Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

Today’s topic, I know, is your favorite…. Submission!
We just covered this topic in my Bible study class, and it’s the next chapter for women only in the Driscoll’s book.   Grace leads us through this sometimes controversial and more than likely misunderstood topic of the bible.

So, first let me ask….how do you define submission?  Do you feel that submission enslaves you to your husband?  Do you feel that submission means that you have no say in your marriage?   Are you to obey your husband no matter what?
These are things I hear that people believe the word submission means.   In the bible, the key verses that are used to generate those questions in Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.”  What happens is this is what is read…. “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands…” and red flags go flying.  Why do I have to submit to him?    What is he supposed to do?  ooooo, I’m skipping to verse 25, since I see the word HUSBAND there…. “Love your wife…”, that’s it?  I have to do whatever he says???

Okay, so let’s take a chill pill for a minute.   Finish verse 22… “as you do to the Lord.”  Do you submit to the Lord?  Or do you do your own thing?  I’d like to suggest this to you… go back one verse.  “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”  So according to this verse, he has to submit to you as much as you have to submit to him.

Let’s put a definition on this…. submission.   It doesn’t mean slavery.  It doesn’t mean you become a doormat to everything he does.   Submission doesn’t mean you have to obey his every command.  Submission is respect.   Wives, respect your husband as you respect the Lord.    I know I respect and revere the Lord very much, so as much as I love the Lord and show Him respect in all I do for him, I should do the same for my husband.  Submission is also a choice.  You can choose to respect him… you can choose not to respect him.  It is a voluntary cooperation to support and complement him.  For us wives, it means that we should devote ourselves to complementing our husbands.  We are to help our husbands.   Isn’t that why we came from the man’s rib?  Not his head, not his foot, not his back, but his side.  Submission is not only directed to women…. we are all called to submit ourselves to God and one another.

Here’s the main thing I brought out of my bible study this past week about submission.  This is from Tom Constable, ThD from Dallas Theological Seminary:

1.  It begins with an attitude of entrusting oneself to God .  Our life focus MUST be on Jesus Christ.

2.  It requires respectful behavior (1 Peter 3:1-2 –Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. )

3. It involves the development of Godly character (1Peter 3:3-5 –Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, )

4.  It includes doing what is right (1Peter 3:6 – like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.) It does not include violating other Scriptural principles.

There is so much more I can add, but this post would be a mile long…later on in my comment section, I will reveal some more things I learned about it in my bible study class.

Ladies, what does submission mean to you?   What were you taught about submission by family or the church?  Does it line up with what God calls us to do?

Previous article I’ve done on this topic….

One more


One thought on “Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

  1. If marriage is a picture of how Christ loves the church…

    …a husband must be truly willing to lay down his life for his wife (as Christ did). Then submission would be a mere word. No one would contend over its battle lines because the battle has been won. It’s over.

    Sometimes I simplify too much, but practically speaking this is how I live out submission: “my husband gets the final say.”

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