Archive | January 2012

Do you burn calories when you make love?

I used to ask this all the time, and most of the time the answers I got were next to none.  But I found this article in a Women’s Day magazine, so I thought I would revisit it with you.   Do you burn calories?  If so, how many?

According to the article:

1. Kissing: 68 calories per hours.  See if you can get into that groove again, say experts. Not only is smooching a great way to show affection and improve your bond as a couple, it can also help you burn fat. “If the kissing is vigorous and involves some petting, it could be even closer to 90 calories burned in an hour,” says Jaiya Kinzbach, a Los Angeles–based sexologist and the author of Red Hot Touch.

2. Undressing: 8 calories total: By upping the energy you put into undressing, you can burn some extra calories. Don’t just strip down in seconds, says Kinzbach; instead, “draw it out and make it part of your foreplay, while getting a great a workout going.” Or undress to tease him, adds Gilda Carle, PhD, a psychotherapist and relationship expert.

3. Massaging: 80 calories per hour: As it turns out, giving a good massage can get your heart rate up and kick your body into calorie-burning mode. But the way to ramp things up even more isn’t to speed things up. Instead, consider going slower, recommends Kinzbach. “This may seem counterintuitive to burning calories,” she says, “but going slower and deeper is not only more sensual, it works different muscles.

4.  Having sex: 144+ calories per half hour: The key for high-calorie-burning sex is making it hot and making it last, say experts. Perhaps the best way to maximize calorie-burning during sex is to make sure you orgasm. Experts estimate that women who orgasm during sex burn more calories during lovemaking than those who don’t.

5. Giving oral sex: 100 calories per half hour:  Here’s a stat you don’t hear every day: Being on the giving end of oral sex may be just as effective as a quick stint on the elliptical machine.

6. Using your hands: 100 calories per hour: Of course, the old-fashioned hand job is a calorie burner, but you can zap an additional 50 calories per half-hour by taking things up a notch. “Get lots of stuff going at once,” suggests Kinzbach. “Try really slow sensual strokes, and position yourself so that you can use your body as well.”

7. Romantic Dancing: 103 calories per half hour: A little dirty dancing—even with your clothes on—can be a workout for you and your husband. Couples who take dance lessons (and practice in the privacy of their homes) can attest to this. Bonus: “It has been shown in scientific studies that right after an aerobic exercise, women become aroused and lubricated more easily

8.  Making out: 238 calories per half hour: A sizzling clothes-on make-out session with the man you love may be the most intense caloric blaster yet. Why? Anticipation, says Dr. Carle, can get your heart rate going. “It gives way to heavy breathing, which gives way to a great calorie burn,” she explains.

If this is true, I don’t have to give up my Christmas chocolate!  No, I’m just kidding.  I really need to find ways to lower my calorie intake, but it’s nice to know that in addition to working out on the elliptical, a little romp with my DH can burn a few calories or 2 as well.

What do you think about the article?

 

 

Prayers and Promises: Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
   and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
   and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

I love this verse.  As I said last week, I am a “take matters into your own hands” kind of person.  I race ahead of God like an excited child at the amusement park….sometimes I go the wrong way or get lost, but when I rely on you, Lord, things just work out!  It is very hard sometimes to put your trust in someone else, but you have proven year after year to be faithful to me and so very reliable.  You are always there.  In times when I just didn’t know how I could make something work, I put it in your hands, and it worked!  Help me, Lord, to continue to learn how to let you lead my life.   “Jesus, take the wheel!”

Chapter 3: Lord, Help Me to Be a Forgiving Person

This is a chapter that not only we women need, but I think men need as well. Forgiveness sometimes can be hard to completely comprehend. If you forgive someone, do they need to apologize first? Do they need to accept that they were wrong? If they don’t, do we still need to forgive? What about forgetting? Does forgiving someone mean that we have to forget what happened to us?

I tell my children never to use the word “hate”. It is a very strong word, and I just don’t like to hear it used. God does not want us to hate, but to love. It was interesting to read though, that even though I don’t like the use of the word “hate”, that if I don’t forgive them, it is the root of hate.

