I was reading on another blog just the other day and found this to be a really good read.
Getting over the Jealousy of Your Husband’s Sexual Past
When Mr. Nutmeg and I got married….actually back up … when we started DATING, I confessed my sexual past to him before we even starting seriously dating. I wanted him to know what he was getting into with me before he ever fell hard in love with me. (Well, by that time I think it was too late…. he already fell hard the first day we met!) I was ashamed of my sexual past, but it was a part of me that I didn’t want to keep from him. That night, he confessed his, too, and we both talked about how it didn’t matter.
The thought came across my mind…. how much do I really want to know? I say it doesn’t matter, but will it really matter some day if we get married? Later it became “After we get married, will I really still not care? When he asks for a certain position, will I wonder if *she* did that for him and that’s why he is asking? Did *she* do it better? ”
My answer now as a seasoned married woman of over 17 years is “leave the past in the past” All of these questions will only give Satan a foothold on your marriage bed. With me, it wasn’t his sexual past, but my own that let Satan in. My DH is awesome. He forgave me for my past while we were still DATING. He has never once gone back and asked me questions or details about past lovers before him. He understands the true meaning of forgiveness. Once forgiven, you don’t dwell on it anymore. I forgave him as well for not waiting for me, but I never forgave myself.
Dear friends, your past is just that…. in the past. So is his. The one thing that I tell myself over and over again when Satan tries to throw a doubt into my mind “He didn’t marry HER, he married ME.” I am the woman who he turns to for his (actually our) sexual pleasure. I am the one he enjoys intercourse with. I am the one he enjoys rear entry with…. I am the one he wants oral sex from. I am the vision inside his mind that gives him extreme desire and that firm erection. I am the one he daydreams about all day…. When you and your husband became one flesh, you became a new creation. Whether your DH had former sexual partners, was divorced or even widowed, YOU are a new creation with HIM.
I know it’s not easy. Here are a few verses for you to remember, though….
2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore if anyone is in Christ,]he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come”
2 Corinthians 10:5 “We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ…,”
Mark 10: 6-9 But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and motherand the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
You and your husband are a new creation. You are one. Please do not let the evil one tempt you to think on such things.