Archive | July 2013

POTW – The Train

Here is another nice oral sex position aimed at giving pleasure to you ladies out there!  I’m not sure why I named it The Train, but it just came to me after visualizing this one in my mind.

For this position the wife gets up on all fours.  The bed works great but she could also use any other furniture that suits their needs.  Once she is on her hands and knees, the husband sits or kneels on the floor behind her and proceeds to give her oral delights!

The wife can lay her upper body down on the bed if she wants to, but keeps her rear up in the air.  That keeps the easy access for her husband.  This position is really vulnerable and makes it easy to spread her vulva and rear cheeks apart.  Couples who participate in rimming will love this one because her entire bottom is there for the taking.

Pros: The husband is able to use his mouth, tongue, and fingers to stimulate his wife in a very easily accessible position.

Cons: Some women may think this position is too vulnerable and may be uncomfortable with sticking their rear in their husband’s face.

Cumingirl

Taking a look at modesty

A friend of mine on Facebook had liked and shared this article on Modesty.  I have  noticed that the authors of this blog had to close comments since it took so many comments for them to moderate!

But they bring up a really good point that I had never really thought about with the verse they quoted.

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” - Matthew 5:28  (emphasis mine)

The verse doesn’t only address guys like I originally thought…  If I dress in a manner that would make any man stumble, I am a part of his sin.  No, we cannot make them NOT think lustfully, but if we dress modestly, we don’t give them the opportunity to sin.  Yes, there will always be those kinds of men who will lust after you no matter what you wear, but I think it is honoring to God to dress modestly, so that our other Christian brothers (or any man in general) does not sin.

What are your thoughts on this?

spicynutmeg

Candida, Lactobacillus and E-Coli, oh my.

Well, I thought I would throw this out there to y’all and see if you can help me!  (Yes, yes…haha)   Over the past month and a half, I have been on so much medication for the above mentioned things… first I thought I had a yeast infection.  When OTC stuff wasn’t working, I made an appointment to see my doctor (I was horribly sore, red and swollen)  She prescribed me  fluconazole (Diflucan) and sent my swab off for testing.  I also started eating more yogurt, thinking it would be helpful.  Actually, I ended up contributing more to the problem…..

It came back not for yeast, but for lactobacillus.   I had NO IDEA what that was at the time, but Google has become my friend…. good or bad.  Haha.  Evidently, I have an over abundance of lactobacillus, the bacteria that disinfects the vagina.  When there is too much, it is processed into lactic acid, hence the burning and pain I was experiencing.   Baking soda baths and baking soda douching as well.  Went back again after 10 days, and she did another swab.  While it was MUCH better than my original exam, it still showed larger than normal amounts of lactobacillus.   More Diflucan.   To this date, I have had more Diflucan than I care to count.  I also underwent a 7 day in a row regimen in order to get it under control…. then came the E-Coli.

So along with the Diflucan came Sulfa-meth.  I had her refill the prescription when I went on vacation.  I didn’t want to be far away from her and home before it happened again.  It didn’t, but when we came home, it came back.

She is probably going to send me to a urologist when I call her back.  Here is my question…. is there anything I can add to my diet to lower the lactobacillus in my digestive system?  I know of using it in yogurt to help with yeast, but evidently it has worked the wrong way.   Any suggestions?  I always wipe from front to back…. so the E-Coli caught me off guard.   I can feel it coming back again, so I want to be proactive so I don’t have to be medicated again.    It really messes with sex, too.  We go “long” times between intercourse when I have these episodes, and it seems to come back after sexual intercourse.  We haven’t changed lubes… I thought that might be the case, but we’ve used Swiss Navy for a long time.  He doesn’t use a different soap than usual….

If you have any suggestions, I am all open for them!

Issues with my photo account

Sorry, folks that I am falling behind.  I am in the process of trying to fix my photo account in order to get all my pics back on the page.   Very frustrating… anyway, I will catch up soon!

 

Spicy

Is Abstinence training giving Christian sex a bad reputation?

This past weekend, I found this article that I started reading because at first I was in full disagreement with it.  It can be found here.

As I began reading this article, I got a really bad taste in my mouth.  BUT I decided to try to keep my opinion neutral until I read the whole article.  I don’t know much about Relevant magazine, but I read on.

There are parts of it that I disagree with, and there are parts of it that I do agree with, and I thought it was worth taking the time to discuss it.

My husband and I will teach abstinence to our children.  We know FIRST HAND what can happen to a marriage where you did not save yourself for your spouse.   The first 11 years were a BIG struggle, but I let Satan take root in my past and cause so much pain to my husband, BUT my husband was NOT willing to give up the fight for our  marriage over sex.   He was ready to GIVE IT ALL UP for our marriage.   This is what we will include in our abstinence talks with our kids… that yes, you need to keep your purity for your spouse, but when you DO choose someone to spend your life with, that sex can be a wonderful gift, but you also need to realize that it WON’T be Hollywood style sex from your wedding night until death do you part.   It is not easy.  It isn’t always mind blowing.  It is a give and take.   It is a only a part of your marriage, it isn’t the ONLY thing in your marriage.   I am so eternally grateful that my husband valued our marriage over sex.   We could be living a sexless marriage, but a HAPPY marriage if God hadn’t intervened.    Sex is like an experiment.  If you get all the right ingredients in the right proportions, you’ll love it.  If you don’t communicate that something doesn’t feel right… something hurts… something stimulates you in a wrong way…. then it’s like a science experiment that will blow up in your face.

