Okay, well that is according to this article that I recently read, but honestly, it doesn’t surprise me. Men say they want MORE communication! Yes, you read that correctly.
Based on survey results from more than 70,000 respondents, the new book, The Normal Bar, provided a number of surprises. But the most surprising result I read about was when men in unhappy relationships were asked what they want most from their partners that they’re not getting. The authors/researchers expected to find that sex topped the list, but it didn’t make the top two.
Male respondents instead want more and better communication, saying their partners don’t listen to them attentively enough. Coming in second, they wanted more affection. In third place, they said they desired more sex.
Now, honestly, I will have to admit, that I didn’t think #1 was sex, but RESPECT. I know that respect is HUGE for a man. If he doesn’t feel respected, it really hurts him. I know my husband feels that way, but I also know communication can be one of our weak points in our marriage,too at times, so I could see it being an important one as well.
What are your thoughts? If you posed this question to your husband…”What is one thing in our marriage you want MORE of?” what would he say? What do you need more of in your marriage?
I am definitely into reading because I know there are several areas where I am totally weak when it comes to initiation in bed, allowing myself to be sexual, and flirting with the intention of fulfilling his desires. So this article peaked my interest…. 5 Ways to Be Sexually Playful While Clothed . That is MY kind of article!! So after you read the article, let’s talk about it.
The main 5 points are: (1) don’t take offense…. if he does something you aren’t comfortable, teach him what you would like him to do instead! (2) code words … I believe we hit on this in a Monday’s Mission…. (3) become comfortable with sexual joking… I liked hers at the beginning of her article! Great comeback! (4) stop worrying about “what the kids will think”…. and (5) Get courageous with sexual playfulness.
Me? I have slowly but surely gotten better about #1. I used to FLINCH when he touched me anywhere when I wasn’t expecting it. You would have thought I just got burned by a cattle prod! Instead of encouraging him with what made me feel more comfortable at the time, I spent time making him feel it was wrong to be sexually attracted enough to me to pat my butt or touch my arm. #2 I’ve been trying to come up with some good ones. But if I use one, I need to be prepared to follow through! #3 sometimes my jokes aren’t funny, but I am willing to work on it! #4 i think I am SO much better about that than I used to be. So much better! #5 That is still sometimes out of my comfort zone, so I think I need tutoring on that one … I really think it’s the Aspie in me that makes me just not get how to do it. I’ll work on it.
So how about you? Are you strong in any of these areas? Did you have an “A HA!” moment on one? Let me hear your thoughts!
Okay, I know personally, this is something I need to get better at. I think the Aspie in me finds it really hard to get out of my comfort zone at times with my hubby, and I am trying to break free of this.
Then I read this article that I read from The Marriage Bed’s Facebook page. (Seven Ways to Flirt with Your Husband) I remember trying a few of these a long time ago!! (Yes, I put panties in his tuba case…. when he pulled out a mouthpiece to play it, he pulled out panties….) I also put them in his glove box once, too, I think…. or maybe over his rear view mirror…. well, I definitely don’t want him to get fired, so maybe texts or post it notes it shall be!
It gave me some new ideas on how to flirt with my hubby, but surely we can come up with more than 7. What things do YOU do to flirt with your hubby? I’ve squeezed his bottom in public and I have also kissed him for no apparent reason other than he just needed kissed. What works for you?