Archive | March 2012

Chapter 12: Lord, Plant Me so I Will Bear the Fruit of your Spirit

Planting.  This chapter is coming at a very opportune time for me, as I am working in a new field in my life – preparing a new blog.   This will be an interesting challenge for me.  I’ve never been very good at blogging on my own.  I have two personal blogs that haven’t been written on in a LONG time.  LOL.  But I feel that God is in this one, so hopefully it will be successful.  Pray that the seeds I am planting now will produce much good fruit for the Lord!

I have never been good at planting.  This past spring, my daughter and I planted some seeds as an experiment for her to see how well they would grow.  She planted them and faithfully took her watering pot out daily to water the seeds.   Soon, we began seeing little sprouts.  She was so excited!   Then, the summer hit.   We had the 2nd most 100+degree days on record.   The faithfulness for both of us to go outside and water those plants waned.   Pretty soon, much to her chagrin, you guessed it…the plants died.

I like her line where she says, “All of us are planting something in our lives every single day, whether we realize it or not. And we are also reaping whatever we have planted in the past.”   In Sunday school, we were talking about greed.  In 2 Kings 5, I think we all know the story of Naaman, who was plagued with leprosy, came to Elisha and was healed.   But if you continue reading, Elisha had turned down any payment from Naaman.  But his servant, Gehazi decided to hurry after after Naaman, and he lied to Naaman and took money from him and clothing in Elisha’s name.   Then when he returned home, he lied to Elisha about where he was.  The seeds that Gehazi planted affected all of his descendants…he was cursed with Naaman’s leprosy … him and his family for ALL generations.    Can you imagine what he thought after reaping what he had sewn?  How about his children… grandchildren…his great grandchildren….

Stormie’s producing great crops section goes through the Fruit of the Spirit.  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.   If we plan these seeds, the seeds that the Lord oversees, Jesus helps us to plant and nurture, and the Holy Spirit helps us with the harvest.

I’ve planted things in my past that did not bear good fruit.  Thank the Lord for forgiveness.  Daily, I try to plant new seeds, good seeds, and I cannot wait to watch them grow into fruition.  Which one is the hardest one for you to grow?  I am working on joy and self control.  Joy is something I have been expecting, but not seeing.   My life is great now, but I don’t feel any joy.  For some reason, the Christmas season always seems to do this to me as well, and I haven’t figured out why.   I need to find where my disconnect is with the Lord.   Self control…. eek.  I am not TOTALLY without self control, mind you, but there are areas I need work on.

What did you glean from this chapter?  How is your harvest going?

Throwback Thursdays: Making Time for Sex

Do you ever feel like your husband approaches you at some very inopportune times or frustrated because days turn into weeks without getting a physical connection with your husband?  If so then it may be time for you to start scheduling times on a calendar for sex.  Many women do not like the idea because they feel that scheduling takes away some of the spontaneity.  I suppose it does to an extent but some aspects can be kept a mystery.  You don’t need to discuss exactly where it will happen or what sex act will take place.  I would much rather lose some spontaneity rather than dealing with the feeling of rejection.  I know that in the past I have dropped hints (that I thought were blatantly obvious) only to find that my husband was clueless to my advances.  This was our beginning stages of me realizing that he truly is not a mind reader.  At the time I was feeling very frustrated and thought he was avoiding me and these feeling could have been avoided with better communication or simple scheduling.  Another scenario where scheduling can help is if your husband approaches you at inopportune times such as when your friend is walking up to your front door so that you can watch her child for her.  Putting things on a schedule assures that we are hearing each other and it is important enough to not let it just fall through the cracks.  It is easy to say no, go about our business and not see how this may be affecting our spouse.  Communication is so very important.  If you have a spouse who wants to be there for you sexually but is having difficulties finding the time, don’t be shy to pull out a calendar or simply make a ‘date’ for later in the day.  Once it is on that calendar it is a visual reminder for both of you and it gives you something to look forward too as well!!  It can be exciting not knowing exactly what will happen on that special, marked day.

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Where Do I Go for Some Rest?

