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Question about clitoris pain and orgasm

Jul3

I had a question awhile back from a woman regarding orgasm difficulties and clitoral pain as well.  It is my hope in this article to be able to tackle some areas and give some ideas if you, too, suffer from this type of difficulty.

Before you go any further in my article, I suggest you read Cumingirl’s article ”The clitoris” It gives a lot of good information about the clitoris that I will use as reference in this article as well.

The clitoris is one of the most sensitive parts of the female genitalia.When I found the pleasure that could be derived from touching it as a young girl, I also found that there were times when it could become over stimulated and start to feel really odd and even hurt.This is long before I ever knew about lubrication, so much of what I did to stimulate myself was done bone dry.The Discovery Health website says this about the clitoris….” There is a high concentration of nerve endings in the clitoris and in the area immediately surrounding it.The abundance of nerve endings in the clitoris makes it very sensitive to direct or indirect touch or pressure. Stimulation of the clitoral area can be very pleasurable.”BUT what it doesn’t say is it can sometimes be painful, too.

One of the biggest things to realize is that everyone’s clitoris is unique.When aroused, the clitoris swells sometimes to twice its size.Blood flow to that area (like the blood flow to the male penis) causes this swelling.Direct contact to this area can be either pleasurable or painful depending on the type of contact.Too much rubbing directly on the clit can cause it to become desensitized and painful.One of the best things I can recommend to someone who is trying to find the most pleasurable way to stimulate your clit is to experiment with your own finger or a bullet vibe in your own spare time.Find out if your clit is sensitive to direct stimulation or does it feel better when you stimulate around the clitoris (the hood and labia areas).There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing this kind of experimentation.It will help you to later communicate to your husband when something is happening during intercourse that is not working or causing you pain.You need to know your body well down there…what feels good and what doesn’t.Be prepared to talk about what starts to cause pain.During intercourse, you may need to change to another position or maybe add some more external lube to the area.Friction is a big source of pain to that area of your body during intercourse if there is not enough lube.If you use lube during intercourse, it is a good idea to put some on the clitoris as well to keep from rubbing it raw.If you use your own natural fluids, then use a finger to gather some from your vagina and put it on your clit.

But part of the Sister in Christ’s question also included about her inability to orgasm.If you read Cumingirl’s article, women, too can get a “blue balls” kind of feeling with their clitoris when an orgasm isn’t reached.The blood can remain in an engorged clit for several hours as compared to relief in 10 minutes or so with an orgasm!Ouch!If you find that you cannot reach an orgasm or if your husband has already had his release, don’t be afraid to ask him for oral sex or for him to use a vibe on you to release the tension that you still have built up.Your husband may find it extremely erotic to watch you masturbate in front of him to orgasm with your fingers or a vibe.This would be a great time to SHOW HIM what you have learned through your own practice!Show him what area of the clitoris that produces the most pleasure for you.After some study time, your husband will remember how to rock your world, and hopefully be open to volunteering to do this for you in the future.

Our sister, Sugar and Spice documented in her blog “I think I can” ways that helped her to achieve orgasm as well.

I have also read on several websites that clitoral pain can also be caused by vaginal secretions getting under the hood of the clitoris.I know myself that I do at times pull the hood back and use a Q-tip to gently clean away anything that has been trapped under the hood.I use a gentle feminine wash like Summers Eve or Massengil to clean when I shower.

I hope that I have somehow helped you with some suggestions to make intercourse more enjoyable and fun for you!

Separate? Or Mutual?

Jun13

I’m talking orgasms here!

Okay, my husband has taken up the “She comes first” motto every time we make love.  While I appreciate his efforts to make my experience as pleasurable as possible, I still have this dream of us having our orgasms at the same time.

Do I expect it every time?  No.

Would it be nice on occasion?  Yes.

I don’t know what it is about orgasming together that really gets me going.  Honestly, I don’t expect it at all.  I know I’ve dreamed of it in the past, but I realize it takes a lot to get me going, let alone us both at the same time.

Like I said, my husband’s main focus and goal is for my sexual pleasure during love making, which is incredible.  It doesn’t always happen, but it is nice to know that he is interested in making our LM very pleasurable for me.  I just think it would be nice on occasion, it would be incredibly intimate and exhilarating — for him to just let go when he hears my orgasm coming like a freight train….I should ask him if this is just too intimate for him or if I read too many romance novels or watched too many Soap Opera when I was younger or what….

I saw a thread on the Marriage Bed about it, and it seemed like the consensus of people on that thread weren’t really interested in it.  Is it just weird for me to still wish he would do it?  Should I just let it go and pray that just once, he will let go and I get my desire?

Maybe I should make a poll on this one…. lol.  I haven’t made a poll since my old CN days!  How do you feel about this topic?  Is it important to you?  Not important to you?   Great if it happens?  Never happened at all?   Wish it would?

Nocturnal orgasms….are they sinful?

Jun6

Hi, I have a question about women experiencing orgasms during their sleep. I’ve had this happen to me a few times (without any sort of sexual stimulation) in the past 2 years since my marriage, and I’ve found it to be quite wonderful! Whenever I tell my husband, he’s been very supportive (though he does pretend to be jealous :P ). I’ve read that it is perfectly normal for women to experience this. I’m just wondering if it is considered “ok” for Christian women to experience this, without feeling guilty? I would love to hear more thoughts on this!

This is a great question!  It came from one of our readers “Got Questions” submission.  I don’t experience this very often, but I have experienced this.

What is a nocturnal orgasm?  A nocturnal orgasm is sexual arousal during sleep that awakens one to perceive the experience of orgasm.  Nocturnal orgasms usually don’t involve any physical stimulation (masturbation of any kind), and are usually associated with your biggest sex organ….your brain.  Something in your brain has been stimulated enough that muscles contract, and your genitals are not excluded from these contractions.   The dreams or thoughts do not have to be sexual in nature.

Her main question is, “is this okay for Christian women to experience this without guilt?”  That questions is actually twofold.

My first answer is no…. if there is someone else in your dreams or subconscious that is fueling this desire in you.   Recently, my family went to see The Avengers at the theater.  Sat in the front row of the Movie Studio Grill since we didn’t get there with much time, so that’s all that was left!  The subwoofers in front of me rattled me the whole movie.   After the movie, I commented how I thought that Thor (Chris Hemsworth) was really cute to my daughter…. to which both my son and daughter were like MOM!!!  I assured them that their Dad was my true Thor and ultimate attraction, but I could think someone else was good looking!  Now, if I had a dream that night and fantasized about Thor and it led me to have an orgasm, well then yes, I just sinned.   Lusting for another man, whether in real life or in my imagination… that is sin.   The only man I should lust after would be my very own dashing, loving husband….

My second answer is yes… if your desire in your dream is your husband.   Sometimes we have dreams or fantasies in our dreams that we wish would happen in real life.    If you are in the middle of a really hot dream with your spouse as your leading man, it is very easy to get your brain so worked up, so stimulated, that your genitals start swelling and you start having uterine contractions and you orgasm.

Now, from articles and research I have read, sometimes your dreams or thoughts do not have to be sexual in nature in order to have nocturnal orgasms.   Sometimes your brain can be so stimulated or over-stimulated from your days activities, it can cause this in your subconscious as a need for release.

What are your feelings on nocturnal orgasms?  Have you had them before?  Are they frequent or infrequent?  How would you answer this question if a sister in Christ asked you this very same question?