My husband loves sex with the light on.He is a very visual person, and he loves to watch us making love.He loves taking in the visual sights of my body. He loves it with oral sex when he can see what I am doing to him or what he is doing for me.
I, on the other hand, would rather it be dark.I enjoy losing the sense of sight because it enhances my 4 other senses.I pick up sounds and touch so much more than if I can see.It leaves me to visualize in my head his thrusting and I can concentrate on the internal feeling of his penis inside me.
So what is our compromise?Candles.
Candles can be many small votive candles, or a few larger ones.They can be scented or unscented.The mood is so much more romantic than direct light.The flickering of the candles cast cool, sensual shadows on the walls.The light from the candles is so different, making the room feel warmer, more romantic.It can help the visual spouse to see what they want to, while allowing the spouse who likes the dark to have still have a darkened room to make love in.
One of my most romantic memories with candles was on my birthday.He tossed my satin robe out the bedroom door, locked the door and told me I couldn’t come in until he called me.When I finally entered the room, I didn’t recognize my bedroom.It looked as though there were a hundred sparkling lights in the room.The room looked so warm and inviting.It was a very awesome birthday present.
Another thing we have tried to meet each other half way was by using black lights. My husband went out and bought a few replacement light bulbs for our bedside lamps.The result was a darker room with a purplish glow.It was pretty cool.The whole room wasn’t neon, but it was a nice darker compromise and when he would slather me with coconut oil, the sight of my glisteny body did wonders for his visual nature.
If you are interested in more ways to romanticize your bedroom, be sure to check out this article by my good friend Cinnamonsticks.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
Confession is such a hard thing. When I made wrong choices as a child, it was so hard to say I was wrong. My pastor once told a story of a young girl and her science experiment… she was to guess if a seed would sprout that she had planted and taken home. She guessed that it would not. To her dismay, the seed did indeed sprout, and as part of her assignment, she had to admit whether her guess was right or wrong. She refused to write down on her paper that her guess failed, until her older sister told her to write, “My hypotheses was erroneous.” She agreed and wrote it down! (not realizing that she just wrote her guess was wrong)
It is very hard for me at times to admit that I was wrong. I am grateful, though, for a forgiving Father that throws those sins away when I confess to him and does not remember them. I pray that in the future I will remember this verse when it comes time for me to admit my wrongs.
The key word in this very short chapter was surrender. I looked up the word surrender. Merriam-Webster had four definitions for the word.
1. to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand
2. to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another
3. to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner
4. to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence)
What I found more compelling about the word surrender was the synonyms for it…. cede, cough up, deliver, give up, hand over, lay down, relinquish, render, turn in, turn over, yield.
Jesus laid down his life for me. And I cannot seem to let go of what I want for what he wants. It’s crazy, isn’t it? That we think we know what’s best…what we need to do…. never considering that God knows better than us. I think about this actually quite often. What if God called my family to be missionaries? Could we drop everything and go? What if God told us that we needed to tithe the full 10% on a month that we know we are going to be short? Can we step out in faith and trust that God knows what he is doing? Or do we say no, I can’t do that. I know I am guilty of the latter. And you know, it’s not that I don’t trust God….it’s that I am scared. I listen to the serpent from the Garden of Eden…. he tells things that scare me. And so I “feel better”, I don’t do what God asks of me.
I will be reading and rereading this chapter and hope that the Lord helps me to understand what I am to do for him. Help me, Lord, to surrender to you.