If you would have asked me when we first got married if I would ever own a sex toy, I would have told you emphatically NO!And I couldn’t explain to you why I felt that was such a dirty thing to own.For a girl who had found her clitoris very stimulating from the time I was about 8 years old, what was the difference in the masturbating to achieve that feeling back then and a toy?They both achieve the same thing.I found a bunch of Playboy magazines that were my father’s when I was 8 and seeing women touch themselves made me explore my own body.
So when my husband asked me about one, I wasn’t so sure about it.I did some research online.Believe me, there is a lot to choose from!I didn’t know if I wanted something that was like my husband because I didn’t want it to replace him, but in the end, I chose and ordered my first toy.It was a vibrating dildo and it broke within days of getting it!Argh!Over the years, we have built up a small collection of vibes….bullet vibes, egg vibes, gyrating dildos, waterproof vibes, a g-spot vibe, an anus plug and even made a clone a willy!(molding kit of my own dh)Each one was a new experiment for me.A step out of my comfort zone.
These toys have helped me in many ways.First and most importantly, they have helped me to explore my own body.I can find out what feels good, and I can communicate that to my husband during intercourse or oral sex.Bullet vibes helped me to learn how to orgasm, what point of the clitoris needed the most stimulation to achieve that orgasm, and it has helped me on days that it was very difficult for my honey to wait for me to come first.
Secondly, they have really eroticized our sex life.There have been occasions where my husband has been out of time and I have had HUGE desires for him.He gives me permission to achieve a release when he is gone.I never fantasize about someone else, it is always about HIM.And the vibes and dildoes have been a great source for turning him on.We have added a 3’x4’ mirror to our room, and I use it and angle our webcam when he is on trips to show him what I wish he were doing to me at that moment.It is extremely erotic and arousing for both of us when we use our webcam when we are apart.
The webcam and our video camera have become tools for sexual pleasure for us.Whether webcamming while he is out of town or video taping a very pleasurable lovemaking session, we take advantage of opportunities to enhance our stimulation and pleasure with each other.
Okay, if this sounds like something out of a porn movie, there is one big difference.Everything my husband and I do with toys, cameras, whatever is only with and for each other.The bible tells us in Matthew 19:4-5 “”Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[b]? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” We believe thsi wholeheartedly. I had this read in our wedding vows.We have never added another presence into our marriage bed.It’s just us.Yeah, we get a lot of eroticism from watching our home movies, but it’s just him and me.We have never added pornographic videos into our sex life.We have never added other people, whether a threesome or intermarital affairs into our marriage bed.We have never even entertained the thought of bestiality into our bedroom because biblically, God does not approve.The only other presence in our marriage bed is God, who blesses our union every time we come together.
The bible is silent on certain topics.There is no passage in the bible that says sex toys are wrong or right.But there are passages that let us know what IS wrong… like adultery, bestiality, fornication and homosexuality.As long as you don’t bring into your marriage bed the things God construes as a sin, I do believe that God approves.(And yes, dear one, this does include what and who you are thinking of while you are making love to your spouse)
Now my life does not revolve around my sex toys.Honestly, I don’t use them as much anymore.I know how to maneuver myself so that I use my husband to achieve the same goal that they were originally intended for.It is nice to know that they are there for the next out of town jaunt he must take, so I keep those batteries charged for their next use!