This article drew my attention by just the title. Contrary to popular belief, the HDS (high drive spouse) isn’t always the husband. In my household, I am the LDS (low drive spouse). A lot of what he talked about in the article really rings true. I know all of those things. I have heard my hubby say them many times.
Here are the 5 things the HDS feels:
1. It’s part of who I am: God created my DH special and unique. His HDS is a part of that.
2. I can’t just turn it off: When I went through my refusing years, I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just turn it off. I was tired and didn’t feel like making love. Why wasn’t he tired, too? It wasn’t until I realized it was how God created him that I tried to be more understanding and thinking more of what his needs were.
3. The pain of “no” becomes too hard to hear after awhile: He’s told me that many times. I try now to not say no, but say when we can do it…. not in 2015, but maybe the next morning or the following evening.
4. I don’t expect you to be me, I just want you to be “naked and smiling“: Haha. This one made me laugh. He just likes me to be naked…. Then again, it can’t be a forced smile…
5. Meeting a sexual need doesn’t always mean intercourse: he tells me this all the time. One of these days, I will get it.
How does it work in your household? Are you HDS or LDS?
Okay, well that is according to this article that I recently read, but honestly, it doesn’t surprise me. Men say they want MORE communication! Yes, you read that correctly.
Based on survey results from more than 70,000 respondents, the new book, The Normal Bar, provided a number of surprises. But the most surprising result I read about was when men in unhappy relationships were asked what they want most from their partners that they’re not getting. The authors/researchers expected to find that sex topped the list, but it didn’t make the top two.
Male respondents instead want more and better communication, saying their partners don’t listen to them attentively enough. Coming in second, they wanted more affection. In third place, they said they desired more sex.
Now, honestly, I will have to admit, that I didn’t think #1 was sex, but RESPECT. I know that respect is HUGE for a man. If he doesn’t feel respected, it really hurts him. I know my husband feels that way, but I also know communication can be one of our weak points in our marriage,too at times, so I could see it being an important one as well.
What are your thoughts? If you posed this question to your husband…”What is one thing in our marriage you want MORE of?” what would he say? What do you need more of in your marriage?
I read another article that hit very close to home. It reminded me of the first 11 years of my marriage…. How I carried guilt and shame, let Satan reside in my mind and let him torture me with my past sin. I took it out on my husband and my marriage bed. I am thankful for the forgiveness from God and my husband that I can now look back and see God’s footprints trying to help me along, but He was patient enough to wait until I was ready to really listen and see what He wanted me to see.
This article is entitled That Still Hurts and it was written this past February. I felt like I could have written it. You can read about my past here on a CN article I wrote as NutmegNympho called Why Wait? The Repercussions . Remember, you are leaving this site for the Christian Nymphos site when you read it… not that it’s a bad thing, but some people have a problem with the name…. Satan had nailed me to my past and it really was ruining me, my husband, my marriage and my relationship with God.
I can think on my past now without all the damage it has done to me. Like I said in my CN article, it’s in the Sea of Forgetfulness, but I can look at it and see God’s footprints in the whole situation. My awakening was something spectacular in my life, where I could really see the truth….the whole truth. I handed my past over to God. He’s handling it now, and I don’t have to worry about it. Satan can use it against me no more.
What did you glean from the article? Did you learn something new? Do you want to share your past experiences? I am hopeful that my story will help someone who thinks they are in the pit of despair…. If you are in a pit, the only thing you can do is look up, right?
“You can never learn that Christ is all you need, until Christ is all you have.”
― Corrie ten Boom