Okay, well that is according to this article that I recently read, but honestly, it doesn’t surprise me. Men say they want MORE communication! Yes, you read that correctly.
Based on survey results from more than 70,000 respondents, the new book, The Normal Bar, provided a number of surprises. But the most surprising result I read about was when men in unhappy relationships were asked what they want most from their partners that they’re not getting. The authors/researchers expected to find that sex topped the list, but it didn’t make the top two.
Male respondents instead want more and better communication, saying their partners don’t listen to them attentively enough. Coming in second, they wanted more affection. In third place, they said they desired more sex.
Now, honestly, I will have to admit, that I didn’t think #1 was sex, but RESPECT. I know that respect is HUGE for a man. If he doesn’t feel respected, it really hurts him. I know my husband feels that way, but I also know communication can be one of our weak points in our marriage,too at times, so I could see it being an important one as well.
What are your thoughts? If you posed this question to your husband…”What is one thing in our marriage you want MORE of?” what would he say? What do you need more of in your marriage?
We have talked about this at length and it is exactly what he wants most from me…communication. It’s the WAY women communicate that throws men off. Men look at things through the eyes of logic, usually, and take things literally…usually. They want to fix problems. So here’s how we have worked it: instead if me saying, “I feel lonely” (it doesn’t communicate because he may be in the same room), I say, “Can I touch base with you because I feel disconnected and I want to make sure I’m not taking some things out of context.”Now he knows I have a problem that he may be able to fix, which he enjoys doing, and I get his time and attention, which I enjoy receiving. Also, I haven’t overwhelmed him with throwing out a whole bunch of “needs” (I need attention, I need to talk, etc) and all the “feelings” (I feel lonely, I feel sad, I feel like you don’t care).
That’s a great way to put that. I think my husband would feel capable of doing something with that. It’s funny I think most of the books talking about communication in marriage were written by women.
My husband prefers to have sexual attraction. I know he is big on respect but we do respect each other pretty well. Sexual attraction is something we need to work on.