I learned all about this before I was 19 from two family members. I grew up in a family filled with love. We would do anything for each other. Give the shirt off our back. But I had two relatives that did not “fit“ the family mold. I had one relative that I was afraid that if I was ever in a situation where he and I were alone, that I might get sexually abused. I tried to avoid him at all cost. The other family member was so self centered in his own immediate family that he really strained my relationship with his wife for a whole year. Instead of coming to me with issues he had with me when I lived with them for a year, he went through his wife, which ended up straining our relationship that year. I held on to those feelings of unforgiveness even after I became a Christian, and it wasn’t until I was convicted by God, that even though they never apologized and probably never will, it wasn’t up to me. I needed to forgive them. And I did.

You see I didn’t need to wait for them to apologize. It didn’t justify what they had done. I gave it over to God to let him handle and He will handle it. To this day, I feel SO much better knowing that I don’t have to deal with it anymore. I have a God who deals justly with all people.

If you have read any of my early blog entries, you will see that I went through a period of sexual refusal toward my husband. When my eyes were finally opened, when I was truly ready to hear the truth, God revealed to me that while my husband had forgiven me for my past, and God forgave me when I confessed my sin, that I hadn’t forgiven myself, and that gave Satan a foothold into my marriage bed. Since I finally forgave myself, I have been able to heal, and my past is just there… in the past.

I have found lately that Jesus verse about forgiveness 70×7 times is on my mind a lot. (Matthew 18-21-22) I realized something… there is no way I could keep count of forgiving someone 490 times. I would so lose count and have to start over again. I think that is God’s point on forgiveness.

For anyone who has a hard time with forgiveness, remember this. You, yourself, have had a LARGE debt forgiven if you are a Christian. Jesus died for ALL of your sins, not just the ones he chooses to forgive you for. We have no right to be unforgiving for any reason.

Please feel free to post anything that really stood out to you. I think the biggest thing I need to remember where forgiveness is concerned, is to remember Jesus sacrifice to forgive me when I find myself feeling unforgiving toward someone else.

Throwback Thursday: Back to the Basics

So much lingerie… so little time! So, what should I get?

One of the easiest ways all of us can spice up our bedroom attire is by purchasing bras & panties. And if you’re anything like me and sometimes deal with buyer’s remorse, you can make yourself feel better by saying, “They’re not only cute and sexy, but practical too.” There are so many styles of bras & undies to choose from, that you should be able to find something to suit your taste… or that of your man! Let’s take a look at some options.

Panties: I would say that the most utilitarian of all styles of underwear would have to be the thong. Why do I say that? Because not only are they sexy, but you don’t have to worry about V.P.L. (visible panty line) underneath clothing. Bikinis, briefs, G-Strings, crotchless, boy shorts and cheeky panties are some other viable alternatives. (Don’t underestimate the power of a pair of cotton bikinis with a ribbed tank top. Sometimes simplicity has the biggest impact!)

Bras: One tip about buying bras is to definitely have a bra fitting from the store in which you would like to make your purchase. There are few things less irritating than wearing an ill fitting bra… and annoying usually doesn’t translate to sexy. Stores from Victoria’s Secret to JC Penney to Lane Bryant offer this free service, so take them up on it and get your “girls” in the right cup! Cleavage enhancing, push-up, open tip, corsets and shelf bras might all be something new that you may want to try.

The possibilities are endless for under garment combinations. You can by sets or mix & match. Pick from satin, cotton, leather, lace, rhinestone embellished… or even edible! Not all bras and panties need to have dual purposes. It’s okay to treat yourself to something ultra seductive with only one thing in mind. By having these versatile pieces, it is by far the easiest way to transition from an evening out to an evening in. There’s no time wasted.  Just peel off your outer clothing and let the games begin!

If you would like to read the comments from the original article, click here to take you to Christian Nymphos.org

As We Age: Self Lubrication

It took me almost 11 years of marriage to love sex like I do now. I feel like I have lost something though…my body is older now, and it does not work like it used to when I was younger. The one thing that I notice the most that bothers me the most is my ability (or should I say inability) to produce my own natural lubrication. It just doesn’t happen anymore….well, it does slightly when I am ovulating, but that is the time when my husband and I practice our NFP and come up with other ways to satisfy our needs. I decided to do some research on natural lubrications.

