Archive | November 2012

POTW: X Marks the Spot

In this position the two of you will form an x shape. You may have done something similar with your husband on top, but in this one the wife is on top.

To get into position, have your husband lie down on his back and get on him as you normally would for woman on top. Then straighten out your legs so they are parallel to his. At this point rotate your body to the right or left of him and set yourself up so that you are in form to do a push up. You may prefer to keep one of your legs in between your husbands or to put both your legs on the outside of his. The latter will cause the two of you to make an X shape.

This position allows your husband to fondle your breasts, rear and other body parts easily. With you doing most of the work, he can lie back and just enjoy you.

original article and comments

Throwback Thursdays: Instructional Sex Videos

Question: My wife and I have started to watch instructional videos by “better sex” and we are wondering if that is OK. We both were looking for something a little more “detailed” and “explicit,” but not porn. Is this wrong?

Answer: I researched the Better Sex Guide DVDs and my initial impression is that it is probably best to avoid them. Here are my reasons:

1) In most cases, the actors are not actually married (though they may be acting as though they are) so not only are you entering in to voyeurism, but you are also supporting an industry that doesn’t hold any regard for the standard God established for a wonderful sex life.

2) I am convinced that you can learn more by communicating well with one another and reading non-pornographic material from Christians who hold a godly world view on sexuality than you can learn from such videos. There are so many wonderful books and websites released by people who are making every effort to be sure that their sex lives line up with God’s standard. If you want to become better lovers, you are better off pursuing healthy information like this from Christians and establishing good communication about your sexual relationship. The DVDs seem like the easy way out and will not benefit you as greatly in the long run. Many of the reviews I read indicated that they weren’t very helpful to the people who watched them anyway.

3) Finally, the issue of lust is a key and you would be hard pressed to convince me that men and women can watch these DVDs without allowing the sin of lust into their hearts.

Thank you for your question. We bless you and your wife to have an increase in godly passion in your marriage.

original article and comments

What We See in Each Other

I received this in my email box from Biblegateway’s “Devotions for Couples” and this really reminds me of my own marriage.  I thought I would share it with you.

1 Samuel 16:1–13

“The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7

Samuel was sent to the house of Jesse to find a new king. When he got there, Samuel saw Eliab, one of Jesse’s sons. “Surely, he is the one God has chosen to be the next king,” Samuel thought. Evidently, like the previous king, Saul, Eliab was tall and striking. But Eliab was not the one God had in mind.

God warned Samuel not to assess people by their physical appearance. God reminded the old prophet that he doesn’t look at the outside; he looks at the inside. So each of Jesse’s sons passed before Samuel, but God did not indicate that any of them was the man God had sent him to find. Finally, David, the youngest son, came in from the fields. Then the Lord spoke to Samuel, telling him this was the right one.

When we look at someone’s outward appearance, we often fail to see what God sees. This message was clearly illustrated to writer John Fisher when he was speaking at a seminar. “A couple came in late, and I could see that they were in love,” Fisher said. “I couldn’t help but notice the woman was very attractive, while the guy was a real nerd.

“What could she see in him?” Fisher wondered. From the outside, this couple didn’t look like a match. “Then I realized she was blind,” Fisher said.

“What did she see in him? She saw everything that was important in a person. She saw love. While another woman might not have gotten past this man’s unimpressive exterior, she was blind to that. She only saw his heart. Blessed are the blind, for they can see people as they really are.”

Like Samuel, we often make judgments based on what people look like. But God doesn’t use looks as his criteria. He evaluates people by what’s in their hearts. He sees their character, their faithfulness and their commitment to him.

During courtship, we can be charmed by someone’s good looks, attentiveness or flattery. All of that can be fleeting. Over the course of a marriage, the real person breaks through. Perhaps as your marriage ages, your spouse’s outward appearance starts to change. Your spouse grays, loses hair or gains a little weight. Perhaps the two of you fall into a rut, and the special treatment that marked your dating period begins to wane. That’s when we need to remember what the Lord said to Samuel about focusing on what’s in the heart rather than what’s physically noticeable.

The success of a marriage comes, not in finding who we think initially is the “perfect” person for us, but in our willingness to adjust to the real person we married.
Jennifer Schuchmann

Let’s Talk

  • What characteristics initially attracted us to each other? What qualities do we treasure most today?
  • The blind woman never saw her partner’s appearance. Like God, she only saw his heart. Would we rather have people look at our appearance or at our heart? Why?
  • What steps are we taking to improve our faith, our character and our commitment to God?