About two years ago I realized something. As I am approaching orgasm I have a tendency to hold my breath. I never planned to. I never made a conscious decision to do it. I assume I’ve done it for years and just never realized it. After I came to this realization, I started paying more attention to my breathing patterns during sex.

Breathing patterns are different for everyone. I’ve heard some people talk about how the best orgasms are those that you breathe deeply through. I did a little research, and there are SO MANY different breathing techniques out there. I tried deep breathing and it just didn’t work for me.

Most of the sources that I’ve read have talked about deep belly breathing. (You former band students know what I’m talking about here.) Many people breathe mostly using their chests. But when you are breathing correctly, it is your tummy that should rise and fall, not your chest. Lie on your bed or sofa and place a book on your belly. Take a slow, deep breath in, to a count of 4 or 5. The book should rise. Then exhale slowly and watch the book fall. This is deep breathing. People into yoga or meditation also do deep breathing exercises. It can help to regulate your heart rate and relieve stress. I’ve also heard it said that men who practice this type of deep breathing have better ejaculatory control, partly due to being more relaxed. Here is an interesting read on how deep breathing exercises can help with premature ejaculation issues.

So this deep breathing is supposed to be erotic during sex. It is supposed to help your body experience all the full feelings of pleasure. It can also help extend your orgasms, or so I’ve heard. The problem for me is that the opposite seems to be true. As my pleasure builds, I find myself holding my breath. It adds…something…to it and many times is what pushes me over the top. I find that holding my breath as orgasm approaches helps to quiet everything in my head, and allows me to focus solely on the pleasure sensations that are building. It works for me.

So I guess we are all different in our breathing patterns during sex. I’m going to try and see if I can experiment some more on deep breathing during my intimate times. It’s very hard for me to change how I normally do things, but I am curious to know if it would indeed feel any different? If I have any major breakthroughs I’ll be sure to come back here and update this blog. In the mean time, I’d love to know if there are any other “breath holders” out there besides me?

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