Is Today the most Dangerous day in your marriage?

First, let me post-Mother’s day say Happy Mother’s Day to all moms out there…. grandmoms, aunts, and any and all women who “mother” or mentor children.   You are a blessing to our world.

I scanned an article today that I didn’t really think about before… the day after Mother’s Day being the most dangerous day of your marriage.   Why?  Well, if Mom had certain expectations of the day, and they weren’t met, the day after could be holy hell for her hubby and kids.

I have a great group of women that I am a part of two different “Birthclub” boards with.  Our children are all turning 10 either last month or this month.   I love these ladies.  They are like “sisters from another mister” if you know what I mean.  On one board today, it already appeared…. the “Mother’s Day disappointment” thread.   I feel badly for the ladies who had a really bad “crappy” (their words) Mother’s day.

I am the mother of 2 great kids.  A 16 yo boy and a 10 yo girl.  To my daughter, every day is Mother’s Day.  “Mom, you’re the best.”  “Mom, I don’t know what I would do without you.”  “Mom, I love doing things for you.”  “Here, Mom, this is for you.” … the boy, well I love him to death, but he’s got a bit of Aspergers in him, so unless I am talking about baseball (his latest fascination), then I might as well be invisible.  That’s okay.  I do try to remain interested in what he is interested in when I can.   My DH of almost 18 years asks the week before Mother’s Day… “What do you want for Mother’s Day?”  Not really wanting a gift, I say, “A hug from our son would be great.”   SO, on Mother’s Day…. I got my hug from the boy, a gift from the kids (Les Miserable!), dinner out the night before, a Doobie Brother’s concert this past Friday from DH.  I feel really blessed and appreciated.   But not many ladies on that birthclub board…. at this posting, there are 24 rants on their about husbands…. I really feel badly for those men.

Here’s my thing.  My blessing is that God made me a mother.   Yes, it’s nice to be appreciated, but even if the kids and DH forgot year after year, I know that God knows, watches and appreciates.    There are so many women in this world that cannot be a mother for one reason or another…. or choose to not be a mother…. or have lost their mother.   It really seems like a dig at them to gripe and complain about not being appreciated as a mother.   At this stage of my life, if DH forgot, he wouldn’t need to worry about the Wrath of Spicy the next day.  (Isn’t that a movie?  LOL)  Our marriage is much stronger than that.    I am blessed in the fact that my husband does take the time to show appreciation, to remember what I like and what I dislike, and to encourage our kids to show their mom love and appreciation.  I thank God for him that I don’t have to complain about a crappy day with him at all.   No, we’re not perfect, but we take the time to really read each other.

So which category do you fall in after Mother’s Day (if you are a mother) … the “Tell me all the crappy things he didn’t do for me” or the “I am so blessed to be his wife and their mother” camp?  Should women really make their husbands suffer the day after Mother’s Day if they don’t get the appreciation and gifts they expect?

5 thoughts on “Is Today the most Dangerous day in your marriage?

  1. YES. That is exactly right. It is what I was trying to say in my last post, so it was neat to see you echo some of the same sentiments here. It depends on WHO you look to fill you up. If we are working for God, we cannot be disappointed:

    • I’ll confess there was a time in my life that I did try really hard not to “expect” anything like other mom’s got on mothers day or it would really be a struggle for me to see another mom with flowers,etc, and be hurt that I didn’t get those, too. There is such a bigger picture here. I know where my worth lies. Not in those flowers that die a few days later… God is where my true worth lies.

      • Yes exactly. I have been realizing it in profound ways this week. It happens when I least expect it, and then I realize it when I look back.

  2. A few years ago, I told my husband & 4 kids that I didn’t want ANYthing for Mother’s day, and I meant it. They believed me (miracle), & I got nothing. Except breakfast in bed. Oh, and hugs all day long. And then there was not having to cook Sunday dinner. So, you can be cherished without getting anything. I try my best to be appreciative no matter what, but it’s been a LONG journey here!

  3. My day started out not so great and I had to “check the attitude” because I could see my insides getting ugly. A family bike ride was what got me out of my funk…so fun!

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