Archive | December 2012

Faith of a Child: Mary, Mother of Jesus

In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.”

“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called[c] the Son of God.  Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”

“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.” Then the angel left her.

I bet this story from Luke 1:26-38 is one of the most well known stories in the Bible. Especially at this time of year, we’ll hear the plight of this young woman named Mary, whom God chose to be the mother of the Savior of the world. Can you imagine? Can you even fathom what went through this young girl’s mind during this entire scene? Let’s take this step by step and journey through this time and season with Mary.

In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. The angel went to her and said, “Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you.”

One of the first things we learn about Mary is that she is highly favored with the Lord. Mary was a woman that walked in faith already, probably followed God’s laws and decrees to the best of her ability. She was a sinner like we all are, but she followed God and obeyed him. And an angel of the Lord came to visit her. How many of you have been graced by an angel who had been to the throne of God and was sent to give you a message?

Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be.

Mary had probably been startled with the presence of this angel. I am sure that Mary knew well the stories of the Old Testament where God spoke to Moses, or through a prophet such as Elijah, but what did he mean by this? Why was he here?

But the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end.”

That is a lot to take in for a young girl…..

“How will this be,” Mary asked the angel, “since I am a virgin?”

The woman of faith has doubt. Gosh, guys, we all on this website know what it takes to get pregnant….you gotta have sex! And if you are a virgin, that just isn’t going to happen, ya know? I mean…in that time period to be engaged to a man, to be found pregnant…that had some HUGE consequences. Women were married young to older husbands, their betrothals often being arranged in childhood. Being betrothed during this time period was seen like being married, so if she was pregnant, and it wasn’t Joseph’s baby, she was considered an adulteress.

The angel answered, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God.”

The angel reminds her that God can do things that we mortal people know to be impossible. He tells her that her cousin, Elizabeth who was known to be barren, is also bearing a child. Considering Elizabeth’s age, this was a miracle in itself as well.

For nothing is impossible with God.

Nothing, dear one. Nothing is impossible with God. Do you think that it is impossible to fix your marriage? For nothing is impossible with God. Do you think that your marriage bed is in shambles beyond repair? For nothing is impossible with God. Do you think that you cannot let go of lust, adultery, pornography, or an other sin in your life? For nothing is impossible with God.

Nothing is impossible for God. Nothing. And to this, we should all reply just as Mary did… “I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.”

Thy will be done, Lord. Thy will be done. Is the Lord calling you to do something that you feel is impossible? In faith, just like Mary, call on the Lord and tell him “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.” Amen.

Now did it look easy for Mary after that? Known now to be an adulteress… her betrothed husband ready to set her free of the contract they had to marry…. It wasn’t easy. Some of the things God will ask us to do are not easy. Abraham leaving his home to follow God to some unknown land…not easy. Nehemiah rebuilding the walls around Jerusalem…not easy. Moses leading the people out of Egypt…not easy. But Mary had faith that God knew what he was doing in all of this, just like Abraham, Nehemiah and Moses. Thy will be done, Lord.

When you pray for help in your marriage or in your marriage bed, be ready, open and willing to what God will ask you to do. His way is always the best way. He may ask you to march around the walls of Jericho, and it may seem stupid, but it’s God’s way. He wants us to trust him in all that we do. He will not lead us astray. We do a good enough job of that anyway. I am hoping that these Bible studies will spark an interest in wanting to crack open your Bible and learn more. Allow God to speak to you through these ancient words. They are just as applicable today as they were in the days they were written.

Have faith.   Follow God.   Do His will.   May God bless you abundantly.

POTW: Sporks

This week’s featured sex position is a “Spoons” variation which I like to call “Sporks”.

Start out in normal Spoons formation as outlined in a previous article.

  • · You lie on your side.
  • Your husband lies behind you, mimicking your body position.

Now, you are spooning. So, how do you Spork? Here’s the difference… Instead of the two of you remaining in the same position for intercourse, you lean forward so that your back is away from his chest.

This slight variation can make Spooning a little bit easier for those women who have a little more junk in the trunk… in other words, a bigger bum… who might not be able to get enough closeness in the regular Spoons position. Also, if your hubby has a little bit of weight around his mid-section, this slight change can accommodate for that as well. If you find that your back has many erogenous zones, then this position will be heavenly since nothing will be blocking your husband’s touch.

So, there you have it. Try this position if you need to accommodate for extra love handles or just to put a different spin on an old favorite.

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Throwback Thursdays: How Do I Make Myself Feel Sexy Again with a Growing Belly?

(This article was inspired by a question left on an article previously written by Spicy Nutmeg.)

Pregnancy is full of bumps. I remember morning sickness… except for me it was 24/7 sickness for the first four months. I remember the excitement of feeling the first tiny movement which soon escalates into feeling like my child was going to be the next professional soccer star. I remember feeling like I could never get enough sleep and then when 9:00 pm hit, I wanted to deep clean the house, fold four loads of laundry and make a gourmet dessert… all at once! No matter what your story may be, one prominent bump that all of us women have in common during pregnancy is that baby bump! We have to buy new clothes to accommodate it. Things that we took for granted like seat-belts, booths in restaurants and picking things up off the floor all of a sudden feel somewhat foreign. There are so many situations for us and our husbands to adapt to and sex and feeling sexy is not excluded from the list.

