Archive | October 2012

Interesting thought here…..

found this on the marriage bed Facebook page….
If you tossed a dollar into a jar every time you made love, how long would it be before you could pay for a nice dinner for the two of you?

Monday Poll

POTW: The Standing T

I love this position because it is easy.  Those positions that require you to have extra coordination or flexibility are very difficult for me.  I have a confession to make.  I was the only cheerleader in my high school’s history who could not do a split.  OK, while we are being honest, I couldn’t do a cartwheel either. You got me, everyone that tried out that year made the squad but that’s beside the point.  In my book simple is better.  I am sure that my husband’s book says that as long as he get a nice visual, it’s all good.  This position gives him a great visual so every body’s happy.

Let’s get into position.  Lay face up on your bed so that your headboard is to one side of you and your foot board is to the other.  Move your rear down to the edge of the mattress.  Your husband stands at the side of the bed and places your legs or the bottom of your feet up on his shoulders.  You should be making a 90 degree angle with your bodies.  We have bed risers so the height of our bed makes us match up perfectly.  If your genitals aren’t lining up try putting some pillows under your rear to lift you up. Now he can grab your ankles or hips as he thrusts.  This provides nice G-spot spot stimulation, gives easy access to the clitoris for a vibe or fingers, and the husband gets a great visual.  That reminds me.  I like to line my husband up in front of a mirror when we are using this position so that I too can get a nice visual of his backside going to work.  (That’s our secret though.  I don’t think he realizes what I am truly doing when I am lining him up. ;) )

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Throwback Thursdays: Drinking Him Down

So what exactly is that white stuff that comes shooting out of my husband’s penis? Have you ever wondered that? Seminal fluid consists mainly of water, minerals, sugars, proteins, sperm, and other various nutrients. You are ingesting most of those things daily anyway. Well, except for the sperm. Women usually have two major problems with swallowing their husband’s load: taste and texture. Let’s look at both these issues.

I have asked women what they think semen tastes like, and I have gotten many different answers. The most common things women say is that it is salty, bitter, metallic, and reminds them of Clorox. Doesn’t sound very flattering, does it? Well, I am of the belief that all men taste different, and diet can have somewhat of an impact on how a man’s seminal fluid tastes. I have read that it will taste stronger or heavier if a man is a heavy meat eater. I’ve also read that you can improve the taste by asking your man to cut down on the amount of meat (particularly red meat) that he eats, while increasing the amount of fruits and veggies that he is consuming. I have heard women swear that pineapple juice works wonders. But if you expect to see results from this, he needs to be drinking pineapple juice in large quantities, not just a glass with dinner. If you would like more specific information, then you can check out this link: Sperm Taste – 10 Simple Tips For Better Tasting Semen. You may wish to print it out and have your husband read it with you. I remember the day my husband came home with a 64oz can of pineapple juice and a smile. I laughed because I knew exactly what he had in mind.

As for the texture, I’m not sure there is much help for that. Semen is kind of thick for a reason, and it really can’t be thinned out too much. Some women have described it as being like”mucus” because of its consistency. Again, that’s not very flattering. I’ve heard that having the man drink large amounts of water may possibly thin it out a tiny bit, but I’m not really sure how accurate that is.

Your husband may secrete some pre-ejaculatory fluid that is clear or colorless. It is usually secreted during intercourse, and helps to aid in lubrication. I have found it to be sweeter in taste and I actually look forward to seeing it, because it means that my husband is very turned on!

Okay, so now we’re ready to think about the physical act of swallowing. If you are still reading this, I am going to assume that you’d like to do so. I will tell you that years ago I really did not care much for swallowing myself. I thought it was odd tasting. I didn’t really have the best attitude about sex at the time though. Sometimes I’d swallow and then go running to the kitchen for a Dr. Pepper to wash the taste out. Sometimes I’d get up and spit it into the sink in the bathroom, or into a towel by the bed, and then go running into the kitchen for a Dr. Pepper to wash the taste out! The first thing that changed with me was my attitude towards sex. When I had my sexual awakening, my attitude about everything sexual changed. The way I viewed his penis changed, and the way I viewed his ejaculate changed as well. Since then, I’ve not minded the taste at all!

If the taste is what is keeping you from swallowing, there are a couple of tips I have to share with you. You could try to use flavored lube. You could also chew three or four altoids or cough drops beforehand. Another idea would be to gargle with Scope or Listerine just before you start oral sex. All of these things will help to mask the flavor of his semen, thus making it easier to swallow.

Now, when he is getting ready to orgasm, and you know it is coming soon, try to take him deeper into your mouth. If you have a really bad gag reflex, you may want to think about using Good Head. You apply a good-sized amount on your finger and place it on the far back roof of your mouth, then swallow it. It will coat your uvula and numb it so that you don’t gag. (If you don’t have this readily available you may want to try that Chloraseptic throat spray because it also numbs the back of your throat, just don’t use too much, because it can also numb his penis too!) If you can take him in deeper, then when he comes, it will squirt to the back of your throat and bypass your tongue and taste buds. You can just immediately swallow.