At one point in time, my DH and I were church hunting….we  found it was time for a change. I love it when you go into church not knowing what to expect, and God is waiting there, ready to speak to you! It’s been an incredible experience and I have learned so much more lately than I have in a long while.

In today’s study, I want to talk about something I mentioned in a comment on my Christians: Perfect? or Forgiven? article.  Burdens and loads.   I had an “ah ha!” moment when I heard this passage in a new light…. (Matthew 11: 28-30) — “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” I have heard these verses before many times, but this was the first time I really got something from it.

First thing, we are all weary and burdened, aren’t we?  I mean, in today’s age we have our own lives…we may work (at home or outside the home), we may have kids who are in soccer, gymnastics, dance, softball, band lessons and concerts…we have a spouse who comes home just ready to eat dinner or ready to shed all his problems and such in exchange for some good lovin’ …there are baths for the kids, bedtime routines, homework to check and recheck, practice records to sign….whew!  We are weary by the end of the day, are we not, girls?     All of these things also create burdens for us that we sometimes feel like we have to bear all by ourselves, too.  Your husband is lying in bed naked, and all you want to do is go to sleep…  Where do we go for some rest???

Well, in this verse, Jesus tells us to come to him.   What in the world could Jesus do to help me with all my burdens and give me rest?  Oh, child, believe me, He can do it.  I am proof of it.

Let me take a step back here and give you a few definitions.   First of all, what is a burden?  A burden is something you cannot bear by yourself.  My pastor told me in life there are burdens and loads.  What is the difference between a burden and a load?  A load is something that is the right size for you to carry.   A grocery sack from the store is a load.  You can carry that.   Carrying in 10 grocery bags at one time…that is a burden.

In these verses, Jesus is asking us for a give and take relationship.   If we give him our burdens, he will share the load.    It reminds me of seeing oxen work in a yoke.    When using the yoke, the oxen become partners bearing the load together.   The work might be too hard for one to do on his own, but when pared together, the burden is much lighter.    When we take on Jesus’ yoke, he becomes the Senior partner in the deal.  The verse tells us to take HIS yoke and learn from HIM.  I decided to do some research on how oxen are trained, and I found this quote, “Training oxen requires taking two separate animals, (selected for their similarities in temperament and willingness to work), which have previously been their own masters, and making them a team, that will work for another master”   (www.prairieoxdrovers.com) Does this sound familiar?  How many of us try to be our own master?   I will raise my hand high and tell you that when DH and I were going through our marriage bed difficulties, I thought I could fix it myself.   I cannot tell you how many times I told him we didn’t need to see our pastor or a counselor.  I was a smart woman.  Surely I can fix this myself.   Well, desperate times led to desperate measures….I finally gave my burden to God.   And yes, when the Lord takes the lead in the yoke, the burden is SO much lighter.   I felt like a ten ton weight had been lifted off me, and it was exhilarating.

Part of my hope is that by reading the articles on this blog, that maybe we (as a group of Christian women) can help lift a burden from your life.   Sometimes one person’s burden is another person’s load, and we are so willing to yoke with you to help you.  Sometimes we have preconcieved notions about sex.   Sometimes it burdens us so much when we’ve got misinformation or wrong information about what is acceptable to God in our marriage beds.   Please let us help share your burden.  Write in to me  on the “Got Questions” thread with your burden if you do not want to post it publically.   You can respond to this article.   Whatever you feel most comfortable with, but know that is why God pressed upon us the need for people like us to carry other people’s burdens for a period of time until it can become a load for you.   We will pray for you and help in any way possible.

Lord, Jesus, thank you so much for being willing to carry our burdens for us.  You carried the biggest burden we have, our sin, to the cross for us, and for that we are eternally grateful to you.  Lord, help this blog and the ladies on it to thrive in our marriage beds.  Help us to bear others burdens for them when it gets to be too much for them.   We love you, Lord, and praise you for all you have done and will do for us.   In Christ’s precious name, AMEN!

Faking an Orgasm; Yay or Nay?

