use lube
I ____ to eat ____ fruit off your naked body
I can’t stand it when the dog or cat is watching us have sex ___ yes, ___ no
My favorite thing you wear to tell me you want sex is _______
My favorite food to play with during sex is __________
I like sex best when we ___________
The best time we had sex was __________

August 26, 2009

Whenever I heard of a woman saying that their orgasms would last forever or come right after one another I usually assumed that they were over exaggerating.  Then it happened.  I experienced this wonderful phenomenon for myself.  My husband and I were making love and I actually had to ask him to stop because it was just going and going.  The only analogy I can think of is riding this wave of pleasure but instead of coming down from the crest I just kept going and going.

These types of orgasms usually come from a little luck and a lot of hard work.  First my body had to learn how to shorten my refractory time to nothing.  You read that correctly, women have a refractory time too.  I talked about how to do this in “Multiple Orgasms; Part One”.  Once you master sequential orgasms then your body may start having these “bunches of  o’s”.

Bunches of O’s:  This type of orgasm comes one after the other in a continuous string until you decide to stop.   They are much less common then the sequential o’s but they are possible.  You just need to work at shortening the time between your sequential o’s and with some persistence these “Bunches of O’s” can be achieved.  Instead of basking in the glow like we discussed in part one of this series you keep the stimulation going constantly. The last time I had one of these my poor husband thought he was going to have to perform CPR.  Do I have this type of contraction every time I have an orgasm?  No, but when they happen it is a nice surprise.

Warning:  If this is making you lose focus on what lovemaking is really about then it is not worth it.  Becoming one with your spouse is much more satisfying then any orgasm.  Trying for multiple orgasms should be a fun thing not something that consumes you. These are much easier to obtain if you just happen to ‘fall upon them’.  Meaning, don’t think about them too much. If you find yourself frustrated then just go with the one orgasm.  Quality is far better then quantity.