Archive | September 2012

POTW: On the Pillows

This is position that has always been a favorite of ours. It’s not extremely difficult, although the man needs to have a good sense of balance and strong arms. We’ve never known what to call it so we just call it the “On The Pillows” position.

You start by stacking up three good-sized pillows in the middle of your bed (you may need 4). Then the wife is going to lay down on her back, but put her bottom up on top of the pillows. The husband may need to help lift her up on top. Now the wife should be lying on her back with her bottom angled up on top of a stack of pillows.

The husband gets on his knees directly in front of her, in between her legs, in a kneeling position. His penis should be close to the height of her vagina. If not, then you may add or take away a pillow as needed.

Then the husband can grab hold of the wife’s ankles, and hold her legs up and apart while entering her. He will then thrust while on his knees. He can move his hands down to hold onto her calves or thighs if he would rather do that. Or, the wife can rest her legs on her husband’s chest/shoulders.

And while the husband is thrusting and keeping the wife’s legs out of the way, the wife’s hands are free to rub her own clitoris.

Pros:
For women who need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, this position is wonderful. You are able to get yourself to orgasm while your husband is inside you at the same time, making it really nice!

This position gives a WONDERFUL view to the husbands out there. He is able to look down and see himself entering his wife, and also see her rubbing herself at the same time.

Cons:
Although you can see each other, your bodies are not really touching except for the privates. You aren’t close enough to kiss or hug or hold each other tight.

This is not a difficult position to do. If you haven’t tried it yet, I encourage you to do so soon, with the lights ON!

original article and comments

Throwback Thursday: Sex Toys = Pornography?

Question: Aren’t sex toys just another form of pornography because they are used for arousal?

Answer: Whether or not a person is sinning when they use sex toys depends on what they are thinking about while they are using them. It is our conviction that unless a sex act is expressly declared in Scripture as wrong (adultery, bestiality, homosexuality, incest and so on), we are to consider what is happening in the mind according to the principles Jesus gave us to determine if it is sin or not. Since masturbation, with or without a toy, is not talked about in Scripture we use what Jesus taught us about lust and remaining in control of our bodies to separate masturbation that is sin from masturbation that is not sin.

So if a woman uses a sex toy and is thinking about what her body is doing and how it is responding, and/or what she would like to be doing sexually with her husband, we do not believe this is sin. However, if a woman is using a sex toy and fantasizing about a man at work or thinking about a sex scene she saw in a movie then we believe this is sin. As well, if masturbation/the use of sex toys controls her to the point where she plans her day around it or it interferes with her responsibilities and so on, then we believe that it has become something which controls her which we believe is sin. The final issue that we believe would make toy usage sin is if it replaced a wife’s sexual experience with her husband. We believe the needs of the couple come first. So if a wife is using a toy and it results in pleasing her to to point where she is no longer available to him, then we believe the woman is sinning.

So although sex toys are tools that are used for arousal, we believe that they do not fit into the category of pornography because they can be used in ways that are free from lust and a loss of self control.

Thank you for your question.

original article

 

Help me with new era of orgasms!

Here’s another email that I got from a reader that could use some help or advice.

She and her husband used vibrators during intercourse for many years.  They have decided to put the vibes down and try other things in their marriage bed, but she hasn’t had as much luck with orgasms since losing the vibes.   She remembers being able to orgasm through OS with her hubby ages ago, but it was while watching pornography….. her question was “Is there anything you can think of that we can do that might be okay that would replicate that “body buzz” and oral-sex-orgasm I got while we were watching pornography? “

Whilst it wasn’t pornography in the truest sense of the word, I can remember one time while watching an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise … there was a really steamy scene between Captain Archer and his Communications officer, Hoshi.   I usually don’t get turned on by TV programs, but for some reason, this scene really got me hot and heavy…. and DH reaped the rewards of it.

After it was all over (the episode and our hot romp in the hay), I felt really guilty that it… I mean, why couldn’t I do that on my own?  Why did it take Scott Bakula to get me all hot and heavy?  (sigh…..LOL!)    I haven’t had that issue since then, but what is it about porn that excites our minds?

Okay, without using porn, here is what I recommend.   Evidently, something about the way you used the vibe during intercourse during all those years helped you with your orgasms.   You may need to take some time to go back and experiment with the vibes on occasion to figure out how you used it that felt the best.   The other thing…. give your hubby plenty of extra time to practice!  Once you know how the vibe worked on you, try to simulate some of the same motions with your hubby’s touch or with his tongue.   Is there a certain spot on your clitoris that is more sensitive to stimulation?   With me, sections of the hood around the clitoris  (esp the 7 o’clock position as he looks at me) are very sensitive.   Have him gently lick or suck on those areas.   My labia are extremely sensitive, so I have him slowly lick from my vagina, up my labia to that 7 o’clock position…. can you say fireworks!?!?!?  He can flick his tongue to get the “vibrating” feeling… Also keep in mind that TOO much stimulation on the clitoris can give you a numb feeling, so once you start feeling that, you may want him to do some nipple stimulation or something else at that point.    I know that if DH licks my clitoris in a clockwise motion it feels good….counter clockwise….not so good.   It’s all part of the practice, which I am sure your hubby would be in agreement on.

I STRONGLY recommend that you NOT go back to porn videos… even though it gave you a strong reaction.  That is allowing something else into your marriage bed, which is a sin.   Like nicotine, porn is addictive and hard to break.

Any other advice or words of wisdom?  Feel free to comment.