Okay, if I mention *THE SCENE* from When Harry Met Sally, what scene do you picture? Are you with me? The scene in the diner where Sally fakes an orgasm and then just keeps on eating like nothing happened? I don’t think I have ever met anyone that didn’t know about that scene (if you don’t, you MUST watch that movie), but is faking orgasms really healthy to your sexual relationship with your spouse?

I went through a long period of refusal and I am not very proud of it now a days. It really hurt our intimacy, but I am past that now. But back then, I could have used Meg Ryan’s technique (though not as vocal) on days that I didn’t really want to have sex, but I thought it would be totally unfair to my husband to do that. Why? An orgasm is showing the ultimate in trust and pure pleasure during intercourse. If you fake an orgasm and you really didn’t have one, it sends very wrong cues to your spouse….”oh, that position really works!” (and that may have been further from the truth)…. “I am a very good lover if I can make my wife orgasm like that” (when in all actuality, you may have wanted to roll over and fall asleep quicker), “I’ll have to use that position/technique again tomorrow night/later tonight” (OH BROTHER)

I really hurt my husband’s ego when I refused him. I wasn’t a willing and active partner at all. If I had added to the mix a fake orgasm, then I think that could have really deflated his feelings of worth. Is it really worth it to cause such pain in your marriage? This is where the lines of communication in bed are really important. If something isn’t working, tell your husband that it isn’t working. Be willing to try something new. Trust me, I have had a REAL orgasm (like Sally’s in the movie) and it is SO worth communicating for! If something isn’t working, suggest a variation, tell him what kind of stimulation you need to help you get there, or if you are simply not in the mood, make a date for another time. Faking an orgasm is not the answer, it can only contribute to the problem.

So gals, let’s go order the Sally special with our husbands! “I’ll have what she’s having!”

 

Prayers and Promises: Isaiah 40:8

The grass withers and the flowers fall,
   but the word of our God endures forever.” (Isaiah 40:8)

Isn’t this so true?  Just this past summer, we went through the biggest drought in Texas history.  My grass was not green…it was yellow/brown… it was burned!  It withered and died.   The flowers in my yard did the same.   But you know what?  On days that we thought “Oh, Lord, it’s another 106* weather day.”  He brought the rain…. surely it was only for 5 minutes, but his word…his promises.  They endure forever.   His word is as true today as it was yesterday and it will be tomorrow.     There is no way that I can keep my word for as long as the Lord has kept his word.   I do my very best, but I still fail here.  I can always count on the Scriptures to be truthful and to lead me the right way.  Thank you, Lord, for your never ending promises and for your Word, which is the truth forever.

Chapter 11: Lord, Bless Me in the Work I Do

Chapter 11 has really struck me with a very real truth.  I’ll get to that in a minute.

While I was growing up, my Dad had a job he loved.   Until it was bought out by another company.  Instead of letting him go, the company started making him miserable.  I think there were some days he went to work and he had nothing to do for 8 hours a day.   He became very bored, very angry, and eventually they got their wish…he quit.   But before he left that job, we knew to leave Dad alone for 30 minutes to an hour after he got home.    He was miserable.   He stayed at the job because he needed to provide for his family.  He had a wife and three kids that depended on him.   The burden of the world was on his shoulders.   I don’t know if my Dad really ever had a job that he really enjoyed after that.  Maybe it was just work to him and a paycheck.

When DH and I married, we both decided that we learned something from our fathers… our work was not going to be that…it’s wasn’t going to be work.  We were going to really enjoy our work, even if we were dirt poor, living from paycheck to paycheck, we didn’t want to work at any job just to earn a paycheck.  We were both private music teachers…self employed, no insurance, but we were in love with each other, our jobs, life.   We were tested by our families…especially when I became pregnant with our son 5 months after our wedding.   “You should get a real job” … “You need to get a job with insurance”… “When ARE you going to get a real job?” … But we stood firm with our belief that we wanted to come home at the end of the day, and our son would enjoy two HAPPY parents who loved coming home after a long day to him.

