Hi, I have a question about women experiencing orgasms during their sleep. I’ve had this happen to me a few times (without any sort of sexual stimulation) in the past 2 years since my marriage, and I’ve found it to be quite wonderful! Whenever I tell my husband, he’s been very supportive (though he does pretend to be jealous :P). I’ve read that it is perfectly normal for women to experience this. I’m just wondering if it is considered “ok” for Christian women to experience this, without feeling guilty? I would love to hear more thoughts on this!
This is a great question! It came from one of our readers “Got Questions” submission. I don’t experience this very often, but I have experienced this.
What is a nocturnal orgasm? A nocturnal orgasm is sexual arousal during sleep that awakens one to perceive the experience of orgasm. Nocturnal orgasms usually don’t involve any physical stimulation (masturbation of any kind), and are usually associated with your biggest sex organ….your brain. Something in your brain has been stimulated enough that muscles contract, and your genitals are not excluded from these contractions. The dreams or thoughts do not have to be sexual in nature.
Her main question is, “is this okay for Christian women to experience this without guilt?” That questions is actually twofold.
My first answer is no…. if there is someone else in your dreams or subconscious that is fueling this desire in you. Recently, my family went to see The Avengers at the theater. Sat in the front row of the Movie Studio Grill since we didn’t get there with much time, so that’s all that was left! The subwoofers in front of me rattled me the whole movie. After the movie, I commented how I thought that Thor (Chris Hemsworth) was really cute to my daughter…. to which both my son and daughter were like MOM!!! I assured them that their Dad was my true Thor and ultimate attraction, but I could think someone else was good looking! Now, if I had a dream that night and fantasized about Thor and it led me to have an orgasm, well then yes, I just sinned. Lusting for another man, whether in real life or in my imagination… that is sin. The only man I should lust after would be my very own dashing, loving husband….
My second answer is yes… if your desire in your dream is your husband. Sometimes we have dreams or fantasies in our dreams that we wish would happen in real life. If you are in the middle of a really hot dream with your spouse as your leading man, it is very easy to get your brain so worked up, so stimulated, that your genitals start swelling and you start having uterine contractions and you orgasm.
Now, from articles and research I have read, sometimes your dreams or thoughts do not have to be sexual in nature in order to have nocturnal orgasms. Sometimes your brain can be so stimulated or over-stimulated from your days activities, it can cause this in your subconscious as a need for release.
What are your feelings on nocturnal orgasms? Have you had them before? Are they frequent or infrequent? How would you answer this question if a sister in Christ asked you this very same question?
Over the years, I’ve experienced nocturnal orgasms maybe once every 3 years. After reading this post, last night I woke up having one! The problem was, once I knew what was going on, I started feeling guilty. I wasn’t dreaming of another man – I can’t even remember WHAT I was dreaming. But now, after this post, I feel guilty.
My feelings on this question are that sometimes our bodies have an autonomic response in our sleep that we are NOT necessarily responsible for. (speaking as a psychologist here) Sometimes we dream of something we’d like to happen. Sometimes we dream about something we’re trying to resolve, and come up with a solution in our sleep. SOMEtimes, we just have dreams – no sin intended, so stop making me feel guilty (please). 🙂
I can’t make you feel guilty! LOL.
The point of this article is to start a discussion on it. Looks like we’ve done that! Are you a psychologist? I love reading your point of view on it….so don’t feel guilty!
Yes, I am a psychologist, AND a Christian, which makes this so interesting! (sorry I haven’t answered this before now – I didn’t realize you had responded). But, of course, I’ve now had aNOTHer nocturnal orgasm – if I just relax & enjoy the moment, it makes life much more fun 🙂
This is a frequent occurrence for me (about 3 or 4 times a month, I’d guess) I have my suspicions why it’s so regular, but that’s neither here nor there. I have to disagree that dreaming about someone other than your spouse is a sin in and of itself. We can’t control our subconscious mind, and in fact, if you believe in spirits as I do (and probably most people in this forum), it isn’t unreasonable to think sometimes those thoughts are deliberately placed in our minds while we sleep (and when we’re awake!). Indeed, Satan knows our weaknesses and will try to exploit them however he can. Just having a bad thought pop into our mind isn’t a sin. It what we do with that bad thought, imo. I do think it becomes a sin when we dwell on it in our waking moments, reliving and recreating it. Most of the time when I dream about someone other than my hubby, it is a faceless person (not literally faceless, but someone entirely made up by my mind). I’m not lusting after someone, but my body is doing what it has to to take care of itself when it’s not being taken care of in other ways. That’s just my two cents on the subject though.