The first thing that I would suggest is to embrace that changing body of yours. I loved my pregnant belly. The bigger it got, the more I liked it! It more than likely had to do with the bundle inside, but it was also a time when my tummy was hard without having to do aerobics five times a week, run a couple miles, lift weights and diet to get it that way! Just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean that you can’t be fashionable. Maternity clothes have grown strides in the recent past. In any price range that you can afford, there are cute things for you to wear. One of the best things that I purchased during my last pregnancy was a mix-n-match 5 piece outfit for $100. It had pants, two shirts and two skirts all in neutral colors for the basic wardrobe. It was a life saver!

And now that I’m done having kids, I’ve discovered that manufacturers are making maternity lingerie! And I’m not just talking panties and nursing bras, but the sexy stuff. Buy some! And if you don’t want to fork out the cash on maternity lingerie, then I’d suggest buying the fly-away baby doll type of lingerie which would leave ample room for a growing belly. Also, make sure you keep up with your beauty routines or pamper yourself from time to time. Some spas give special maternity massages, and even if you can’t find one that does so, you can still relax by getting your nails done, a pedicure or getting a long scalp massage the next time you’re getting a shampoo during a hair cut.

Along with hormone fluctuations and different degrees of fatigue, take advantage of the times when you do feel as if you have a lot of energy. As I mentioned before, my big bouts of energy always came in the late evening, so whenever yours arrive, do your best to take some alone time with your husband. You may need to experiment with different positions during pregnancy to find something that’s more comfortable. The “woman on top” position was always great for us. Sit up and allow your husband to familiarize himself with your growing belly and breasts during sex.

It also helped immensely that my husband was not shy about telling me how much he adored my pregnant form. So… guys who read this blog… pay attention! Your wife may need some extra encouragement during this time in her life and you can play a key role in helping her feel beautiful and sexy while she is pregnant. Encourage her through touch and verbal affirmations. Or, give her a special “Mommy to be” gift by setting aside a time where she can focus on herself rather than the upcoming changes that you’ll both be facing.

In the grand scheme of things, gestation really doesn’t last that long, but it can be life altering, even if some of the situations we encounter are temporary. God honored us by giving us charge over our unborn children, so remember to treat yourself like the privileged vessel that you are.

Happy 1st Anniversary, Monogabliss!

This time last year, I was beginning my new journey on this new blog!  I am so excited that God helped me continue the ministry He started on Christian Nymphos.   It has been a joy to work through a tough first year of settling in on my own writings while trying to help keep the name of Christian Nymphos out there as a source for all married women who have questions about God’s intention for sex in marriage.

In this next year, may God continue to bless this ministry and help me to continue to help you in any way that He feels that myself and my readers need.   Thank you, my faithful readers, for continuing to follow me and recommend my blog to your friends!
~Spicy~

Real Marriage: Sex – God, Gross or Gift?

Now, we’re entering chapter 6 in the Driscolls book.   We all know that the bible defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman wed in holy matrimony.   He intended it to be for good, and He called man and woman both VERY GOOD.    So how in the world did we get to the point where sex is misused and misinterpreted like it is today?

It’s spelled S-I-N.

Okay, let’s talk about the three topics of this chapter…. first Sex as god.  Mark gives an example of a man he counseled.   It is so important as we raise our children that we help them to realize there is NOTHING that they should treasure more than God.  The first commandment tells us that there is to worship God alone.  Wealth, prestige and even sex can be put on such a high pedestal, that we forget all about God.   Idolatry.  It’s when a good thing becomes a god thing.  In today’s world, pornography is a $90 billion idol per year worldwide, and $13 billion is in the US.  Porn is addictive.   Prostitution…. it’s hard for me to fathom selling my body for sex, but it happens to a lot of women daily.  If you view sex as a god, then you and your marriage are in grave danger.  There is no freedom, comfort , joy or pleasure on this path, it only leads to destruction.

Sex as gross…. really?  This is kind of the antitheses of sex as a god….it’s like a necessary evil.   Procreation…that’s the sin I fell into in the early years of my marriage.   Unfortunately, a lot of this train of thought comes through misteaching by the church.  Speaking of how evil sex is, but never fully explaining that once in a marriage covenant, sex is a beautiful gift from God.   Also, unfortunately, people who have been sexually abused or molested have the wrong view of sex since they were violated.    I think part of my problem in early marriage revolved around that.  I had a relative that took great pleasure in finding “alone times” with me to fondle my breasts when I was a teenager.   While I was never raped or molested by him, I found what he did repulsive, and I carried that into my marriage.     Thanks be to God for the healing he gave me on this issue.

