I read another article that hit very close to home. It reminded me of the first 11 years of my marriage…. How I carried guilt and shame, let Satan reside in my mind and let him torture me with my past sin. I took it out on my husband and my marriage bed. I am thankful for the forgiveness from God and my husband that I can now look back and see God’s footprints trying to help me along, but He was patient enough to wait until I was ready to really listen and see what He wanted me to see.
This article is entitled That Still Hurts and it was written this past February. I felt like I could have written it. You can read about my past here on a CN article I wrote as NutmegNympho called Why Wait? The Repercussions . Remember, you are leaving this site for the Christian Nymphos site when you read it… not that it’s a bad thing, but some people have a problem with the name…. Satan had nailed me to my past and it really was ruining me, my husband, my marriage and my relationship with God.
I can think on my past now without all the damage it has done to me. Like I said in my CN article, it’s in the Sea of Forgetfulness, but I can look at it and see God’s footprints in the whole situation. My awakening was something spectacular in my life, where I could really see the truth….the whole truth. I handed my past over to God. He’s handling it now, and I don’t have to worry about it. Satan can use it against me no more.
What did you glean from the article? Did you learn something new? Do you want to share your past experiences? I am hopeful that my story will help someone who thinks they are in the pit of despair…. If you are in a pit, the only thing you can do is look up, right?
“You can never learn that Christ is all you need, until Christ is all you have.”
― Corrie ten Boom
I am so happy I found this site after digging through the old CN site today. I was praying there was a continuation! I have a very in depth question, regarding “the lifestyle”. Long story short, my husband (a Christian by name only) wanted to try it. I knew it was wrong, but pushed the thoughts aside and agreed to it. We never actually swapped, although we did have another person join us once. I felt incredibly guilty, and told my husband. He is relentless in trying to get me to do it again, I am relentless is refusing. Otherwise, we have an incredible sex life….better than anyone I know. But, his pushing this is beginning to cause problems. He is angry that I won’t, and I am angry that he won’t stop trying to convince me it is OK. I’ve shown him Bible verses, and even health reasons as to why we should not, yet he accuses me of being “chicken”. (Otherwise, I am a very free woman when it comes to the bedroom!) What can I do!? I’ve prayed over this for 8 years…what else can I do!? I read the interview on the CN site of former swingers. It could be our story, except that my husband hasn’t seen the wrong in it yet. I would appreciate any advice.
There was a time when satan was all up in my marriage bed business too. He tries to sneak back in there from time to time, being able to identify an attack from satan on my marriage quickly has really helped limit potential damage. I did not have multiple partners prior to my husband, but I was sexually assaulted multiple times in multiple ways in a 12 hr. period. I am fortunate to have a gentle and understanding husband who realizes the impact that those hurtful past memories can have on my ability to enjoy sex. I think Romans 8 offers great encouragement for anyone who the world would call a victim of sexual abuse or assault. The whole chapter is full of wonderful encouragement, but 8:37 says “Yet in ALL these things we are more than conquers through Him who loved us.” We have more than conquered! What does that mean? We are not to just survive or even merely toss off the yoke of ‘victim’ but we are to be pro-actively proclaiming victory in our lives and helping others throw off their own ‘victim’ bondage. You are not a survivor, you have conquered and are called to rescue the victims and help bring them to this place of victory through Christ.
When I met my husband I was only Christian for a year. I had a past life of sin and sex before marriage. My husband hasn’t done anything like that and never had a girlfriend before me. When we got together and I moved to Australia from America to be with him, I felt unworthy a lot. I felt like I was dirty and I didn’t deserve to be with him. I thought he deserved much better than me. God taught me that he chose me for my husband and that I did deserve to be with my hubby because he had washed me clean when I gave my life to him. God is so good!