Most of the contributors to this blog will tell you that a point came in their marriage when they suddenly had a revelation of God’s intention for them to have a richer sexual relationship with their husband. The result; a sexual awakening.
For the first several years of my marriage I had a minor interest in sex. It isn’t that I felt I was “putting up with it,” but I just didn’t have a great passion for it most of the time. Although the times my husband and I did have sex it was a pretty good time, we didn’t have sex very often and we had very poor communication about it. Then in the fall of 2006, quite all of a sudden and surprisingly, I had my sexual awakening. My husband didn’t know quite what to do with all of these sudden changes in me and honestly it took some time for us to adjust to it. My husband found the sudden change overwhelming at times. Remember we had poor communication about sex and that didn’t change just because I now wanted him every chance I could. So we have been working through that and trying to improve our communication in general, but also in relation to our intimacy.
“So how did it happen?” I can hear the wives and husbands asking. There were several situational circumstances that caused it, but at the core there were several things that were the key.
First, this revelation came from Jesus. In much the same way that I can not know the love of God unless He chooses to reveal it to me, I could only have had this revelation by His hand. So if you or your wife or husband need to experience a sexual awakening then pray, pray, pray. God promised that if we sought Him with all of our heart we would find him. Read books like Red Hot Monogamy, Intimate Issues and Sheet Music, and study the Song of Solomon in a variety of translations with much prayer. Ask God to show you His view of sex. Why did He create it? What more does He have for you in your marriage bed? Show Him that you are seeking Him with all of your heart.
Second, in this revelation that God had more to bless us with in our marriage bed, was also a revelation of how beautiful I was to my husband. I suddenly realized how much he desired me and I believed him when he told me how beautiful I was to him. I didn’t resent it if he wanted my body because I knew that my soul was part of the package. He wanted all of me. And it was a good thing.
And third, even before my heart believed it, I started behaving as the sexy wife I was starting to understand that I was. I became more responsive to my husband’s touch and started communicating that I wanted him. And soon, my heart started believing it so much so that my sexy heart and my sexy behavior were one and the same. They spurred one another on to deeper and deeper passion until I seriously thought I was going to explode. I remember the one night that I couldn’t sleep because of all my passionate thoughts towards my husband. That was the highest my drive ever was and I can thankfully say that I have never had a night like that again because I seriously need my sleep, but I love that I know that part of me still exists. So my drive may go up and down a bit, but I still continue behaving sexually. I keep thinking sexy thoughts of my husband. I realize that I really can choose how I will think and feel about sex in any given moment.
So if you need and want a sexual awakening, seek God for it and start acting sexy. Let your mind think sexy thoughts. If your husband or wife needs a sexual awakening, the most practical thing you can do the change it is to pray continually for God to change it. He is on your side. He wants your spouse to be free even more than you do. Ask Him to show you how to reach out to your beloved. Ask Him to make you who you need to be in order to be a blessing to your spouse. Do all that He leads you to do.
I bless your marriage bed!
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