I found this article on One Flesh Marriage. It is, of course, from a man’s point of view, but sometimes for us ladies, it is good to see things through our hubby’s eyes on occasion instead of our own. Now my hubby is not a lingerie kinda guy. He would much rather there be nothing on at all.
I used to purchase lingerie all the time. My train of thought…”it’s sexy and he will really like it”. When he wasn’t really crazy about it, I thought, “oh, I just bought the wrong one.” and would buy a different one. Instead of listening to him say, “I would rather you be naked”, I was hearing what I wanted to hear. Eventually, I stopped buying it because it was a waste of money. That’s when I started listening to him.
Now on a rare occasion, I will pull out a sheer nighty to wear without panties, just because I like the way it feels and the way it makes me feel.
Is your man a lingerie type of guy?
Nope. Mine is like yours. We both realized when I need to dress up its for me to feel good, not him.
Thanks for your post and your link! I appreciate your input and comment. I have met several guys who say “I would rather my wife be naked” too. My observation is that they are still appreciating the messages that I wrote about lingerie “saying” however they are liking them, “in the flesh” so to speak. Even if your guy doesn’t like lingerie, I would suggest having a conversation with him on what ways you are communicating these messages, which he loves and which he would love you to do more, and even which are less important for him! I’ve found that we can never be enough of an expert into our spouses desires! (oh and I encourage guys the same way too!)
Thanks for the link! Be sure to check out Kate’s follow up post about wives “hang-ups” with lingerie:
http://www.onefleshmarriage.com/2013/05/why-women-have-hang-ups-lingerie.html
Normally I don’t post comments from men, but since you are the author, it seems appropriate! I will check out Kate’s post, too!
My husband is also in the “naked preferred” camp. Not that he complains if I wear something sexy, but it comes off pretty quickly. Like hiddinsight, I dress in lingerie for myself. It makes me feel sexy and alluring. I put my lingerie dollars in to my undies and bras. He enjoys seeing me getting ready in the morning in sexy bras and panties.
But, to speak of the dollar aspect of lingerie (the “bedroom wear”), it really doesn’t have to be expensive. I browse the clearance rack at Target for sexy stuff and find some fun things for very little $$. Bras and panties, yes… I spend on, but not “bedroom” clothes. Oh, and I try to make sure my sleepwear collection is pretty and at least a little bit sexy too.