Archive | September 2013

POTW: Bathtub Bonanza

This is a cozy and intimate position for those of you out there who have bathtubs.  It’s fairly simple but there are a couple things you can do to put a twist on it.

You start off by having the husband and wife both enter the tub.  The husband sits down first, legs outstretched.  The wife straddles him and is able to insert his penis.  At this point both spouses raise their knees up so that their feet are flat on the bottom of the tub.  You are now ready to make love in the tub.

For a little something different, try having you both lock arms with each other under both of your knees!  Thrusting will be similar to rocking into each other.

Pros: Very intimate position that allows for cuddling and kissing.

Cons: You may need a silicone-based lubricant for water sex.  You will be confined to a small space.

Throwback Thursdays: Sex Survey for Spouses

We originally saw this survey on The Marriage Bed Forum (see link to TMB in blogroll) and while we do have it on our blog in the comment section of one of our articles it didn’t have it’s own article until now.

The questionnaire below can be filled out and shared with your spouse on an evening away. You can also fill out the answers trade sheets and spend the next few weeks surprising each other. The key is to get talking often simple things are hard to reveal. Some questions use the code at the top of each section, some questions are fill in the blank ,some leave you a place to check your choice and some give you a place to write. Remember the more open and secure we can be with each other the stronger our relationship and the better the sex. Why are you waiting get going!!!

Passion
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ share my fantasies with my partner
I ____ to have sex ___ daily, ___ 2x week, ___ 3x week, ___ 1x week, ___ never stop
I ____ being ravished
I ____ sex in the ___morning, ___afternoon, ___evening best
I ____ to find my partner naked ready for sex
I need to have more sex ___yes, ___ no
I need less sex than my spouse ___often, ___sometimes, ___ never
When my spouse rubs, massages my ______ I want sex instantly
My partner’s satisfaction is just as important as mine __always , __sometimes, __never
I am turned on when my spouse tells me they love me by ___________
I have a lot of fantasies __yes __no
I feel comfortable sharing my fantasies with my spouse ___ yes, ___no

Foreplay
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ it really slow and erotic with lots of touching
I ____ to give my spouse massages
I ____ to shower with my spouse
I ____ to see my spouse partially clothed
I ____ my nipples pinched massaged squeezed
I ____ to watch my spouse masturbate
I ____ to masturbate
I ____ to mutually masturbate with my spouse
I ____ when my spouse offers themselves to me

Clothes
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ it when my partner tells me they are not wearing underwear
I ____ my partner to wear something I can tear off them
I ____ my partner to dress scantly
I ____ to see my spouse in a thong
I ____ exposing parts of my body to attract attention
I ____ my spouse to wear a skirt with crotch less panties / hose

Positions
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ the missionary position
I ____ to be on the bottom
I ____ to 69
I ____ the woman on top facing away
I ____ to be on top
I ____ anal sex
I ____ it Doggy style
I ____ side by side

Places
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ sex in the shower
I ____ sex on the dining room table
I ____ sex on the kitchen counter
I ____ sex in an office
I ____ sex in the living room
I ____ sex in cars or vans
I ____ sex outdoors
I ____ sex in the pool
I ____ sex in the hot tub

Talk
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ my spouse to make noise during sex
I ____ talking dirty to my spouse
I ____ to make my spouse yell out with passion during sex
I ____ it when my spouse uses short phrases like YES, Faster, Harder, repeatedly
I ____ it when my spouse tells me to _____ them now

I climax stronger and faster when my spouse talks dirty ___ yes, ___ no
I am turned off when my spouse talks dirty ___ yes, ___ no
I am turned on when my spouse talks dirty ___ yes, ___ no
I am turned off when my spouse use clinical terms ___ yes, ___ no

Acts
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ to finger my spouse to orgasm
I ____ to be fingered to orgasm
I ____ giving oral sex
I ____ receiving oral sex
I ____ my spouse to perform oral sex without my asking

Misc
(insert L= like, WL= would like, DNL= do not like, SL= sometimes like)
I ____ to skinny dip
I ____ to use a vibrator
I ____ to use lube
I ____ to eat ____ fruit off your naked body
I can’t stand it when the dog or cat is watching us have sex ___ yes, ___ no
My favorite thing you wear to tell me you want sex is _______
My favorite food to play with during sex is __________
I like sex best when we ___________
The best time we had sex was __________

August 26, 2009

“You made my dreams come true”

I heard this from him last week.  It was one of the proudest moments I have felt in a long time.

