I was so glad to happen upon an article called Oral Blessings as I was doing some online reading today. This was a very helpful and useful article! I know that oral sex is something that my husband really loves…. not only because it feels good, but he is a visual person, so he likes the view….. I have to admit, even though I have contributed to blogs like this one and Christian Nymphos for over 5 years, I do still have hang ups over oral sex. I found in this article, it hits on one of my biggest hang ups…. the gag reflex.
The article gives you some great information on how to start if you haven’t or if you have hang ups, how to get yourself into the mindset that it is a blessing for him, and a very giving thing to do for him. It also has sections on other common hangups, such as the taste of semen, his hair down there, the other areas of the body that are closest to that area, and the owie factor (like jaw pain) . I found it to be a very good read, and I am bookmarking it for future reference.
Who knows… maybe I should start practicing while he is in the room…. where are those popsicles. Not only would it be erotic for him, but he will know that I am working on the issues that I have. :)
What hang ups do you have? How have you overcome them? Are you willing to overcome them to bless him?
I was perusing around the internet, and reading on the Generous Wife (thanks, Lori, for a great blog!!) and I found the cutest idea that I want to throw at you….
I’m in the process of trying to think of ways that I can be a little more forthcoming. I know that my husband would love it if I would initiate more often. I’m just one of those gals who needs to get into the moment to really get into sex. Not that I’m not married to a hunk…I love my husband and everything about him… I’m just not the type of woman who goes around horny all day.
The idea behind these notes is to take something of importance to your husband, leave a ransom note behind, telling him he can get said item back for something that you want/need. One example given was to steal his clothes when he is in the shower and leave a ransom note that he can get them back after a romp! Or how about the remote….. lol! I think I would need to get pretty creative with my hubby. He’d like that I am sure.
Have you ever done anything like this? What did you hide/ransom? What was his reaction? My suggestion…. don’t steal his keys if he’s late for work…. or the remote when the baseball game is about to start….. I am sure we can all come up with some cool ways to make this happen! So what do you think?
About two years ago I realized something. As I am approaching orgasm I have a tendency to hold my breath. I never planned to. I never made a conscious decision to do it. I assume I’ve done it for years and just never realized it. After I came to this realization, I started paying more attention to my breathing patterns during sex.
Breathing patterns are different for everyone. I’ve heard some people talk about how the best orgasms are those that you breathe deeply through. I did a little research, and there are SO MANY different breathing techniques out there. I tried deep breathing and it just didn’t work for me.
Most of the sources that I’ve read have talked about deep belly breathing. (You former band students know what I’m talking about here.) Many people breathe mostly using their chests. But when you are breathing correctly, it is your tummy that should rise and fall, not your chest. Lie on your bed or sofa and place a book on your belly. Take a slow, deep breath in, to a count of 4 or 5. The book should rise. Then exhale slowly and watch the book fall. This is deep breathing. People into yoga or meditation also do deep breathing exercises. It can help to regulate your heart rate and relieve stress. I’ve also heard it said that men who practice this type of deep breathing have better ejaculatory control, partly due to being more relaxed. Here is an interesting read on how deep breathing exercises can help with premature ejaculation issues.
So this deep breathing is supposed to be erotic during sex. It is supposed to help your body experience all the full feelings of pleasure. It can also help extend your orgasms, or so I’ve heard. The problem for me is that the opposite seems to be true. As my pleasure builds, I find myself holding my breath. It adds…something…to it and many times is what pushes me over the top. I find that holding my breath as orgasm approaches helps to quiet everything in my head, and allows me to focus solely on the pleasure sensations that are building. It works for me.
So I guess we are all different in our breathing patterns during sex. I’m going to try and see if I can experiment some more on deep breathing during my intimate times. It’s very hard for me to change how I normally do things, but I am curious to know if it would indeed feel any different? If I have any major breakthroughs I’ll be sure to come back here and update this blog. In the mean time, I’d love to know if there are any other “breath holders” out there besides me?
original comments can be viewed here
How would you like to heighten your arousal, increase natural moisture (lubrication), feel tighter during intercourse, and have stronger orgasms? What about your husband? He could have better control over his ejaculation and have a firmer erection!!!!! All you need is to dedicate at least fifteen minutes a day and you too can see these results in about four to eight weeks. Do you want to know how? You can achieve all this simply by doing Kegel exercises.
Doing these exercises increase blood flow to your clitoris and vaginal wall thus giving you all the benefits stated above. Your husband will need to tense his muscles until his penis jumps. Obviously a firm erection will be easier to tell if his penis is jumping or not. These muscles force out his ejaculation and cause blood flow to his penis leading to a nice firm erection. These are the same muscles that stop urine flow for both men and women. When you are not urinating flex these muscles as though you are trying to stop the urine flow. As you are flexing these muscles you should also tighten your rectum like you are stopping gas from escaping. I know women don’t pass gas but let’s just pretend we do for this exercise. ;) While you are flexing your anus do not clench your butt cheeks!! Flex these muscles for 5 seconds and then release. You can even do what is called elevator kegels. These are done by tightening your muscles slowly, stopping once in awhile like an elevator door opening and closing. Try picking an activity that you do often as a reminder. You can do them as you talk on the phone, during commercials or while you are checking out your favorite message board. It is recommended that you do these exercises three times a day for five minutes.
While you are flexing you can add some resistance with your fingers, your husband’s fingers, a dildo or your husband’s penis. Some women rave about Ben Wa Balls. These are inserted into the vagina and held in place by flexing these muscles. This next product has my curiosity peaked. It is called “Myself“. It isolates the muscles that need to be worked out. Apparently it also shows you your results. I am result driven and will be looking into purchasing one of these babies!!!
One of my friends has a hard time holding in her urine. If she laughs, sneezes, coughs or jumps there is no holding it back. I say “I know, you don’t have time to do kegels” in a tongue in cheek way because there is always time for kegels. Heck, just the fact that I will feel tighter to my husband was reason enough for me. OK, you got me. The fact that I can have stronger orgasms motivates me too. Wow, you people already know me so well!!
If you would like to read the original comments, please click here.