BUT if you have saved yourself for marriage, how do you know what is good sex and what is bad?  It is up to the newly married couple to MAKE it so.    It doesn’t mean that one partner is “good in bed” and the other isn’t.    I loved reading the COMMENTS back to this article, and that is where I got the most pleasure of reading the article.  The people who countered her.

I clicked the link to the article she was basically quoting…. Jessica  Henriquez’ story.  Jessica was 19-20ish when she married.  While I feel sorry for her that she went into marriage with the wrong impression, she, in a way, has the right idea in the end of her article… to a very small degree.  Here’s a quote from it “The key is to figure that out before you find yourself walking down an aisle in a dress that costs more than the family car (my mother has since reminded me). It isn’t the most important thing when it comes to love…  AHA   Yes, there is more to marriage than sex, the key is to really understand what you and your fiance expect.  Find it out BEFORE you get married.   Find out if you are on the same page and are willing to work it out …. Jessica checked out of sex from the beginning of her marriage and misled her husband into thinking she was into it.   She should have started communicating to him what she  needed.  What was wrong.  What could they do to make it better for HER since it was obvious it was good for him.  She ends her quote the totally wrong way though…. “But for me, I learned that sex is important enough not to wait.”

If either of my kids were to ask about my past, I would be truthful with them.  I had too many partners before I met my husband and honestly, he was one of them.   I wished that I had saved myself for him, but it didn’t work out that way.  Communication is the key to any marriage.  Have fun in your marriage bed.  Laugh at your mistakes and try again.   Neither one of you is “incompatible” with the other.  The bond between you, your spouse and your Lord and Savior are all you need to help you with ANY issue that comes up in your marriage.

Here’s my true thoughts.  Save yourself for marriage.  Get GOOD premarital counseling that includes what to expect sexually and how God intends sex to be.  If you go through counseling and DO NOT get counseling in this area, find another counselor!  Choose your spouse wisely.  Talk with your fiance about sex after marriage.  What do you expect?  What does he expect?  How can you work together?  What if there are difficulties in the first few nights?  Weeks?  Months?  Years?  What are you going to do?   Is divorce EVER an option over sex?  I loved the commenter who said that you don’t need “Desperate Housewives” or porn to coach you.   You are NOT incompatible with your spouse.  Incompatibility means that it will never work out…square peg in a round hole.  All issues can be worked out.  God placed you together, don’t ignore that fact.  If Jessica were “incompatible” with her husband at the time, it was by her choice, not by God’s design.  Ignore Hollywood sex.  It doesn’t always work that way.   Find you a good supportive church with people willing to help counsel you.  I would love someday to be a couple that helps counsel other married couples in our church.  In the meantime, I attempt to offer help and guidance here, but mark my words, I will never tell you to divorce over sex.   Marriage is so much more than that.   Be willing to compromise.  Use the Bible as your guide.  The TRUTH is in that book.   If it isn’t biblical, don’t do it.   God wants you to save yourself for marriage.

spicynutmeg

Reader’s Questions: Low Drive after Miscarriage

 My DH and I will have been married a year at the end of July.  I got pregnant last October but had a miscarriage after on New Years Eve, with a D&C on New Years Day.  Needless to say its puts a tough strain on our marriage, we were both really torn up about it.  To compound the issue my hormones have gone completely nuts.  The Premenstrual dysphoric disorder that I had as a teenager came back with a roar, which makes me extremely exhausted, irritable, agitated, and emotional.  We have been unable to get pregnant for the last 6 months.  One of the worst symptoms though is my sex drive or complete lack of it.

Last week my husband asked, with tears and fear in his eyes, if I still loved him or if we were just roommates.  I felt awful about it.  I don’t know what to do though.  I’m trying to get the hormone problem fixed with the help of a fertility specialist.  I’ve tried masturbating and I’ve tried having sex every day with my DH.  Nothing helps.  I can’t even get aroused.  If I do its only slightly and I very rarely orgasm and definitely not one worth writing home about.   I don’t know what to do.  I feel terrible about my husband wondering if I still love him and think he is attractive and I sure do!

PLEASE HELP US!

This is such  a hard situation.  I am so sorry for your loss.   I am going to leave this for readers.  I have never had a miscarriage, so I cannot even begin to understand the devastation this has caused both of you in losing your child.    I am praying for you both.  I can tell you that God can heal this.  What does your doctor say?  Are you talking to anyone about the miscarriage?

spicynutmeg

POTW: Water Love

I thought I’d give a simple position that many of you may appreciate with summer being here.  For this position it may be best if you both lube up with a silicone based lube beforehand and then get into the pool, lake, or ocean.  This is a pretty discrete position that you can disguise as a hug/kiss/conversation.

You simply go out into water that is about chest high, and then the wife is able to “jump up” into the husband’s arms and wrap her legs around him.  The husband can penetrate and thrust while standing there holding his wife.  They can hug and kiss and talk and passers-by won’t think twice.

Pros: This is a GREAT position for couples that have always wanted to accomplish standing sex but were unable to do so.  The water helps to hold up the wife’s weight, so there is no strain at all on the husband.

Cons: Some couples dislike water sex because of the friction the water causes.

Cumingirl