Now about the real truth.   In May of 2005, I taught music lessons for one high school and it’s feeder schools…and at the end of that school year in May, they decided to let go ALL of their private trumpet staff…which included me.   Over the summer, I tried contacting other schools to see if they needed a trumpet teacher, but I couldn’t get a single bite.   So knowing that we needed a second income, I went to a friend that was the director of a child care center.   I asked if they needed any help.  I started out subbing for her, but eventually that September, I was hired on part time…. which later became full time…. which later became an afternoon supervisor…. which eventually I became the director of the center.   And I love my job.

You see, the realization I came to was that God has a season for everything.  He knows who needs to be where at what time to make things come together perfectly to His glory.  I had a vision as a child.  When I grew up, I wanted to have 50 children.  Yeah, seems really crazy, right…but it came true.  When I stepped into the office that used to be my friend’s office and realized that the sign on the door … Director… that was ME…and at that time, the center had 50 children enrolled…. and I loved everyone of them like they were my own.  I have now been Director of this child care center now for a little over 3 years.   It’s has grown to 66 children at this writing.  I love every one of them.  I love my staff.  I love the families.  I love my supervisors.   I feel that I am EXACTLY where God wants me at this point in my life.

Stormie is right.   God has given everyone a job, whether you are a SAHM or you work outside of the home.  Whether you volunteer or get paid for what you do.   Whatever work you do, do it well to the best of your ability.  One of my teachers came up to me the other day and told me that she has worked at several different child care centers in her life.   She loves mine the best.  She loves working for me.  She loves that everyone loves her.   I am sad that I am going to lose her at the end of December….but she is a pastor’s wife and she has work to do.   I told her when we talked once that I couldn’t help but treat everyone, staff and families, like they were Jesus.  At any point, any person that I come in contact with, could be the Savior.  Like in Genesis 18 when the Lord visited Abram.  Abram saw three visitors.   At any time, anyone who walks into my life could be the Lord, and I rejoice in treating them as I would treat my Savior, if he were to appear.   There is no other way to treat others, is there?

“No matter what your paycheck reflects, your work is important to God, it’s important to others, and it’s important to you.”  Amen to that.   Amen.

What did you glean from this chapter?  What stories do you have to tell about revelations you have had in this chapter?  I need to email my Dad…..

(PS… I am writing this during one of my “worship” times with youtube!  It’s so easy to write that way!!)

Throwback Thursdays: Deep Spot Orgasms

Okay, so by now we have all heard of the g-spot and know basically how it works.  But have you ladies also heard of the “deep spot?”  Apparently it responds much the same way the g-spot does, but it’s…deeper in the vagina.

In fact, the “deep spot” is all the way at the back of the vaginal wall, beside the cervix.  From what I have read, there is a “front” which is in the small pocket in front of the cervix, on the upper part of the vaginal wall, and there is a “back” which is behind the cervix on the back part of the vaginal wall.  These are both supposed to be sensitive areas that can be aroused, stimulated, and made to bring about orgasm.

I found mine over a decade ago, but had never heard of it.  All my husband knew was that I had a spot waaaaaaaaay deep inside that could send me over the top if he was able to consistently brush it with the tip of his penis.  It was tricky because if he hit my cervix, it HURT! :shock:   I found that the more aroused I was the easier it was to find, because my body would “balloon” a little inside and the cervix would tilt a little.  (It was made even easier to find after I had my hysterectomy a couple years later and said buh-bye to my cervix!)

You stimulate the deep spot by having your husband use the same “come here” motion that he uses on your g-spot…just deeper.   He will need to insert his middle finger as far as he can get it.  Your husband can also use his penis to brush back & forth, trying to hit the same spot each time.  For me it has remained a mystery because it isn’t something that works for us every time.

The few websites that have information about this are…questionable at best.  I was planning on linking to one for you, but when I tried to close out of it, it started giving me all kinds of pop-ups asking me not to leave the site :roll:   There is one very good video that I found though.  The website is slightly questionable, but the video is very well made.  All it shows is a partial woman’s body made out of foam, and a man using his finger to demonstrate how you reach and stimulate the deep spot.  If you are interested in this then click here.  There is no nudity, but there may be questionable links in the sidebars and crude comments in the comment box.

So have any of you ladies noticed that you have a “deep spot?”  What works for you in achieving orgasm this way?

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