I can only speak for my husband, but I am sure just about all married men have something in mind that if their wife would do it for them, it would be like a dream he had coming true.  Wives isn’t that what it’s all about?  Doing something for our husbands that is so giving that he feels like his best dream came true?  It’s exactly what Jesus did for us.  Our sin on this earth keeps us from the biggest dream come true ever.   The promise of eternity in heaven with God.  There isn’t any way that we can earn it back. We can never do enough good to receive that promise.  We blow it every day.  But God knew we would do that before we were even created and he made a way.  His Son, Jesus Christ, the Messiah…the Savior of the world.   He came down from heaven and sacrificed his very life so that this dream of ours, heaven, could be attained.   All we had to do is believe in Him… call on him to be our personal Savior.

So, why did my hubby say this?  To him, the ultimate gift I could give him was oral sex.  I am not always the #1 fan of oral sex, but my brain was buzzing that night (like his does on a daily basis) and since we couldn’t have intercourse due to a heavy flow day, I took him orally.   I took him very deeply orally…something I usually cannot do due to a really bad gag reflex.   It was something that I chose to freely give, and before we fell asleep, he uttered these words, “You just made my dream come true.”  That meant the world to me.

It’s really important that we put our spouse before ourselves.  In light of my post last week about  my recent discovery of my own perimenopausal vaginal atrophy, we hadn’t been able to have intercourse in almost a month.   I know how hard it is for him.  He doesn’t want to make me feel bad because it is really something beyond my control, but I wanted to do something for him that would show my appreciation for his patience and loving nature during all of this.

Have you ever made your husband’s dream come true?  What would it take for you to do it for him?  Trust me, if you haven’t experienced the joy in doing something this special for your husband, make a plan to do so.  It will bless you as well as bless him.

spicynutmeg

Sex and Health Benefits

Anytime I go to login to my email account, I always check out the yahoo articles to see what is new and interesting.  I happened on an article about 7 health benefits of sexual intercourse.    So besides being an intimate bonding time with your spouse, you are getting some wonderful health benefits, too!  Here are some of the health benefits:

1.  Sex = exercise: your burning calories!

2. Sex keeps you looking younger: I would want to see more proof on this one, but if it is true, ladies, could this be our fountain of youth?

3. It’s good for your heart: wanna lower your blood pressure?  want a better chance of not having a heart attack?  sex can help!

4. Sex boosts immunity: immunoglobin A is produced more often which helps your immune system. It would be interesting to see if I get less colds and sinus infections, since immunoglobin a (igA) works with your nose, eyes, ears, digestive tract and vagina to protect those areas from outside foreign substances.

5. It can cure the common headache….kind of: Intimacy and bonding helps you to relax, and oxytocin is released during sex which helps decrease pain.

6. Sex gets the blood pumping: sex increases blood flow which gets oxygen molecules moving through out your body and you feel better.

7. Sex helps you sleep better: oxytocin not only can help decrease pain and increase endorphins, but it relaxes you so you can sleep better.

Do you think any of these hold water?  I think these can offer some of these benefits, but I am not trying it out on my next sinus headache to see if it works!  :)   What other benefits do you think sex has on your physical health?

POTW: The Hot Seat

This is a nice position that is easy to transition to from rear entry.  The husband will kneel on his knees on the bed or even on the floor.  He will then open his legs up so that his wife has room to move in.  The wife will back into her husband’s lap (also in a kneeling position) and place her feet inside of his.  They penetrate and sit up together.

Another way to get into position is to get into your typical rear entry position with the husband behind his wife, and the wife’s legs inside her husband’s legs. He will then lean over and hug his wife.  They both then sit up together and kneel back onto their feet and knees together.  The wife is able to reach around and hold on to her husband’s rear or reaches above and holds on to her husband’s neck and shoulders.  The husband does the thrusting and has easy access to his wife’s breasts.  Kissing is possible if the wife turns her head around.

Pros: Very easy and comfortable position.  The husband has access to his wife’s breasts and clitoris.

Cons: After a while you may get tired of being on your knees.

