When you are intimate with your husband, are you vocal about it? Are you a screamer? A shouter? Or are you one of the more quiet ones? For me, I guess it depends on my mood, though I really have come to love being loud.
Sometimes I have to be quiet. When it’s the middle of the day and the kids are wide-awake, I know I can’t really let loose. Sometimes that adds to it. Knowing that I can’t be heard. There are also times that I am quiet and don’t realize it. When I’m concentrating really hard on the sensations my body is feeling, I tend to be quieter. Sometimes I’m thinking very specific things in my mind, and in those times I’m not very vocal either. But I really do like making noise. And I’ve come to realize that my husband likes it too!
Moaning and groaning is sometimes involuntary. When you are making out with your husband, and things are feeling good, moaning is a way of giving some positive verbal cues. It says: I’m happy and this feels so good! Groaning during oral sex can heighten the mood as well.
Heavy Breathing is another thing that lets our husbands know that we are feeling fine! My husband can tell when I’m approaching orgasm, just from subtle breathing changes that he detects in me. I don’t even realize that I do it, but he says it’s unmistakable. I think we women would probably notice the same thing in our husbands if we watched for it.
Sexy talk is a wonderful way to raise the passion level. It doesn’t have to be words that you are uncomfortable with, you can just say what you are thinking in your mind: “deeper baby,” “harder,” “oh yes,” “don’t stop!” “Almost there,” “use your finger,” “kiss me,” “ **** me!” “I love you,” “you’re so good,” “do that again,” “you make me feel so good,” “you’re so big,” “you’re so hard,” “take me from behind,” “you’re driving me crazy,” “your tongue feels so good on me,” “you are wonderful,” “keep going,” “let me ride now!” etc. I know that we women think these things in our minds anyway. If you can bring yourself to say them aloud during your intimate times, your husband will probably appreciate it. It will be really good affirmation for him, and his confidence will go up if he knows that he’s pleasing you! Hearing you talk sexy to him will also help his arousal level skyrocket!
If you and your husband are both comfortable using more erotic or “dirty” words in the bedroom, then by all means, let loose! What you two say to each other is between you two and God. It is no one else’s business and it’s not for anyone else to judge. My husband and I use some very playful and erotic terms with each other, and it’s such a turn on. He knows that I like hearing him tell me specifically what he’s going to do to me, and how he’s going to do it. So in turn, I also talk to him using the terms and descriptions that I KNOW turn him on.
Occasionally, when the kids are in bed (or gone) I’ll allow myself to get louder. It’s nice to be able to let out a yell or scream as orgasm hits. What a rush that is! I think it’s exhilarating for our husbands to hear us abandon ourselves like that too. It gives them a sense of accomplishment, knowing that they helped give us such pleasure.
Think about how vocal you are during sex. Are you quiet more times than not? Maybe it’s time to think about spicing things up by moaning and talking more! And you know what? I have found that talking and moaning and trying to turn my husband on with my words also has an effect on me. I like hearing myself talk naughty. My own arousal goes up when I’m vocal. So it’s a win-win situation!
Get vocal ladies, and let your husband KNOW how much you enjoy making love to him!
original comments can be read here
I am quite vocal during our lovemaking and it is really hard on me if we have company or are away from home and I have to be quiet. My husband is just so awesome and by vocalizing my feelings helps me deal with the almost-overwhelming feelings at times. 🙂 God is so good to have given us the wonderful gift of sex!
Spicynutmeg: “I think it’s exhilarating for our husbands to hear us abandon ourselves like that too…Get vocal ladies, and let your husband KNOW how much you enjoy making love to him!”
This is SO TRUE!! My husband LOVES when I’m loud and hates it when I have to be quiet because of the kids being home or family visiting etc. He tells me repeatedly, “the louder the better” LOL (he finds my moaning and groaning in pleasure a real turn on!). And I like being loud too (just letting go, being uninhibited, and letting the intense pleasure I’m feeling “run the show”). Wasn’t always that way. I used to try to keep a “lid on it” and would feel embarrassed afterward if I got too loud. My husband’s praise and encouragement has gotten me over that hump. Orgasms do feel a lot better when you just let yourself go, get caught up in the moment, and make lots of noise. I’ve found it’s exciting for me as well.
And during times when I’ve had to be quiet (not an easy thing for me anymore) I tell my hubby afterward: “Man, that was so hard being quiet…I wanted to scream” LOL We like hotel sex for that. You can be as wild and noisy as you want without a care or worry in the world. : )
One more thing: how many of you use the “F” word in the bedroom?
I would love to be vocal at times but I am always worried that the kids would wake up or the neighbours would hear. Also a bit shy 🙂 even after almost 8 years of marriage…
Talking, moaning, and shouting are all great, but using ” **** me” somehow doesn’t seem in line with not letting filthy communication come out of my mouth. I think we can describe and affirm using words that don’t cross that line. Just can’t imagine the Apostle Peter’s wife saying “**** me”!
If your hubby is quiet, and you can take waxing, wearing a nanokini for him will surely get him talking non-stop!
Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to do this. You have chosen in your marriage to follow this course, awesome! But we still have freedoms in our marriage, and filthy language isn’t forbidden unless you use God’s name in vain, so if others choose to do so, they should by all means do so.
