So many Christian and secular sex books seem to imply that each person is responsible for their own sexual needs being met; that it is their choice whether they have an orgasm or not. But what if your DH is not as skilled as you are in lovemaking? Or doesn’t see the urgency to learn, even though you’ve tried to communicate your needs? It seems easier to me to just satisfy his needs, take the pressure off him for satisfying yours, and go get some toys that will do the job. Everyone leaves happy. Has anyone else dealt with this and found a solution?

Are you and you alone responsible for your own sexual needs?  My hubby comes from the “She Comes First” ideology…. what do you think?  What is your experience?

Here’s a snippet from an email….

I have NEVER been able to get an orgasm except only through clitoral stimulation thru a stimulator and even that takes me a while sometimes.  I know having an O is not the end all be all but I would LOVE for my husband to give me an O either orally or with his penis in me.

Another reader….

I am wondering if there’s a specific way to orgasm while actually having intercourse. I’ve read that woman on top is better for that but it has yet to happen for me. The only way we can ever get me to orgasm is either him stimulating me manually or when he goes down on me.  Maybe naive but can you actually reach orgasm through intercourse or does there have to be some other manual stimulation of the clitoris? Because I honestly don’t feel any stimulation there during intercourse unless he does so manually

So my question is, what would you say to these readers?