Archive | June 2013

POTW: Waterlingus

As you can probably tell from the title, this is a cunnilingus position designed with a swimming pool or body of water in mind.  You will need a raft, tube, or noodle.

To begin with, the wife needs to get some type of flotation device.  Noodles work great for this, or some type of small raft.  The couple goes to wherever the ladder or steps are in the pool and the husband leans back or sits on them.  The wife lies back onto her noodle in a floating position, and puts her feet up on the ladder or side of the pool, around her husband’s head.  The husband is now able to pull her into him and give her oral sex.  This one should be pretty easy to picture.

Pros: Another carefree position for the wife.

Cons: Make sure your flotation device keeps you afloat!


Prayer for you

I saw this on The Generous Wife, and thought it was an excellent prayer to pass on.


Thank you for all the women here who desire to build their marriages. I ask that you give them wisdom for their own unique marriage. Help them to understand their husbands, to know their dreams, their desires and their hopes. Please grow love and affection between them and their husbands. Help their love to grow in every way.

In Jesus’ name I ask these things. Amen.

Never hurts to ask for what you need.

Prayer is not overcoming God’s reluctance, but laying hold of His willingness.  Martin Luther

Readers Questions: Hubby losing erection

A reader posed a question to me about a dilemma she is having.  She has recently had an “awakening” and can’t get enough of her hubby.   Recently, he has been losing his erection during intercourse.  This has happened about 4-5 times in the past month.   They are both in their early 30’s, 3 children, and he is an avid cyclist.  She is starting to feel rejected.  Can we help her with the words to communicate to her husband that she loves being intimate with him, but is a bit concerned about him losing his erection.

I know approaching a man about his erections can be a sore subject that some men don’t like to address.   It can make them feel worse.   Any suggestions for this reader?

POTW: Honeycomb

This is an oral sex position that is sure to please!  And from the title I bet you can guess who will be getting the most pleasure here.  Wives, this one is for you!

To get into position the husband will lay down on his back on the bed.  He then needs to let his head hang just off the edge.  The wife then walks up to the bed and straddles her husband’s face.  He pleasures her orally while she stands.  She can lean over and hold on to the bed or his body to keep her balance.

This is one position where having a lower bed is probably best.  If your bed is on bed risers then the wife may need to stand on small stools in order to accomplish this one.  Get creative and see what other furniture you have in your house that would accommodate this position!

Pros: Wives have some power here, as they are able to move and add pressure as needed.  Husbands may like the eye candy.

Cons: Some women are uncomfortable or unable to orgasm standing up.  Make sure that the husband has adequate ventilation for breathing!


Support systems

Lord, help me surround myself with mature believers who will hold me accountable in all things, including my marriage.

This was a marriage prayer on The Marriage Bed’s Facebook page last week.   Today’s sermon at church got me thinking about this, too.

One of our Elders did the sermon today on 1 Timothy 1:12-20 today.   It was a reminder of the Gospel message, but also a message to Timothy not to give up on his faith.

1 Timothy 1:18 Timothy, my son, I am giving you this command in keeping with the prophecies once made about you, so that by recalling them you may fight the battle well, 19 holding on to faith and a good conscience, which some have rejected and so have suffered shipwreck with regard to the faith. 20 Among them are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme.

How many shipwrecked marriages do you know of?  How many couples have given up hope?  How many believers have lost faith in their marriage, their spouse and their God?  This Elder stressed to us that being a part of a church body, we should never have reason to lose our faith.   He was celebrating his 34th wedding anniversary that day he preached.  Another couple in our church had the exact same 34th wedding anniversary day, just a few hours later!  In my church body, there are so many couples whose marriages have stood the test of time.   His point was that marriage is hard.   Marriage is work.  There are going to be bad times as well as good times.  If we come to a point where we are giving up our faith in our spouse, find someone, another married couple, to talk with.   That is what your church body is for.  I have made so many friends of different generations at this church, and we’ve only been there about a year and a half.  It’s home, and I do feel that if I ever had trouble in my marriage or if DH and I needed counseling, there are so many different people to choose from.

