Here is an email we recently received:
My wife and I are newly weds and both have a large sexual appetite as well as being rather liberal which is why we love your site so much. We however don’t see the problem with having same room sex with other couples. In other words we have sex with our spouse but in the same room as other married couples doing the same. There is never any touching and my wife and I do not lust after the other couples. It simply heightens our pleasure and love to one another. What are other users thoughts on this?
I’ll let others chime in with their own comments at the end of this article, but for now, I’ll tell you what my thoughts are on this.
Hebrews 13:4 (NIV)
4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
God commands us to honor the marriage bed between a husband and wife, and keep it pure. Inviting other people into your bedroom is not keeping it pure. It doesn’t matter that you aren’t physically touching these other people. Any time you are watching other people have sex, either in person, on tv, or even in your own mind… that is inviting others to become a part of your marriage bed, and that is immoral.
Engaging in this type of activity will also make it easier in the future, for you both to wonder about other things, such as swapping, having a “swinging” or “open” marriage, and group sex. All of those are sinful activities. It doesn’t matter if you both are consenting.
You said: “It simply heightens our pleasure and love to one another.” I do not understand this statement at all. How can watching other people have sex heighten the love that you feel for your spouse? That makes absolutely no sense to me. I can see how it would arouse you and make you horny, but that has nothing to do with the love you feel for your spouse.
My husband loves me and cherishes me. He does not want any other man to see my nakedness. My body is for him alone and his body is for me. If he wanted us to have sex in rooms with other couples having sex, it would make me feel cheap and degraded. It would make me wonder why I alone wasn’t good enough for him.
I would ask you both to really think about why you are doing this. You say you aren’t lusting, so then what is the point in doing this at all? Why the need to have others share in what should be the most intimate, loving, and private act between a husband and wife?
These are my thoughts on this issue, and I encourage anyone who wants to contribute to this discussion to leave your comments in the box below.
original comments can be viewed here
I agree with cumingirl. People are opening the door to a lot of things having sex with others in the room. Even if you are not affected, you should follow the Biblical advice – “Let she who thinks she stand, take heed lest she fall”. Plus you are trusting all the others in the room. That is playing with dynamite. There are enough Christians going around trying to attract others to themselves. This seems to be the last thing one would need. That said, I think there is excitement in what would be more risky behavior than being locked in our bedrooms. The post about having two orgasms under his coat in the movies was like that. Great idea! Perhaps another idea if you want spice without tempting others – and this is if you live on one of the coasts as we do. Next time going for a walk on the boardwalk or piers, wear some lo-boy jeans (or short shorts if you are OK with that but it works either way) with a thong with some substance on the back part. Resist the temptation to let your thong show above the waist – I know it feels very sexy for people to know you have one on, but it falls in the same category as the liberal questioner’s activity. Instead, when near a pier you can walk out on, excuse yourself to go in the ladies room and insert a plug back there (gotta make sure you are carrying one!) Walk with your DH (carefully) out on the pier to the end and turn around with your back to the ocean and no one able to see. If your DH is slow to take advantage of opportunity, encourage him to slip his fingers under your jeans or shorts and wrap his fingers around your thong and pull up real hard in rhythmic motions. You will love it and he will love it and no one will be the wiser. Yet you are in a public place and the thrill of that will be there. Just kiss him like a crazy teen while he is doing it. Be sure all is totally tucked in before walking back to the boardwalk. A variation if he is wider than you are is to lift your top so your bare breasts are against him – best if he is in swim trunks and no top! Be sure his arms are around you to maintain your secret. Maybe others have ideas on how to have some thrills without publicly uncovering one’s nakedness.