Throwback Thursdays: Bunches of O’s (Multiple orgasm part 2)

Whenever I heard of a woman saying that their orgasms would last forever or come right after one another I usually assumed that they were over exaggerating.  Then it happened.  I experienced this wonderful phenomenon for myself.  My husband and I were making love and I actually had to ask him to stop because it was just going and going.  The only analogy I can think of is riding this wave of pleasure but instead of coming down from the crest I just kept going and going.

These types of orgasms usually come from a little luck and a lot of hard work.  First my body had to learn how to shorten my refractory time to nothing.  You read that correctly, women have a refractory time too.  I talked about how to do this in “Multiple Orgasms; Part One”.  Once you master sequential orgasms then your body may start having these “bunches of  o’s”.

 

Bunches of O’s:  This type of orgasm comes one after the other in a continuous string until you decide to stop.   They are much less common then the sequential o’s but they are possible.  You just need to work at shortening the time between your sequential o’s and with some persistence these “Bunches of O’s” can be achieved.  Instead of basking in the glow like we discussed in part one of this series you keep the stimulation going constantly. The last time I had one of these my poor husband thought he was going to have to perform CPR.  Do I have this type of contraction every time I have an orgasm?  No, but when they happen it is a nice surprise.

Warning:  If this is making you lose focus on what lovemaking is really about then it is not worth it.  Becoming one with your spouse is much more satisfying then any orgasm.  Trying for multiple orgasms should be a fun thing not something that consumes you. These are much easier to obtain if you just happen to ‘fall upon them’.  Meaning, don’t think about them too much. If you find yourself frustrated then just go with the one orgasm.  Quality is far better then quantity.   

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The Dreaded VA

No, I am not talking about the Veteran’s Administration, though I could make a whole other post on my Dad’s experiences with their hospitals, but I am referring to Vaginal Atrophy.   Just saying the word atrophy makes me think about something old, shriveled up and ready to crumble at any minute.  Something a paleontologist would dig up from some ruins along with some dinosaur bones.    Here I am using that word with my vagina…. the birth canal that delivered my 2 babies…. the pleasure center for myself and my husband…. atrophied.   I shudder at that word.

I was referred by my PCP to a gynecologist for severe pain and swelling in that area of my body.  Never knowing if I had constant monthly yeast infections or lactobacilli infections….e coli…. I’ve had it all, but it keeps coming back month after month after month since May of this year.   So, I made the appointment to see him.

Vaginal atrophy.   “I can definitely see physical signs of perimenopause during your exam”   Well, finally, someone who will agree with me that I am in perimenopause.  With my PCP, my hormones were always “within acceptable range”   Now, the actual proof.  He said my vaginal walls were thinning out, it was dry in there (I call it the Sahara Desert) and I needed some help.

Vaginal atrophy, also called atrophic vaginitis, is thinning, drying and inflammation of the vaginal walls due to your body having less estrogen. Vaginal atrophy occurs most often after menopause, but it can also develop during breast-feeding or at any other time your body’s estrogen production declines.  For many women, vaginal atrophy makes intercourse painful — and if intercourse hurts, your interest in sex will naturally decrease. In addition, healthy genital function is closely connected with healthy urinary system function.  Symptoms associated with his include:

  • Vaginal dryness
  • Vaginal burning
  • Vaginal discharge
  • Genital itching
  • Burning with urination
  • Urgency with urination
  • More urinary tract infections
  • Urinary incontinence
  • Light bleeding after intercourse
  • Discomfort with intercourse
  • Decreased vaginal lubrication during sexual activity
  • Shortening and tightening of the vaginal canal

I was  prescribed a vaginal cream called Estrace.   Estrace is a vaginal estrogen cream. You insert this cream directly into your vagina with an applicator, usually at bedtime. Your doctor will let you know how much cream to use and how often to insert it. Typically women use it daily for one to three weeks and then one to three times a week thereafter. Although creams may offer faster relief than do other forms of vaginal estrogen, they can be messier.

So, I start my journey with estrogen cream.  I’ll document it on occasion for those who are interested in how it works for me.   Trust me, I’ve tried OTC Replens (see my article HERE on that fiasco)  Also, please feel free to comment on your experiences, too as well.

spicynutmeg