Throwback Thursdays: Not in the Mood for Love?

If you’ve read more than a couple of our posts here on Christian Nymphos, you might think that we are all always on the lookout for sex, ready to pounce on our loving husbands as soon as we see them.

This may be the case for a couple of us (lol), but not all.

As much as I enjoy making love with my husband, there are times when I’m preoccupied, or tired, or busy, or just generally “not in the mood.”

Earlier in our marriage, I would think nothing of giving my husband an excuse, or pretending to be asleep already, or secretly wishing he’d just go masturbate if I wasn’t in the mood for sex. This was what my friends did, this was what the world told me was normal and acceptable. But then I read a book called Intimate Issues. It challenged many of my perceptions of marital intimacy, and specifically it challenged me about ignoring my husband’s needs.

I now understand that I am the only person in the world who has been ordained by God to meet my husband’s sexual needs. My body belongs to him, and his belongs to me. Through the bonds of marriage, our bodies are God’s gift to one another. For this reason, I have a duty to try to fulfill his desires, and he mine.

Now please don’t think that I’m talking about that kind of grim old, “oh-great-just-what-I-need-another-duty” kind of thing. I find that it’s all in how you look at a thing…how you approach it. You can say “I have to do it, so I will” or you can say “I get to do it, so I will.” If we view sex as a gift from God, something really special and good that He’s given us for pleasure as well as procreation…well that’s a different kind of duty, isn’t it?

Intimate Issues (the book that I mentioned above) offers an excellent technique for getting yourself a new attitude about sex on those doldrum days. Start off by saying a silent prayer. Ask the Lord to help you to make love to your husband right now, not just to lay there and “have sex.” Ask Him to help you to make your husband feel desired. Ask Him to help your body to respond. Even as you begin to make love, look deeply at this man whom God has given you. Thank the Lord for him. Thank the Lord that He has given you this special person as your mate in life. Thank the Lord that this man wants to be with you, and that he is able to perform. Thank the Lord that he is doing this or that right now to bring sexual pleasure to you.

And then just relax. Just enjoy the moment. Don’t allow your mind to go back to your “to-do” list or to what is less than perfect about your husband’s technique, or the fact that the dog needs to be fed. Just be right there in that moment with your beloved.

This works for me. I hope that it will work for you. I have seen myself go from bored and uninterested to wildly orgasmic by employing this technique. Ask and you shall receive, ladies, ask and you shall receive.

(I do find it necessary to mention here that I am not talking about times when a woman legitimately needs a night off. There are situations in which sex drives are wildly incompatible and the couple must find a way to balance that. I’m not talking about those cases, but rather the “I just don’t feel like it” moods.)

originally written by Gingermama … original comments can be read here

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