This is a topic that I have found a great variety of preferences on. For the most part, I think that couples prefer not to use the same words in bed that they use with their doctors, but where they draw the line in what sort of language they will use is a very personal choice which can be influenced by a variety of things. For some, hearing an expletive in bed reminds them too much of a culture they are trying to be separate from. For others, using passionate, descriptive language is a key to intense arousal.

Please understand that I am a person who very rarely cusses and many of my friends would be shocked to know the words I like using in bed. In my bed, no word is off limits because my husband and I have built our relationship on trust and respect so when my husband tells me exactly what he thinks and feels sexually, using any words at all to describe it, there is absolutely no hesitation on my part. Because I know my husband loves me and isn’t saying it with any disrespect in his heart, I find dirty talk to be erotic. We don’t use these words out of context so there is no confusion. If we walked around telling people to f-off or calling people derogatory names based on different body parts I probably would feel differently, but since we use these words in their context and only in our bedroom I have found them to be a wonderful spice to incorporate.

If you want to start using dirty words and haven’t yet, start with something slightly more edgy than you usually say and see how it feels. If you are normally quiet during sex, start saying some of the things you are thinking and what you want your husband to do to you. If you normally say “Do you want to make love tonight?” try “I am so hot for you right now, I really want you in me.” Not every word will feel right all the time, but variety is the spice of life. Start small and see what the two of you end up liking. Everyone has different limits on what they are comfortable hearing and saying in bed so just try it out and see how it works for you as a couple.

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