Syncing up your sex life

Lately, I’ve been looking online for some new , fresh ideas for blog posts.  I don’t want to be going over to CN weekly for ALL my Tuesday articles, and I was reading some articles from Women’s Day (online) and this one caught my attention.    Here’s our household….

ME:

Night Owl?  Not me.

Morning sex?  Not me.

Right this exact moment?  Not me.

Conservative?  Me, yep

DH:

Night Owl?  Yes.

Morning sex?  Heck yes.

Right this exact moment?  YES!

Spontaneous?  That’s him

Can you see how he and I can be out of sync?  I feel we are all the time.  Besides being a night owl, my DH is also an early bird.  He can go on 4-6 hours of sleep….me, I feel like I need 24 (lol).  I am so ultra conservative.  I don’t like surprises.  I like plans.   He knows I don’t like surprises, but he does it anyway.  Here are some of the ways the article says we can be out of sync with our spouses, and how we can compromise with our spouses to get in sync.

 EARLY ROMANCER v EARLY RISER:  This section of the article was SO US!  When my alarm goes off, I hit snooze once or twice, then I need to get in the shower and GO.  The last thing I want to think about is morning sex.   I guess, in my situation, since I hit snooze 2x (10 minutes), maybe if I set my alarm 2 days a week at least 10-15 minutes early (and include the snooze time), that should be a great boost for my DH to have a romp before I shower and go to work.  But since I am so tired all the time, I would need him to let me go to bed 30 minutes earlier the night before.   I think that’s the compromise I need to work on.

FRISKY DURING FLOW v PUT OFF BY PERIOD:  See, we don’t have a problem with that at all…we just wait for low flow days, but I DO notice a higher urgency in ME the 2nd day of my period, which is my heaviest flow day.  (sorry if TMI)  Their idea of the Diva Cup (or even Instead Cups) is a great idea!  Or if he isn’t into trying that, he (or you) can masturbate yourself (wear a tampon and clean up down there) or if he has the urgent need, but period sex is yuck to him, oral sex for him or breast sex…. Come up with some way that he can relieve his need with you involved in the process.  I wouldn’t masturbate by myself without my DH’s permission….that’s just me.  He likes to be involved or watch.  😉

NIGHT OWL v SLEEPY HEAD:  Okay, he and I are the opposite here….he’s the night owl and I am the sleepy head.   My head hits the pillow and I am out…. I do use this time more often than not for our lovemaking time, though, especially if I can sleep in the next day.   The article even suggests going to bed together earlier….which means skipping Facebook or reading in bed for me.  I’ll have to make better use of this suggestion in my own marriage bed.

 BEFORE THE DISHES v AFTER THE DISHES:  This one doesn’t apply to us.  Dishes don’t get done when they really should around here.   But I can understand how this would be important to some couples….especially if HE does the dishes for you (and that is your turn on!)  Help each other load the dishes in the dishwasher … this can be an erotic event to many!

 MR RIGHT NOW v MRS WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TIME:  This is us.  There are a lot of times (yes, I am admitting this!) that it’s not the perfect time for me…and I need to get better in this area…. Planning on giving me some time to get ready and in the mood.  While I am getting in the mood, a little Journey music helps!  SO DH can pick out some music that can help me get in the mood, too.

THE ADVENTURER v THE CONSERVATIVE:  My DH would be ever so happy if I would get excited about having sex anywhere else but our bedroom.  Some people love  having sex in public places.   The “getting caught” factor freaks me out so much!  But I have jumped out of my comfort zone in places where we were outdoors in private – like a hot tub at a secluded cabin we rented once, but on our vacation to North Myrtle Beach, we also made love on the patio of our upper floor balcony in the condo we stayed at.   He loves the backyard….putting out an air mattress and being under the stars…. All I think of is mosquitoes and our older next door neighbor…. But I have done this with him in the past, too.   I just need to get over my fears and learn to relax….which isn’t easy to do for me at all.

There are some others that the article pointed out that I could go on forever with, but you can read them for yourself.

So are you and your DH synced up for sex?  Or do you have some compromising to do?  What do you do to compromise?

6 thoughts on “Syncing up your sex life

  1. our new year’s resolution was to have a scheduled sex night! that’s how we compromise. he has crazy hours at work, and sometimes when one of us has a day off the other doesnt–feels like we have no time to see eachother let alone to have sex! so saturdays are our official “date nights” 😉

  2. My husband can do the whole stay-up-late-but-still-get-up-early thing. Me? I need at least 8-9 hours of solid sleep and I generally like to lounge in bed after awakening for 15mins to an hour based on my schedule for the day. However, I do like early morning wake-up sex. Something about just waking up turns me on, but my DH is a get-up-and-go person. Usually, if I’m feeling frisky in the morning, I have to let him get up and take care of “his needs” first and sometimes even eat breakfast before luring him back to bed. But to assure I stay in a playful mood, he often gives me a little taste of what’s to come first before “taking care of business” or he massages/kisses me while I’m cooking him breakfast.

    Something I would like him to do is go for more variety vs. our normal routine. Any thoughts? I did like Woman’s Day suggestion on making a list. I might make mention of that to my DH in the near future.

  3. I spent the last couple of days reading the majority of the posts (and comments) on ChristianNymphos. What a blessing your ministry is. I am experiencing a new sexual awakening, as I have after each of my 4 live babies (I also have 2 babies I will meet in heaven)

    I have to say, sex just gets better…..we’ve been married for over 11 years now, and it is better now than ever before.

  4. My DH barely has to do anything to get me in the mood. However, when it comes to morning sex…I like it but it isnt my favorite. I nearly always wake up horny(we joke that I am a man) but having sex in the morning isnt as comfortable as it is at night. I love having like afternoon sex, evening sex, and like sex at like 1-4AM(havent done that in a really long time.) Both me and my husband require enormous amounts of sleep. Even after 9-10 hours of sleep we have trouble getting out of bed. On our days off together we sleep 12+ hours. Its crazy. haha He doesnt have quite the sex drive as I do, in fact, we just came to the realization that he wouldn’t really think about sex ever if I didnt constantly complain I was horny. Which is hard for me because I literally feel like I could have sex all the time. We are working on things, ever since we discovered that he is putting more effort into initiating things.

  5. We’ve been soooo out of sync lately. Ugh. DH likes to stay up late, late (like till 1 am!) playing computer games or watching TV. He says he needs that time to unwind, which I totally respect, but I just physically can’t stay up past about 11pm. My body just calls it quits at that point! Add to that very strangely irregular periods lately. Not that I’m keeping track (OK I am, LOL) but recently we’ve gone as long as 8 weeks without so much as a good cuddle. I’m really enjoying this blog because it gives me some talking points and ideas to maybe get him excited and coax him to bed a little earlier! (Even if he gets up afterward to go watch “Deadliest Catch” until 1 am. LOL)

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