I came across this yesterday we have been working on our relationship with each other & with our Lord and sex was becoming a area of concern as we are normally wild&verbal in the room & I wasn’t sure how it fit… glad to hear we don’t have to change that… my question is how to refer to body parts in a bedroom manner?
I would say if you both agree on which words are okay with both of you, and there isn’t anything that isn’t edifying to both of you (no downgrading of one another), that anything you mutually choose in your bedroom is okay. If there are certain terms that one or the other doesn’t like, then I would not use them.
I’m so glad you asked this question! Personally, I use the word pussy for me and dick or cock for hubby. I also use tits for my boobs. I love these words that are a little “edge-ier” if you know what I mean. I find them VERY SEXY. I don’t find them crude or offensive in any way. And hubby LOVES it when I say them!!! Do you use the word pussy too? I’ve always wondered how many women use that word. Would be great if more women chimed in on this one.
Personally, no, I don’t use that word. My hubby wishes I would. It had too many negative connotations for me growing up. It’s something that I am working through with God, what he feels are appropriate for me to use, and what would be edifying for both my DH and I.
Like I’ve said, just because I don’t use it doesn’t mean it isn’t right for you. If you and your DH are good with it, then by all means feel free to use it. (Actually, it’s non of my business! LOL!!)
Yes!!! We use these words and we both see them acceptable for our room.. we are very explicit it our LM.. I have been holding back since renewing my faith as I didn’t know what was OK as a Christian wife.. I’m comfortable with it just didn’t know if God was..LOL.
Me too, spicymamma! That’s why I’m so glad you asked the question. I like using those words and find them a real turn on but there was a part of me that thought maybe I was being a dirty perv : )
Do you use the “F” word in the bedroom too? Nothing gets me closer to coming faster than telling my hubby to “F*** me” or “F*** my pussy”. And my hubby? Well, let’s just say he goes nuts when I talk like that! LOL
Thanks for responding spicymamma!
Hubby and I use dirty words now ;). Not during the act, per se’, but I guess you can call it a form of foreplay. I used to be real hesitant of using them, but now, he loves hearing me talk dirty.
Please suggest phrases that I can use. My husband and I have been married about 9 months now, and he would like to hear dirty talk in the bedroom. I’ve used the “bad boy” and “naughty boy” phrases, but can’t come up with anything else. I have no experience hearing “dirty talk” in movies or books or anywhere, and don’t want to google it either. So, can y’all please throw out a few phrases that I can use?
Hi bumblebee, I am relatively new to the dirty talk too. I came on here asking the same thing. I have had to start slow. I think I started saying things in emails, like, “I want you in me.” or “I want you so bad.” Those aren’t really “dirty talk” I guess, but for me they were going a bit farther than where we were. And it was easier to try phrases out that way, than while in the act. Also, another lady on here suggested “practicing” saying things while I was alone, so when I was with my husband the phrases wouldn’t feel that weird coming out of my mouth. Then hubby started saying things like, “I want to make you cum.” So I took his lead and have said other times, “Make me cum.” or something like that. And I know he likes me to say things like, “Give it to me hard.” or “do it to me hard.” Maybe you can ask him to get the ball rolling, I know that helps me, if he is the first to say stuff. Or at another time, not during sex, ask him to give you some examples of what he would like. I know these might be on the more tame side, more than dirty, but I hope it helps a bit. Here is a link to the another article on here, with a few other ideas :
I would be more than willing to discuss this topic with you off list if you want. Just let me know and I’ll give you my email address. I understand that SpicyNutmeg has to watch what gets posted here but off list, we can have a open candid conversation without worry. Anyway, I wanted to just throw that out to you. The offers stands.
One that I first threw out in an email to my husband while he was deployed was the phrase “pet the pussy”, and now sometimes we use ass or dick when comes to anatomy. As I said in a different post, you can also use food analogies. Like “I’m in the mood for some Polish sausage” or something along those lines ;). Or sometimes you can say something as simple as “I want you in me”.
Dirty talk doesn’t HAVE to be foul language, but what makes it dirty is that they are things you would never say out loud in public ;).
Honestly, the sky’s the limit when it comes to dirty talk (what I like to call “sexy talk”). It’s simply “being in the moment” and losing all your inhibitions and just enjoying all the pleasure your husband is giving you and letting him know it. The less inhibited you are, the more turned on your hubby will get. And phrases like these combined with a lot of the natural moaning and groaning and WOW!! It’s a great love-making experience for both of us!
Oh, one more thing: I also love when hubby talks to me like this…when he tells me how much he wants me…and what he wants to do to me. I love when he tells me he loves eating me and how good I taste etc. etc. Or when he tells me how good my pussy feels while he’s making love to me etc. Again, it’s all about being lost in the moment, lost in love…and letting that love have its way with you.
I am sorry. I edited out all the phrases. I have to be careful because there are readers out there who all of this talk could cause them to stumble. This is not a private blog, so I do get some very unsavory comments on posts such as these. It is very important that you do what feels comfortable in the bedroom with your spouse, physically and with your words. From this point on, I will not be publishing all the things you (all readers) say with your spouse. What’s said between spouses needs to stay between spouses. Thank you for understanding.
oh I’m sorry! I was just responding to the one post where the lady was asking for examples. I should’ve just kept it more general, instead of saying that my husband and I use those phrases.
I know, and I am terribly sorry to have to do it.
Oops, sorry to cause the confusion. Thanks for the leads, though.