I am wondering if it is possible to learn to orgasm in new ways? I know it’s possible, but any ideas on how? I’d love to be able to just with his hands/fingers so that way if we are somewhere not so secluded I still could. I’ve read from others how they have, but except for a couple positions I tend to not get aroused. It is exciting and almost euphoric but why wasn’t there more? I know this is wrong that I even know this, but as a teen it would have drove me crazy! I am only 34…….it surely can’t be my age, can it?
I think that many of us have our “safe positions” that allow us to achieve orgasm. When we try to stretch our boundaries we almost need to rewire our brain. When you are home try to reach orgasm without using a toy so that you can try to ‘train’ your body to respond to touch. Frustration can be a real mood killer so if you start to feel frustrated then use that safe position or a toy to bring you to orgasm. If you are trying to be intimate in a new setting, such as outdoors, it really takes some focusing on relaxation and shutting out other stimuli. If you are comfortable touching yourself then I recommend you taking the reigns those first few times. Either use your own fingers so your husband can see what feels good or put your hand over his and guide them. Try having your husband whisper exactly what he plans to do to you to keep things simmering.
Just like everything else, practice makes perfect. The article called ‘Clitoral Stimulation’ lists some ideas for you or your husband to use for arousal. Much of what we do in regards to sex is trial and error. The more you do it the better you be at sensing what arouses you. Keep in mind that the types of orgasms you have may vary depending on where you are in your cycle. I do not think it is an age related issue. From what I hear things will get better with age because you know what makes you tick. Just think how much better you will know your body 5 years from now!!
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if we believe that orgasm is the peak of sexual excitement and sex is between a man and woman, these reasons carries a question mark.mastubation to obtain orgasm for any reason other than in relation to sexual relation with the man(aiming at satisfactory love making and actual love making)
appears immoral and reflects the tendencies in lesbains.
This is not true.
Masturbation in itself is not immoral….a person’s reason for masturbating CAN be immoral. If it is, as you say, for anything other than pleasure with your spouse, then yes, it can be sinful. If one chooses to masturbate in order to AVOID sex with their spouse and for their own gratification, yes it is a sin. If they masturbate to pictures of hot sexy men in a magazine or on tv, it is a sin. It is not limited only to lesbianism. There are some women who cannot orgasm, and using masturbation as a tool to help figure out what to tell their husband’s to do to help them climax, is perfectly moral. Sex is intended to be enjoyable….if I know my body well enough, I can communicate that to my husband during intercourse. Read God’s word…. this blog is intended for married women, to help them to be able to enjoy the gift God has given them, not to shame them for what they are trying to do by projecting your beliefs on them.
If that’s true, then how do you suggest a military wife to keep those sparks alive between her and her husband when he’s deployed for several months and there is no way for her to achieve an orgasm, let alone the two of them engage in sex?
Reason I threw out that specific scenario is because I am a military wife and my husband and I both use self-stimulation when we’re away from each other. I understand your views on masturbation may very well differ from mine, and that’s okay. I’m just explaining the reason behind why my husband and I engage in it with no guilt attached. There is a strong level of trust between us, and for me, achieving an orgasm with my vibrator only makes me long more for his presence, because, let’s be honest here. An orgasm at the end of a vibrator is nice, but it’s no replacement for being in my husband’s arms and looking in his eyes during the act.