Archive | September 2013

I love him because…

It is so very easy to look at our husbands and see the bad….admit it, sometimes we see the dirty clothes all over the floor, the toothpaste tube squeezed from the middle, the kids need baths and he’s watching football on tv, I made this wonderful dinner and he didn’t even bother to call me to tell me he was late!   All of these things compound up, day after day, but have you taken the time to look for the positive?

Love, what is it?  A feeling?  No.   Feelings come and go like waves lapping on the beach.   Love is a commitment.  Love works through that laundry on the floor and sees the man who fixed your washing machine so you don’t have to drag all your unmentionables back down to the laundrymat again this week.   Love looks past all the wrongs, the faults, the sin…and sees him through God’s eyes.   A cherished human being that God sacrificed his Son for.  Agape.  That’s what love is.   It’s not a crush, you don’t love him like ice cream (well, maybe you do…), but it’s self sacrificing love.

Here’s my challenge to you.   Sit down and instead of writing down all his faults, take a moment and finish this statement with 10 answers

I love him because….

Here’s mine…in no particular order

I love him because….

1.  he loves me unconditionally.

2.  he can do anything he sets his mind to.

3.  he is a wonderful father to our two children.

4. he is a gentle and thoughtful lover.

5.  he is so devoted to his family.

6.  he works 6 days a week to provide for us and to care for his ailing father.

7.  he calls me sexy on a daily basis.

8.  he pursued me relentlessly, and helped me to see he was whom God intended for me.

9.  he would never leave me or forsake me for any reason.

1o.  he’s my best friend.

Can you do it?   If you don’t want to post it in the comment section, write them out and put it in a special place where he’ll find it.  You will make his day!  Happy writing!!  :)

spicynutmeg

POTW: The Dessert Menu

This is a simple oral sex position that could easily be used after a nice, private dinner for two, or anytime you find yourselves with private time in your kitchen.  For this position the wife simply sits on top of the kitchen table and spreads her legs wide, facing her husband.  She can lean back on her hands or elbows.  The husband sits in a chair as he normally would for dinner, except this is dessert time!

The husband is then able to perform cunnilingus on his wife.  You may need to alter this somewhat to fit your kitchen.  This position can be done on a bar or even your kitchen counter.

Pros: The table or bar lifts the wife up so that the husband has easy access.

Cons: The wife will be sitting on a hard surface, which may become uncomfortable after a while.

Tip: Make sure you trade places so that the wife gets her dessert too!

.

 Cumingirl

Throwback Thursdays: Multiple Orgasms (part 1)

Are you one of those women who think that she isn’t capable of having multiple orgasms?  Every woman is capable of having them. I’m going to try to explain how they can be achieved and what the different types are.  Grab yourself a snack, a drink and a positive attitude and we will be on our way!!!.

Sequential O’s:  Having multiple orgasms is a learned response.  If you are going to teach yourself first, a bullet or vibe may work better then your fingers.  Get nice and comfortable.  Think of how you can bring yourself to orgasm without over stimulating your clitoris.  In the past an ultra sensitive clitoris has been what has held me back from going for more but with time and retraining of my brain I have learned to get past it.  If your husband is a willing participant then having him performing oral or using a toy on you first would be ideal.  I wrote some oral tips in my “Pleasing Your Wife” article.  Once you do have that first orgasm bask in the afterglow for a minute and slowly begin exploring again.  You want to keep that clitoris engorged so don’t bask too long!!!

This second orgasm will take longer to achieve because your body is not use to going for more.  You may be sensitive when you first start again but keep working through it just be gentle.  After that ultra sensitive time period has passed you can begin using more pressure to bring that second O on.  If I am doing this solo I like using a dual stimulator at this point.  This allows penetration, possible G spot stimulation and stimulation of my clitoris as well. Here are some examples of dual vibrators. My husband is always willing and eager to help bring the second one along particularly if I brought the first one on solo.  We like either oral or the woman on top position that I discussed in my “Cowgirl” article.  Obviously you should get into what ever position sends you to ecstasy the easiest.  After your second orgasm make note of how long it took you.  We are trying to get them as close together as possible.  The more you try to achieve multiple o’s the easier it will become.  Just like so many other things, practice makes perfect!   After sequential orgasms are obtained you are ready for what I like to refer to as “Bunches of O’s” which I will discuss in part two of this segment.

We all know that you need to learn how to crawl before you can walk.  If you haven’t been able to have an orgasm then let me first encourage you explore your body and learn how to bring yourself to orgasm.   Cumingirl’s article “Touching Yourself” has some great tips.  Once you are comfortable enough to have one with your husband or by yourself in a short amount of time then you are ready to try for multiples.  Try bringing yourself to orgasm throughout your cycle.  Where you are in your cycle does effect how easily you can orgasm.  Remember that a positive attitude is everything!