Sex is a gift.  The bible tells us that married sex is approved by God.  I think of it like God’s wedding gift to you.   One of the most precious gifts that will last a lifetime…unlike that banana holder you got!   Sex is a powerful gift and has 6 benefits…. pleasure, creating children, oneness with your spouse, knowledge of your spouse, protection against sexual sin, and comfort.    I can attest to all 6 of those, and those are gifts I cherish and treasure.

So what are your thoughts?  When you went into your marriage, was sex a god?  was it gross?  or was it a gift?

~Spicy

 

The New Baby and Sex

The more I read this title, the more I think it’s an oxymoron. New baby? Sex? What, are you nuts lady?

To tell you the honest truth, there is one sex drive that doesn’t go away after the baby is born….his. I learned this the hard way after my son was born.

We were very apprehensive when we read the pregnancy test. We had only been married 5 months, and we were pregnant! That wasn’t what we planned (even though we sure had lots of fun getting there!) So here we were, newlyweds, still in the process of getting used to things as a newly married couple.

Fast forward 8 months and our healthy, screaming baby was born. He was the apple of my eye. I think from that point on, something changed in me. I was a Mommy. I was someone’s Mommy. Satan took that precious moment when I gazed into my son’s eyes and he stopped crying at the sound of my voice, and he planted the worst possible lie into my unsuspecting head. Satan whispered to me, “Mommies don’t have sex.”

As I adjusted to the first days of my precious baby being home, the middle of the night feedings, diaper changes, the tiredness, my body feeling really awful from the 4th degree episiotomy, the raging hormones….there was no way I was even thinking about sex…until that 6 week postpartum appointment when the doctor cleared me for sexual intercourse. What? Hadn’t he heard? Mommies don’t have sex!

My poor husband. I don’t think I can possibly imagine the hurt, pain and frustration that he went through for the next 9 years. Yes, I said 9 years. Until after the birth of my second baby and then some. What happened? I fell for the oldest lie in the book. Mommies don’t have sex. Satan was on a euphoric high every time he looked in on us. “She really believes it! Look at how it is destroying them!!”

Instead of rehashing my life story, let me give you Mommies a bit of advice. You are still a sexual being. You may not feel like it at first, and that is understandable. Babies take a lot of time and energy, but PLEASE don’t forget the man you love. Here are a few tips and suggestions.

1. Please be open and communicate with your husband your feelings and your needs, and be receptive to his feelings and needs as well. He may believe that now that the baby is born, your sex drive will match his. Communication is very important here.

2. Daddies, please be sure to be very involved with helping your wife with the baby.
Help out around the house. This can be a serious turn on for new mommies…..

3. Mommies, take the time when you don’t *feel* like having sexual intercourse to satisfy your husband in some other way. Treat him to some manual stimulation or oral sex. If you aren’t feeling up to that, then give him permission to release himself via masturbation.

4. Oh, and guys, snuggling, hugging, cuddling….all those things are A-OK.

The Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:5 ” 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

It takes time, patience, communication and understanding to return to a normal, intimate, loving partnership after your first baby is born. Keep those lines of communication open and get help from your doctor if hormones and depression are getting in the way of your recovery. Mostly, remember what drew the two of you together in the first place. That beautiful baby you are holding was a beautiful creation through the beautiful coming together of a loving married couple. God blessed you with a child, but he still wants to bless you, your marriage and your marriage bed with the most intimate gift that only God could give you and bless you with.

POTW: Spoons

This weeks featured sex position is “Spoons”… and I’m not talking about the popular card game that some of us play at family get together’s!  But, I guess if you want to play that game in bed, then go for it!  Instead, let’s focus on the sex position.

  • You lie on your side.
  • Your husband lies behind you, mimicking your body position.

Now, you are spooning.  When we spoon with our spouse, there is nothing that can get in between us, which makes this position quite intimate.  Your husband may choose to put his bottom arm (the arm on the bed) underneath your neck, so that he can reach around and caress your body.  His top arm is free also, so he can navigate his way over your curves and it’s an opportune time for him to stimulate your clitoris manually.  This position also gives him direct access to your neck, back and ears if you like it when he gets these sometimes neglected areas.  And he can directly whisper sweet nothings into your ear!  And let’s not forget your toosh!  Your husband will have unbridled access to your behind.

So, what can you do?  Both of your arms and hands are free so you will be able to assist your husband.  Perhaps you can put your hands on top of his so you can follow his movements as he travels around your body.  And you can always take matters into your own hands and stimulate your breasts and clitoris.  You will be able to kiss, but you will have to break the position slightly to crane your neck so you can meet his lips.  You can also use your top arm to reach behind you and grab hold to anything that you can, like his penis, his back or the back of his head.

When both of you are ready, remain in this position and have your husband enter you from behind.

I’ll leave you with the song that always runs through my head when I think of this position.

By the light, of the silvery moon,I want to spoon,To my honey I’ll croon love’s tune.Honey moon, keep a-shinin’ in June.Your silv’ry beams will bring love’s dreams,We’ll be cuddlin’ soon,By the silvery moon.

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