I loved being pregnant. Nothing compares to feeling the baby’s first kick, watching your belly swell, hearing the heartbeat on the monitor, or seeing him/her on the ultrasound. Some people don’t care to have their belly rubbed but I was all for it. “You want to rub my belly? Here you go.” My brother’s wife had a very difficult pregnancy. She lost a bunch of weight, couldn’t keep any food or liquid down and she ended up being hospitalized. She didn’t see how it would be possible to have another baby even though my brother always wanted a slew of kids. It wasn’t guaranteed that she would become sick like that again but what if she did? Her son needed her. She couldn’t care for him if she were to have a similar pregnancy. This is when I had my brainstorm. I loved being pregnant, I’ll be her surrogate!!!!
My husband was not 100% for this plan. He would have to deal with my hormone fall out after the birth of the baby. When people would see his wife pregnant he would need to explain that I was carrying my brother’s baby. Would I be able to let go of the baby after giving birth to it? I tried to ease his mind by addressing his concerns. “But we won’t have a crying baby in our house in the middle of the night so I would be getting my sleep. It wasn’t hormones it was just lack of sleep.” “It’s not like I had sex with my brother! I would just be a house for the baby.” “ Of course I can give it up. It’s not like it’s really ‘my’ baby and I’m not a huge baby person anyway.” As my sister in law and brother were discussing the possibilities I started having irregular bleeding. I went for a bunch of tests and they all came back fine. Obviously this threw a wrench into our possible plans. I couldn’t possible be a surrogate with a wacky cycle happening.
Last week I attended a funeral service for a family member. As everyone paid their respects I looked behind me a spotted and 4 week old baby girl. The baby’s aunt was holding her and the baby started squirming. The aunt, who is just a teen and looking a bit unsure as to what to do, asked my mother if she wanted to hold the baby. My Mom said that she had to talk to some people first but would after that. Then it happened. This aunt made eye contact with me. “Hey Peppermint Girl, want to hold the baby?” I said OK and said a little prayer that the baby would not start screaming while in my arms. This place was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. I took the little bundle in my arms; she looked at me with her gorgeous eyes, grabbed my coat with her tiny figures snuggled into my neck and fell asleep. Now that the baby wasn’t fussing anymore the aunt asked to take her back. Reluctantly I handed her over. That night while laying in bed my husband asked me what I was thinking about. I told him that I was thinking about the baby. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I held her for 15 minutes tops and I still felt empty handing her back. Maybe I was more of a baby person then I thought.
Back when my cycles were irregular we made a decision that me being a surrogate was out of the question. The cycle following that conversation and every one after were fine. No irregular bleeding. I honestly think that God was giving me a message during my irregular time and I didn’t realize it until last week. I don’t think I could have given birth and given the baby away without feeling a tiny bit empty. God has a plan and I guess this wasn’t part of it. Hmmmm, Maybe His plan is for us to have one more of our own!!! Now I need to convince hubby to get a vasectiomy reversal. Do they even make cars that seat 6 kids?
I found this article on One Flesh Marriage. It is, of course, from a man’s point of view, but sometimes for us ladies, it is good to see things through our hubby’s eyes on occasion instead of our own. Now my hubby is not a lingerie kinda guy. He would much rather there be nothing on at all.
I used to purchase lingerie all the time. My train of thought…”it’s sexy and he will really like it”. When he wasn’t really crazy about it, I thought, “oh, I just bought the wrong one.” and would buy a different one. Instead of listening to him say, “I would rather you be naked”, I was hearing what I wanted to hear. Eventually, I stopped buying it because it was a waste of money. That’s when I started listening to him.
Now on a rare occasion, I will pull out a sheer nighty to wear without panties, just because I like the way it feels and the way it makes me feel.
From the first time I saw a sketch performed by Nicole Johnson I found myself in tears of laughter and tears of compassion, often changing from moment to moment. She has this ability to portray her characters in a way that connects women to one another, which is probably why she has ministered so extensively through Women of Faith conferences. She’s remarkable!
Taken from her website:
Like many women across America and around the world, she has faced spirit-crushing challenges in her life: the divorce of her parents, childhood loneliness, and a difficult marriage that ended in a painful divorce. In the midst of these trials, Nicole gathered together the pieces of her pain and formulated a life-changing philosophy: Life’s greatest value can be found in these broken pieces in that, like the grinding of coffee beans, only when the individual pieces are crushed can they come together to create something far more wonderful and potent than any of the pieces could alone.
It reminds me of Jesus’ words, “Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”
Please enjoy a small selection of some of my favorite Nicole Johnson sketches. More can be can be purchased through her website, Fresh Brewed Life.
“The Invisible Woman”
A portion of “Stepping Into the Ring” (Get your tissues! And try to see the full version if you have an opportunity.)
This is a very busy personal month for me. Our son is graduating HS! So you may see that I forget to post something or you may see some reruns from CN this month, so please forgive. Hopefully I will be back in full swing again by June 10th!
In Position #24: Shower Sex, Cinnamonsticks described a position where you are facing your husband. In this sequel, I’ll be talking about a position facing away from your husband. Please note that in this position you will need a very sturdy shower rod.
For this position the couple is in the shower. The wife turns to face the side of the tub and the husband stands behind her facing the same way. The wife lifts one leg and puts it up on the side of the tub, and then reaches up and holds on to the shower rod to keep her stabilized. (This will only work if you have a very sturdy shower rod. If your shower rod is a simple tension rod that can fall easily then please do not attempt this.) The husband is able to enter from behind and hold on to his wife’s hips to help with thrusting while she is holding on (not hanging on, there is a difference) to the shower rod above. You can see a picture of this position on Cosmo by clicking here.
Pros: You get to enjoy making love while having hot water cascading down you both!
Cons: Couples with large height differences may have a problem with this position.
I was married and moved to a foreign (3rd world) country a couple days later. My husband I were having great sex for about two weeks. I had no pain on the honeymoon (we were both virgins). Then I developed a yeast infection. Since the infection, intercourse (just the initial penetration) has been painful.
Will this go away? I’ve read a bit in your site on how vaginismus can be triggered by a yeast infection. If I’ve developed vaginismus, is it permanant? All the cures/remidies seem to involve going to a doctor and I don’t have the option of going to a doctor here, so I thought I’d write for advice. Thanks!
We received this letter from a woman and wanted to share the answer we provided her with in case it is of help to any other women suffering with this.
If you have access to sour cream or plain yogurt in the country you are in you should use it to treat the yeast infection. I advise that you eat it every day and also treat yourself topically with it. I would also be a good idea use it on your husband too so you don’t pass the infection back and forth. You can use it during sex, as well. Just make sure that if you opt to use yogurt that it is plain because the sugars in the flavored ones will not be helpful at all. They will actually increase the likelihood of having poor female health.
So for those who don’t have the limitations that this writer has of living in a third world country and not having access to common treatments available in developed nations, you might find this information helpful if you deal with frequent yeast infections or a particularly bad one. Just a helpful tip.