I had an email come in recently (and thank you all for being PATIENT with my slowness for answering emails. I am going through a really hard, emotional and stressful period of my life. Satan is trying to get me down, but I continue to look to the cross for my hope!) It was from a woman who has a high drive and her hubby’s does not. She has to be the initiator in her marriage bed, but sometimes it is upsetting to her and it makes her feel he doesn’t desire her. He has no problems “performing” (his word), and she has tried a lot of things. She is wondering if there are other readers going through this issue and what you can tell her to encourage her.
I will be honest here. I am not the pursuer in my marriage. My hubby is. I try my hardest to make him feel wanted, but I know I fall short more often than I hit the mark. I know through numerous conversations with him, that it really makes him feel wanted when I initiate sex, but I am one that needs to be “warmed up” before I really start to get in the mood. I really don’t fantasize. There are times of the day that I won’t even let myself go there (esp. when I am at work) I am not very creative in bed, but I do know what positions that he gets the ultimate pleasure in, so when I know there will be no fireworks for me that day, I get into a position I know he loves, so I can bless him.
So, that leaves it to you, my dear readers. Anyone else here in the same boat? What suggestions to you have for the low drive spouse to help make the high drive spouse feel desired? What has worked for you?