Mixed signals: Body language

I went to a training recently for my work.  It was a session on how to communicate difficult information to parents in child care.   One of the things the presenter talked about was ways that we communicate to others.

Over 60% of how we communicate is through our body language.   Only about 7-10% of what you actually say comes out of your mouth.  Your body language can really tell more of the truth of how you really feel, when what you are saying doesn’t match how you look to your spouse.

I found an article here that gives some scenarios about what your body language says about your marriage.  I want to give a few examples from this article

1 – your kiss:  are your lips soft and does your kiss linger o few seconds longer OR are your lips hard and closed?

2- making love:  do you make eye contact and do you use your body to express your pleasure OR are you stiff, rigid and tense?

3 – walking together:  do you walk together stride for stride OR does one spouse walk way in front of the other?

Especially important is your body language during a disagreement.  Are you making eye contact with each other?  Your body proximity – is one spouse in a more domineering position when talking?  Are your shoulders square with each other or is one body open like you don’t want to hang around to talk?

Way back in the first 11 years of my marriage, my body language told my husband more than my words.   He would touch me, and I would jump.  In bed, I was still as a board and unresponsive.   Yes, I would tell him I loved him, but I didn’t show him.  He fed off my body language and not off my words because my body language was telling him how I really felt at that moment.  Hopefully in the last 6 years, I have gotten better about my body language and I hope that he does feel more loved than in the past.  Thank God for a forgiving and loving hubby!

So what kind of body language has your hubby experienced from you?  The good, the bad and the ugly.   What advice can you give about using your body language to convey more positive messages to your husband?


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