I had a question awhile back from a woman regarding orgasm difficulties and clitoral pain as well. It is my hope in this article to be able to tackle some areas and give some ideas if you, too, suffer from this type of difficulty.
Before you go any further in my article, I suggest you read Cumingirl’s article ”The clitoris” It gives a lot of good information about the clitoris that I will use as reference in this article as well.
The clitoris is one of the most sensitive parts of the female genitalia.When I found the pleasure that could be derived from touching it as a young girl, I also found that there were times when it could become over stimulated and start to feel really odd and even hurt.This is long before I ever knew about lubrication, so much of what I did to stimulate myself was done bone dry.The Discovery Health website says this about the clitoris….” There is a high concentration of nerve endings in the clitoris and in the area immediately surrounding it.The abundance of nerve endings in the clitoris makes it very sensitive to direct or indirect touch or pressure. Stimulation of the clitoral area can be very pleasurable.”BUT what it doesn’t say is it can sometimes be painful, too.
One of the biggest things to realize is that everyone’s clitoris is unique.When aroused, the clitoris swells sometimes to twice its size.Blood flow to that area (like the blood flow to the male penis) causes this swelling.Direct contact to this area can be either pleasurable or painful depending on the type of contact.Too much rubbing directly on the clit can cause it to become desensitized and painful.One of the best things I can recommend to someone who is trying to find the most pleasurable way to stimulate your clit is to experiment with your own finger or a bullet vibe in your own spare time.Find out if your clit is sensitive to direct stimulation or does it feel better when you stimulate around the clitoris (the hood and labia areas).There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing this kind of experimentation.It will help you to later communicate to your husband when something is happening during intercourse that is not working or causing you pain.You need to know your body well down there…what feels good and what doesn’t.Be prepared to talk about what starts to cause pain.During intercourse, you may need to change to another position or maybe add some more external lube to the area.Friction is a big source of pain to that area of your body during intercourse if there is not enough lube.If you use lube during intercourse, it is a good idea to put some on the clitoris as well to keep from rubbing it raw.If you use your own natural fluids, then use a finger to gather some from your vagina and put it on your clit.
But part of the Sister in Christ’s question also included about her inability to orgasm.If you read Cumingirl’s article, women, too can get a “blue balls” kind of feeling with their clitoris when an orgasm isn’t reached.The blood can remain in an engorged clit for several hours as compared to relief in 10 minutes or so with an orgasm!Ouch!If you find that you cannot reach an orgasm or if your husband has already had his release, don’t be afraid to ask him for oral sex or for him to use a vibe on you to release the tension that you still have built up.Your husband may find it extremely erotic to watch you masturbate in front of him to orgasm with your fingers or a vibe.This would be a great time to SHOW HIM what you have learned through your own practice!Show him what area of the clitoris that produces the most pleasure for you.After some study time, your husband will remember how to rock your world, and hopefully be open to volunteering to do this for you in the future.
Our sister, Sugar and Spice documented in her blog “I think I can” ways that helped her to achieve orgasm as well.
I have also read on several websites that clitoral pain can also be caused by vaginal secretions getting under the hood of the clitoris.I know myself that I do at times pull the hood back and use a Q-tip to gently clean away anything that has been trapped under the hood.I use a gentle feminine wash like Summers Eve or Massengil to clean when I shower.
I hope that I have somehow helped you with some suggestions to make intercourse more enjoyable and fun for you!