This coming Monday, Hubby and I will celebrate 18 years of marriage.  Has it been easy?  No.  I was a refuser for 11 of those.   It was only by God’s grace and Hubby’s patience that we made it through that, and here I am today advising you.    Do you have a support system in your church where you can go for help if you needed it with your marriage?  A couple that you can trust that you may come to find out has been there, done that and got the T-shirt.  And they made it through.   My parents, later this year will celebrate 48 years of marriage.  Isn’t that incredible?  I am so proud of them.  It’s been hard.   It’s been a struggle in the past 4 years with three bouts of cancer, but they have stuck together like glue, and keep trudging forward.  They have given me so much to learn from.

Has your faith been tested?  Have you given up on God?  Just know that he never gives up on you.

1 Timothy 1:15  “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.”

A reader who needs help

This reader’s question has to do with her past getting in the way of her intimacy with her husband…She made some bad decisions with her sexuality as a teen, and it interferes with her current marriage bed.  Here’s a few snippets of her question….

I got married to a wonderful godly man when my twins were 2.5 years old and we now have 2 more kids. We have been married for 5 years and I have been to counseling a few times for my past. For the past year, I have really struggled with giving up control in our sexual intimacy. I feel like if I do, then feelings and memories will come back when my husband touches me. There have been times when he has touched me and it hasn’t felt good, even though other times, he touches me the same way and it’s enjoyable like it should be. How do I give up control so my husband and I can enjoy sex the way God describes it

I have no past experience in the extent of her experiences, which include, unfortunately, rape.  BUT I do know the feeling of letting my PAST get in the way of my PRESENT and FUTURE.  I had multiple partners before marrying my husband.   There were things I did with them that I was not proud of.   There were times when it felt like the Holy Spirit was SCREAMING at me not to sleep with the guy, but I did it anyway.   Crazy stuff.  Crazy.   But for a while, it really interfered with my sex life.  I don’t have really any answers, only that it took time for God to patiently wait for me to be ready for the truth.  Until then, I believed a lot of Satan’s lies about me and intimacy with my husband.   Communicate as much as you feel comfortable with your husband about your past and issues that are popping up.   I am not sure how compassionate he would be about it, but remember he chose you.  He loves you.  He wants to be intimate with you, so I pray that he will be patient, loving and helpful as you pray and work through all this with your counselor.

Any help or suggestions from my faithful readers?  I know she would appreciate any help you can offer her.

POTW: Ballerina

You do not need to have a tutu or tiara on hand to attempt this position.  Personally, I think it could look very sexy though, especially if you are commando. (Just watch out for the tooling of the tutu because that material is extremely itchy.)  This is one of those positions where your husband will be able to lay back and enjoy the show.

Have your husband lie down on his back and then prop him up by placing some pillows behind his back.  This should help him tilt his pelvis toward the side of the bed.  You will start by standing on the side of the bed facing him.  Lift one leg and extend it over your husband, thus the position name, while keeping your other leg straight with your foot flat on the floor for support.  I recommend putting whichever leg is closest to your husband’s feet over his body.  This way he gets a better view of your most imitate parts and he can help you with stimulation.  If you are more coordinated using the other leg then by all means go with whatever works for you.  Don’t feel like you need to keep your arms up like a ballerina.  Use those hands for balance.  If your balance is excellent and you don’t need to use you arms to brace yourself then feel free to use them on your husband.  You should have easy assess to his testicles, perineum and (if you can stretch) his rear.

If your supporting leg becomes tired at any point have your husband take over with the thrusting.  You want to make sure that whatever surface your husband is lying on is not too high because it is much more difficult for you to get leverage for adequate thrusting.  If he is a little lower then you can bend your knee in a squat like movement.  When your husband is basking in the afterglow he will most likely look at you as the princess you are and no, it’s not because of your tiara.  He will be overcome with the wonderful sensations he felt from his very own personal ballerina.

Pros: ~Very relaxing for the husband.

~Easy clitoral access for the husband or wife.

~If the wife starts to get tired the husband can take over with the movements.

~Easy to control deep or shallow penetration.

~Nice tight fit.

Cons: ~Can be tricky line up genitals, especially if the bed (or whichever surface is high).

~Leg may start aching but just think of those new muscles you are developing.  😉