Sexual temptations can come in many forms. One temptation that can sometimes come up in a marriage is the idea of adding someone else to the mix. I believe that viewing pornography together is one of the things that can put these sinful thoughts into a couple’s head. It looks so enticing on the screen. Everyone looks like they are having the time of their lives.
Threesomes are so common in porn that it kind of normalizes it in your head. You may start thinking “We love each other so much, so it’s okay to just try it once.” “Our marriage is so strong. We can handle this.” “We’ll just get someone that we already know and trust. We’ll be okay.” The truth is that you won’t be okay. Giving in to these thoughts will do permanent damage to your marriage. Look at what God tells us in 1 Corinthians:
1 Corinthians 6:18-19 (NIV)
18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
“FLEE,” He said! God tells us to “Flee from sexual immorality.” To flee means to run away from swiftly. He did not tell us to think about it and weigh the pros and cons. He said to run away from it! There is no compromise. Don’t you think that God knows what is best for us? The couples who do not flee end up in a bad situation.
The wife may secretly wonder…
- Did he enjoy having sex with her more so than with me?
- Does he find her body more appealing than mine?
- Was she ‘tighter’ than me?
- Was he happier with her oral skills instead of mine?
- If he wants to do it again, does that mean that I’m not enough for him?
The husband may secretly wonder…
- Did she like the way he/she moved/thrusted/grinded better than the way I do it?
- He looked slightly larger… I wonder if she found him more satisfying?
- I wonder if she liked his/her oral skills better than mine?
- She was more vocal with him/her…so does that mean she enjoyed it more?
- If she wants to do it again, does that mean that I’m not enough for her?
From that day forward, their marriage will never be the same. Trust issues will come up, especially if the third person was someone they both knew. It will begin to eat away at their marriage bit by bit until their marriage becomes a shell of what it once was. God knew what he was talking about when he told us to FLEE.
1 Thessalonians 4:2-4 (NIV)
2 For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. 3It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable,
We are told to control our own bodies. We have the Holy Spirit living inside of us and we are to keep ourselves holy and honorable. Committing acts of fornication or adultery is not consistent with keeping ourselves honorable. It doesn’t matter that you both consent to it. A threesome has to involve either fornication or adultery, and both are an abomination to God.
Proverbs 6:32 (NIV)
32 But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment;
whoever does so destroys himself.
God’s word is clear on adultery and fornication. Inviting someone else into your marriage bed is sin, plain and simple. What I would tell young couples now is to guard your hearts and your minds. Never say “It won’t happen to me” because it can. Satan is always at work, looking for areas in your life that he can slip in, unnoticed. Cleave to each other and pray together. Know that, as Christians, we have the Holy Spirit living inside us, and we should strive to keep our temples pure and pleasing to God. But also remember that God loves us all. He knows we are human and will be tempted, and He will always be there with open arms, ready to forgive us when we stumble, if we but ask.