Photobucket

The Marriage Bed (The Three S’s)

I corresponded with Paul and Lori Byerly off and on for years now, and I truly appreciate their ministry at the Marriage Bed.  It has been a blessing to our marriage, and I am ever so glad that my husband found and introduced me to the Marriage Bed when we were going through our sexual difficulties.  If you have not visited their site, I  highly encourage it.

I was reading one of Paul’s articles (The Three S’s)  on the site, and it is very helpful to me, so I thought I would pass it on to you, too.   I know a lot of you don’t have issues with this topic, but I also know there are those who do have issues.   It was about three things that you can do naked that do not have to end up with sexual intercourse.  Of course, they CAN end up that way if you wish, but it doesn’t have to.

Those three things are SHOWERS, SLEEPING and SNUGGLING.  I know I tend to avoid showers about 90% of the time, just because somehow I have related showering together with sexual intercourse, not just for the pleasure of seeing, touching and cleaning each other’s bodies.  Sleeping is hard for me, too.  I see so many pretty things that I want to wear to bed, and yes, some are not too pretty, but I PROMISE, I gave up my flannels a long time ago with my granny panties, ok??   Hubby loves to sleep naked.  If I buy anything pretty that I think he’ll like to see me in, it ends up on the floor…he’d rather see me naked.  I get that.   My hang up used to be the kids… I don’t have that problem anymore, so I need to do this more often.  Just need to find a good place to hang my robe near my side of the bed.  Snuggling is just something that needs to happen more often in our household.  It ends up being snuggling in bed at night only with a teen and a preteen in the house, so it fits more under the category of sleeping with us… we just need to get creative with this.

Thanks, Paul, for this article.  It was really helpful and made me aware of areas I need to work on in my own marriage.

 

POTW: The Wounded Knee

I call this position The Wounded Knee simply because afterwards your knees may be sore!  To get into position both spouses are going to kneel on their knees facing each other in the floor.  Then, the husband will raise one leg up and place his foot flat on the floor in front of him, as seen in this picture.

The wife will then scoot up to the husband and they will be able to penetrate this way, on their knees.  If the wife needs to, then she can also raise one leg up to help her keep her balance.  She can wrap her hands around her husband’s bottom to help with thrusting.

Pros: This is a perfect face-to-face position for kissing! The husband is also able to caress his wife’s rear and breasts.  What a nice position to try in front of a fire.

Cons: You are sure to get sore knees out of this one!  This position may not be attainable for couples who have a large height difference.

Tip: To help with the knee problem, try putting pillows under you both or using an exercise mat.  You could also try this one on your mattress if you chose to.

He likes pears

There are times when I really let Satan get my self image down.  I don’t intend to let him in, but somehow, I guess he finds a loophole.  He must be very good at squirming in, too.   I look at myself in the mirror and think, what in the world does he see in me?  The world glorifies skinny, pretty young women, and I look at the pear shape in the mirror and sigh, but then I hear God say, “He likes pears.”   🙂

My husband, to his credit, does an amazing job of making me feel loved and wanted.   Besides the obvious physical signs that he needs me, I am noticing more often than I used to that he flavors his speech about me…. most recently, he refers to me as “his bride”.   He can’t keep his hands off me, and I am finding out more and more lately, that there are places that his hands go that I really like.  All of the sudden, him running his hands through my hair makes me feel amazing.  It brings on very strong feelings I haven’t felt in awhile.  Running his  hands, not his fingertips, across my skin is very erogenous.    I love hands on skin contact.   He is doing that more often without me having to ask.

All this to say,  when I look in the mirror now, God allows me to see what my husband finds so attractive in me.  Yes, he does like pears.

Oral blessings for him

I was so glad to happen upon an article called Oral Blessings as I was doing some online reading today.   This was a very helpful and useful article!  I know that oral sex is something that my husband really loves…. not only because it feels good, but he is a visual person, so he likes the view…..   I have to admit, even though I have contributed to blogs like this one and Christian Nymphos for over 5 years, I do still have hang ups over oral sex.  I found in this article, it hits on one of my biggest hang ups…. the gag reflex.

The article gives you some great information on how to start if you haven’t or if you have hang ups, how to get yourself into the mindset that it is a blessing for him, and a very giving thing to do for him.  It also has sections on other common hangups, such as the taste of semen, his hair down there, the other areas of the body that are closest to that area, and the owie factor (like jaw pain) .  I found it to be a very good read, and I am bookmarking it for future reference.

Who knows… maybe I should start practicing while he is in the room….  where are those popsicles.  Not only would it be erotic for him, but he will know that I am working on the issues that I have.   🙂

What hang ups do you have?   How have you overcome them?  Are you willing to overcome them to bless him?