This article drew my attention by just the title. Contrary to popular belief, the HDS (high drive spouse) isn’t always the husband. In my household, I am the LDS (low drive spouse). A lot of what he talked about in the article really rings true. I know all of those things. I have heard my hubby say them many times.
Here are the 5 things the HDS feels:
1. It’s part of who I am: God created my DH special and unique. His HDS is a part of that.
2. I can’t just turn it off: When I went through my refusing years, I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just turn it off. I was tired and didn’t feel like making love. Why wasn’t he tired, too? It wasn’t until I realized it was how God created him that I tried to be more understanding and thinking more of what his needs were.
3. The pain of “no” becomes too hard to hear after awhile: He’s told me that many times. I try now to not say no, but say when we can do it…. not in 2015, but maybe the next morning or the following evening.
4. I don’t expect you to be me, I just want you to be “naked and smiling“: Haha. This one made me laugh. He just likes me to be naked…. Then again, it can’t be a forced smile…
5. Meeting a sexual need doesn’t always mean intercourse: he tells me this all the time. One of these days, I will get it.
How does it work in your household? Are you HDS or LDS?
I found this article on One Flesh Marriage. It is, of course, from a man’s point of view, but sometimes for us ladies, it is good to see things through our hubby’s eyes on occasion instead of our own. Now my hubby is not a lingerie kinda guy. He would much rather there be nothing on at all.
I used to purchase lingerie all the time. My train of thought…”it’s sexy and he will really like it”. When he wasn’t really crazy about it, I thought, “oh, I just bought the wrong one.” and would buy a different one. Instead of listening to him say, “I would rather you be naked”, I was hearing what I wanted to hear. Eventually, I stopped buying it because it was a waste of money. That’s when I started listening to him.
Now on a rare occasion, I will pull out a sheer nighty to wear without panties, just because I like the way it feels and the way it makes me feel.
Is your man a lingerie type of guy?
As I was reading on my personal Facebook page today, I came upon an article on the Marriage Bed page that I thought was very good.
This article was so good. It reminded me of what DH and I used to say about why we were so attracted to each other when we were dating… “I feel like I don’t have to pretend to be someone else…I can just be myself”. That is so important to a marriage! I agree with Janet in this post. I would never want my husband to feel torn down because I didn’t like the man that God created in him. Clothing….all superficial. My DH doesn’t have much choice. He’s very tall, and for some reason, designers think that men that are tall only wear dorky clothing styles. He is very conscious of not drawing attention to himself…his height already does that (How tall are you? Do you play basketball?) I would never assume to tell him what to wear, what to eat…. “We all want to be accepted for who we are in all our glory” God created us in His image, and each of us is unique the way God created us.
This was a great read. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.