Real Marriage: Sex – God, Gross or Gift?

Now, we’re entering chapter 6 in the Driscolls book.   We all know that the bible defines marriage as a union between one man and one woman wed in holy matrimony.   He intended it to be for good, and He called man and woman both VERY GOOD.    So how in the world did we get to the point where sex is misused and misinterpreted like it is today?

It’s spelled S-I-N.

Okay, let’s talk about the three topics of this chapter…. first Sex as god.  Mark gives an example of a man he counseled.   It is so important as we raise our children that we help them to realize there is NOTHING that they should treasure more than God.  The first commandment tells us that there is to worship God alone.  Wealth, prestige and even sex can be put on such a high pedestal, that we forget all about God.   Idolatry.  It’s when a good thing becomes a god thing.  In today’s world, pornography is a $90 billion idol per year worldwide, and $13 billion is in the US.  Porn is addictive.   Prostitution…. it’s hard for me to fathom selling my body for sex, but it happens to a lot of women daily.  If you view sex as a god, then you and your marriage are in grave danger.  There is no freedom, comfort , joy or pleasure on this path, it only leads to destruction.

Sex as gross…. really?  This is kind of the antitheses of sex as a god….it’s like a necessary evil.   Procreation…that’s the sin I fell into in the early years of my marriage.   Unfortunately, a lot of this train of thought comes through misteaching by the church.  Speaking of how evil sex is, but never fully explaining that once in a marriage covenant, sex is a beautiful gift from God.   Also, unfortunately, people who have been sexually abused or molested have the wrong view of sex since they were violated.    I think part of my problem in early marriage revolved around that.  I had a relative that took great pleasure in finding “alone times” with me to fondle my breasts when I was a teenager.   While I was never raped or molested by him, I found what he did repulsive, and I carried that into my marriage.     Thanks be to God for the healing he gave me on this issue.

Sex is a gift.  The bible tells us that married sex is approved by God.  I think of it like God’s wedding gift to you.   One of the most precious gifts that will last a lifetime…unlike that banana holder you got!   Sex is a powerful gift and has 6 benefits…. pleasure, creating children, oneness with your spouse, knowledge of your spouse, protection against sexual sin, and comfort.    I can attest to all 6 of those, and those are gifts I cherish and treasure.

So what are your thoughts?  When you went into your marriage, was sex a god?  was it gross?  or was it a gift?



One thought on “Real Marriage: Sex – God, Gross or Gift?

  1. First of all, if you are being fondled unwillingly, that is indeed molestation. It may not be rape, but it is molestation. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
    I think when I got married, I viewed sex as a gift, but over time became disillusioned with that gift. My body wasn’t responding the way it was “supposed to” and honestly I was clueless to the fact that I was supposed to be doing more than just lay there. Now that I’ve gotten things squared away, I need to make sure I’m not making sex a god, as I find I’m trying to make up for lost time 🙂

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