It was disheartening at first to read that some women have the opposite reaction to me…they produce too much lube! But then I found one site that I giggled at…Dr. Sue Johanson suggests on her website that when we produce our own natural lubrication, that we are “horny” (her words). SO that is my problem! I am not horny! (Sorry, I just had to giggle there) Estrogen is a major factor in self lubrication. As you approach your late 30’s and early 40’s, the level of estrogen in your body may not be as high and when you were younger. THIS made more sense to me. I am possibly entering in the perimenopausal stage of my life, so changes in the hormones in my body do and will affect my sex life now.

So what am I to do about lubrication? I can tell you that sex without it can be painful for me, so my husband and I went through a process of elimination to choose the right lube for us. We tried KY Jelly and found it very sticky and not too comfortable. We tried Astroglide as well. I like it better than KY. Then we heard about coconut oil.

coconut oil

At first, I was like…”Don’t you cook with coconut oil”, but coconut oil was non greasy, it didn’t stain our sheets, it was inexpensive (we buy Louana coconut oil at Walmart for $3 a tub), and it worked awesome! Since we don’t use condoms, we have no problem with using coconut oil, but if you do use condoms, be sure to choose a water based lube. The oil will break down a condom. Now there are times when I do like to go back to Astroglide or we’ve even tried flavored lubes like Juicy Lube (great for oral sex!!!) , but for the bang for the buck (hee hee), coconut oil is the way to go.

If you would like to read the original comments on this article on ChristianNymphos.org, please click here.

Prayers and Promises: 2 Timothy 3:16-17

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,  so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.  (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

I am probably the most guilty of trying to go through life without reading the manual for life.  I am hoping in this new year that I can remedy this.   I am such a type A personality, that I have to do things myself or I feel they don’t get done correctly.  But I can tell in my levels of anxiety, tiredness, and I get highly emotional.  Thank you, Lord, for giving me clear, set directions for my life.  Help me, Lord, to make more time to be with you in your Word this year.

Chapter 2: Lord, Cleanse me and make my heart right before you.

This chapter is going to be very useful to me as I apply it in my life.   As I read through this chapter several times, I realize that I think of myself as a good person.   My faith in the Lord is strong.  I have been told that I am “spiritually mature” in my outlook on life.   I know of one BIG sin in my life that I am confessing of and repenting of during this chapter, too.  It’s going to take some time talking to the Lord about it to get it taken care of.   But as Stormie mentioned in the chapter, I am one of those people that have a hard time seeing the small, hidden sins, and I am in great need of God bringing those forth so I can confess.

I can be very black and white at times, so I like to think that I have a good grasp on right and wrong.  With that in mind, here are some things that I picked up on in this week’s chapter…. First thing that I highlighted in my book “It’s realizing that you can’t make anything happen, but you can surrender your life to God and let Him make things happen.”   Try as I might in my daily life, I find that things usually work best when I include God in the plans.  His plans usually work much better than the things that I try to do on my own.   I am a type A, administrative type.   I am a doer.   I don’t like to sit back and wait for someone else to do it, especially at work.  I do it myself.   I need to spend some time with God, listening to His plan for my life, His plan for my work, His plans for me.    I need to stop doing and start being still and listening.

This makes me squirm… “In order to see positive changes happen in your life, you have to be open to the cleansing and stretching work of the Holy Spirit.”   Am I being deceived about myself and my life?  I think so.   I just can’t see it, but I can feel it…. that nagging sensation that there is something that I am just not seeing…. I guess that is the feeling I have been having lately…. the Spirit trying to stretch me and mold me.   Nudging me toward God to the next step….confessing.    I have no clue what sins are buried deep within me sometimes.  I feel the Spirit trying to flesh them out though.

But I finally realized that all sin is sin, so I confessed my resentment to God as sin – and the moment I did, the feeling of sickness in my body left. ”  I have a feeling that will be my testimony soon.

The concepts of confessing and repenting are lessons that I am working on with my daughter.   She can be one of those people who are “professional apologizers” and I am trying to work with her on her level of understanding about that repenting means intending to never do it again.   Not just saying sorry to be forgiven if you truly don’t feel sorry.   I liked when she said, “Repentance means being so deeply sorry for what you have done that you will do whatever it takes to keep it from happening again.”   When I confess, I truly feel that way.  I don’t want to do it again, and I try my hardest not to do it… my black and white kicks in.  When I know it is truly wrong, I know it and don’t want to do it again.

So, I am off to do some serious discussion with the Lord about what I need to know is in my heart that needs confessing.    What are your thoughts on this chapter?  What does it bring out for you?