If you can’t take him in deeper, then you will need to decide if you want to swallow a little at a time (after each squirt) or just once. Some women say it’s better to just catch it in your mouth and wait until he gets it all finished, and then swallow one time. This is what I usually do. It helps if you just relax and let it happen. If you get all nervous and tense, then you could end up gagging or getting choked. So just relax and be ready for it. If you do it this way, then you can also open your mouth a little after it is all collected, and let him see it before it goes down. Many men say this is a major turn on.

If you have tried many of the suggestions above, and you still can’t seem to get used to swallowing, don’t get discouraged. I’m sure your husband will say that this is not the most important thing in your marriage, right? You are doing a wonderful thing by blessing him with oral sex, period. You can practice when you feel like it, and when you don’t feel like it; you know that there are alternatives. You shouldn’t feel pressured to swallow just because your friends do or because you read somewhere that all men secretly want that. The truth is that most men care more about the oral sex than they do about how it ends. So communicate with your husband and discuss this issue together.

Make this fun and exciting and something you two can experiment with and practice together. A positive outlook can make tons of difference. If any of these ideas help you, please write to us and let us know! We love hearing success stories!

 original article and comments

The new baby and sex

The more I read this title, the more I think it’s an oxymoron. New baby? Sex? What, are you nuts lady?

To tell you the honest truth, there is one sex drive that doesn’t go away after the baby is born….his. I learned this the hard way after my son was born.

We were very apprehensive when we read the pregnancy test. We had only been married 5 months, and we were pregnant! That wasn’t what we planned (even though we sure had lots of fun getting there!) So here we were, newlyweds, still in the process of getting used to things as a newly married couple.

Fast forward 8 months and our healthy, screaming baby was born. He was the apple of my eye. I think from that point on, something changed in me. I was a Mommy. I was someone’s Mommy. Satan took that precious moment when I gazed into my son’s eyes and he stopped crying at the sound of my voice, and he planted the worst possible lie into my unsuspecting head. Satan whispered to me, “Mommies don’t have sex.”

As I adjusted to the first days of my precious baby being home, the middle of the night feedings, diaper changes, the tiredness, my body feeling really awful from the 4th degree episiotomy, the raging hormones….there was no way I was even thinking about sex…until that 6 week postpartum appointment when the doctor cleared me for sexual intercourse. What? Hadn’t he heard? Mommies don’t have sex!

My poor husband. I don’t think I can possibly imagine the hurt, pain and frustration that he went through for the next 9 years. Yes, I said 9 years. Until after the birth of my second baby and then some. What happened? I fell for the oldest lie in the book. Mommies don’t have sex. Satan was on a euphoric high every time he looked in on us. “She really believes it! Look at how it is destroying them!!”

Instead of rehashing my life story, let me give you Mommies a bit of advice. You are still a sexual being. You may not feel like it at first, and that is understandable. Babies take a lot of time and energy, but PLEASE don’t forget the man you love. Here are a few tips and suggestions.

1. Please be open and communicate with your husband your feelings and your needs, and be receptive to his feelings and needs as well. He may believe that now that the baby is born, your sex drive will match his. Communication is very important here.

2. Daddies, please be sure to be very involved with helping your wife with the baby.
Help out around the house. This can be a serious turn on for new mommies…..

3. Mommies, take the time when you don’t *feel* like having sexual intercourse to satisfy your husband in some other way. Treat him to some manual stimulation or oral sex. If you aren’t feeling up to that, then give him permission to release himself via masturbation.

4. Oh, and guys, snuggling, hugging, cuddling….all those things are A-OK.

The Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:5 ” 5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

It takes time, patience, communication and understanding to return to a normal, intimate, loving partnership after your first baby is born. Keep those lines of communication open and get help from your doctor if hormones and depression are getting in the way of your recovery. Mostly, remember what drew the two of you together in the first place. That beautiful baby you are holding was a beautiful creation through the beautiful coming together of a loving married couple. God blessed you with a child, but he still wants to bless you, your marriage and your marriage bed with the most intimate gift that only God could give you and bless you with.

~ Spicy ~

Monday Poll

POTW: The Italian Chandelier

My husband and I love to try different positions.  We take a standard position, tweak it a bit, and then it happens……a brand new, never done before position is born.  Then I will poke around online and see that this new invention of ours is not so new to the rest of the world.  In fact I even found out how many calories were burned during this particular position but I do not think it’s too accurate.  I didn’t even break a sweat but it is now our most favorite position.  It’s officially called “The Italian Chandelier”.  I love the name so I think we will be referring to it as that too.  ;)

Have your husband lay flat on his back,  his knees bent with the balls of his feet flat on the bed.  You will straddle him facing his feet so that you are in a reverse cowgirl position but instead of sitting straight up you are now going to lie back on top of your husband.  Now get into a crab-like position where your legs are outside his and your arms are on either side of him supporting your back up off his chest.  So now, as well as it being reverse cowgirl-like it’s also a rear entry position. Here are the wooden figures, provided by sexualpositionsfree, showing the finished position.

He should be able to thrust and get leverage from his legs and you should be able to meet his thrusts with your own while getting leverage from your arms, as well as your legs.  While he is thrusting he can caress your breast.  If you can support your weight with one arm, you can stimulate your clitoris with a toy or your fingers with the other, non supporting arm.  Both the G-spot and clitoris can be stimulated in this position resulting in a fabulous orgasm.

Now I’m off to ‘invent’ some new positions with the love of my life. 8)